Airborne

Okay, here I go, being cliche...IM SO EXCITED ABOUT 2014!  After Christmas, there is a hush, a lull, an anticipation for what is just on the horizon, a new dawn, a new day, a new whatever comes to mind as the hour approaches, and a gear shifts us into a new year of possibilities.  A year ago, I took a huge leap, jumped feet first into the world of coaching. What started last January has changed my life.  When I glance backward in time, I see the faces of the front of the room masterful coach leaders...they knew where the student coaches were headed, they had seen the wonder, the confusion, the insecurities and the innocence of the novice many times before.  Like knowing loving parents, they witnessed eggs hatching, baby birds flapping their immature coaching wings, and fledglings leaving the nest for virgin flights, only to hit the ground, shake off the impact and try flying again. Today I grin, appreciating what I have learned, Ioving what is now and what is not yet in view as I trust my wings, strong and able, keeping me airborne. 

Lies in Disguise as Truth

Integrity is a seemingly illusive quality.  It shimmers promise and reminds me of a White Knight, in full armour, ready to fight the good fight, mounted on steady and powerful stead. It is an ideal, a form of perfection rarely sought after, a word thrown around that gets tossed to and fro, battered and clipped, pieces chipping off until it turns into something else, a shadow of its former self, a pseudo replica, a distasteful lie.  I love coaching, because of the ideal, the shooting for the stars as a human being.  Honesty is highly valued in the coaching profession, along with accountability in the coaching relationship. The spill over is to be fiercely courageous in real life, real time, integrating honesty and accountability into all relationships. It's not just about me, I change the world, impact it profoundly every time I chose to speak and be the TRUTH to others. They aren't just words, the Truth is a living breathing entity and it can help or hurt...it is a powerful gift or a weapon of destruction.  This is a warning, beware of those who boldly use what they call truth, as a guise for self serving, rationalized thoughts and the resultant behaviour, they are not speaking Truth, being Truth, they speak lies in disguise.  How and when do you know the difference?  Check your reaction, you know, you just plain old do...

Freedom

Reminder:  You are free from addiction. What if this flashed across your phone screen, unbidden, unplanned, a written note from a hand unseen?  A love note really, a reminder of freedom, 2 Peter 2:19 for you are a slave to whatever controls you.  It's funny, in a peculiar way, to write about freedom from my Canadian kitchen while sipping delicious coffee, it seems wrong somehow. I am so free that I can pick and chose what I do with my time, my career, my family and friends and other things...this is where freedom becomes dicey, because I get to chose my additions too.  Addiction sounds choiceless and in a world gone mad with narcissistic indulgences, addiction is presented as illness, a "oh the poor thing, something must have gone terribly wrong for them and they just can't help themselves" mentality.  Addiction is a convenience, at least it is for me, it is a checking out from responsibility and accountability for my abundant time, an unnecessary vacation from an amazing life. What am I addicted too?  Email, my cell phone, my iPad...all harmless, right?  Except when I do the one thing that God has commanded me NOT to do, and that is to love my devices more than the people in my life, and each time I ignore them for a device, it becomes a vice.  Huh, I just realized that vice is in the word device...a reminder perhaps?

Soul Food

I have a fabulous healer that I have worked with for years. She is intuitive and picks up on energetic blocks and than starts the process of healing by asking questions. The questions are within a time line and are a prompt for the client, for me in this case, to check out what emotions are trapped, what I am holding on to that does not serve me, that is an impediment to my peace, my unencumbered wholeness as a human.  Invariably, the lines of communication between my healer and my body and the soul it houses, are open. I too, am open, to being unstuck, unblocked, ready to learn about what I need to leave behind, let go of, forgive in another or myself so that I am available to the good stuff of which joy and love are made.  Sounds so other worldly, and of course, it is.  We are more than flesh and blood, we are spirit and today, the soul food I got was just what The Great Physician ordered.  This one is for you Cindy Palajac, much love. 

Time Stops and Starts with The Birth of Christ

A monumental event happened some 2000 years ago, time stopped............and started again.  The event changed everything for eternity and as predicted since the dawn of man, came to pass in the birth of the God child, Jesus.  Nothing and no one has ever stopped and started time, nor will they.  God as creator set the moon and the stars and their schedule in the Heavens and He alone gives us time, unstoppable, untameable, and undeclared. We don't know when life will be given, or be taken, and He alone determines the length of life. In the case of Christ, the time was awaited, there was and is awe, and whether one declares Christ as personal Saviour or not, many around the world celebrate Christmas and share a kind of love and affection unheard of at other times of year.  The past and the present are not so different. The calendar is marked by the birth of Emmanual, God with us, and every Dec 25th, mankind stops, all of mankind...check the stock market, mans singular claim to fame, it too honours The King. 

Me We He

From me to we to He.  When I became an entrepreneur in 1996, I went to work for myself. I figured if I provided excellent service, my clients would see me as hireable and worthy of the fees I charged and my joke, as a personal trainer, has been "I get to boss people around and they pay me".  This was the me part, the ego I can do it and I'm going to prove it part.  The amazing component when working with others closely is that relationships bud and grow and what was a business transaction quickly becomes a caring and loving of the one you work with. This is where the we comes into play. Working for the client and with the client on mutually agreed upon goals, changes from me as boss, to we as team.  Available in this type of relating is synergy, a connecting that brings joy to both parties.  Coaching has taught me that nothing is more powerful than a designed alliance, an agreement of two or more of what is and is not to be in relationship.  Each party agrees to play fair, with no one part being greater than the whole. This brings me to He...Christs mandate, His request, "Love God with all of your Heart, Mind and Soul, and Love one another".  Today I work for God, agreeing to His mandate, and it is good. 

Colours

Truth is everywhere and we all have access to it, not in a my truth is just as valid as your truth even if they are different kind of way, but in an honest to goodness measurable it really exists way.  For example, trees have roots.  We can not see the roots usually, but they are there.  Here is another brilliant truth, we breathe oxygen, I can't see it and I'm pretty sure no one else can but it's there alright, I just used up some while typing.  Truth becomes a subjective crazy intangible thing, when we have a perspective and someone, whether a perfect stranger or someone that loves us, smacks us out of it.  I'll give you a very personal example:  I used to live by the motto the best defence is a good offence, I didn't make this up, it was learned. It was a really great way to take care of myself if there was a perceived threat but a super lousy way to be in relationship.  Get them before they get me is the underlying sentiment and this one perspective can and does colour the world, maybe with a bit of red, if I were to pick a colour~fiery, others could get burned, would be the descriptor.  I have met many a kind soul who go in the opposite direction, lovelies who would rather be wrong and be responsible for the emotions of others by defending themselves when challenged or attacked emotionally, verbally.  This too, colours the world, perhaps in a shade of muddy brown, self depricating, you are right, I am probably wrong, would be the descriptor.  The truth part in all this is that others see us, know who we are based on how we are in the world.  In Power vs Force, truth is quantifiable, it IS science and we have access to the truth every minute of every hour of every day...sometimes we need someone else to tell us the truth, it is our choice if and how we allow, The Truth, to colour our world.

Selfish Ambition

Tonight I went to the grocery store. I saw there a little man, hunched forward with age in a well used body. It has been raining all day and he wore a coat, a rain coat, despite the cold air. I couldn't help but watch him as he picked up a box of chocolates.  I got distracted and looked away and without another thought, carried on with my shopping. I heard two people, I think a mother and daughter, calculating food costs...a group of three young university aged kids spoke about how cheap potatoes are.  In the last isle of the store, yet another couple compared prices and looked for the best buy, store flyer in hand. There was the little man, my attention was again drawn to him. He had in his cart toilet paper and paper towel, not one food item and definitely no pot of gold chocolate box.  As I walked tonight, rain pouring down, I wept and thought of "upward mobility", words I haven't heard in quite some time. It occurred to me that they are words that disguise empty selfish ambition. If I am upwardly mobile, than I can not see those around me for fear that I am them. What good is all I have, all I accumulate, if I have not love for my fellow man?  Oh selfish ambition, how dare you threaten my love for humanity.  

Rapids

I have the words to a song playing in my head:  rock the boat don't tip the boat over rock the boat...I don't know the rest but I am thinking that the song is informing me of something big.  What if I rock the boat, someone else's boat, and it tips and they fall out?  I expect that they might not expect this, and as they hit the water and go under, that they might sputter and splash as they fight their way back to the surface.  They might laugh at me for tipping them in and try to return the favour; they might get angry with me and curse me;  they might thank me and suggest that they feel refreshed and wished they had some shampoo for the sudden bath. The possibilities are endless and depending upon the circumstances, the relationship, the individual and their unique take on the world, it could be devastating or it could be one of the best experiences of their life. In coaching, coach and client climb into a boat, sometimes traveling rough waters. The coach has the oars and can powerfully steer the client into rapids, ones that threaten to catapult the client into the crashing waves...the coach knows the client will survive if this happens because they not only have the ability to swim to shore on their own, they also have a life jacket, the relationship, keeping them from going under and staying there.  Keeping someone safe from pain is not serving them, it is rescuing them from a truth they want to know, a truth that when exposed, can set them free. Julie Veitch, Mary Butler, Szos St Germain, Thank You all for this message...the third time was the charm. 

Tribes

Yesterday I was in an energetic funk and I searched for answers through reading, my book of choice was Tribal Leadership. I had set my alarm to go to a circuit training class and it crossed my mind to skip the class, but I knew I would regret that so I went and I was pleased with myself because I by-passed my inclination to let myself off the hook. The next task of the day was to shower and get ready for a networking meeting. I felt disinclined, not wanting to attend the meeting. I thought well maybe this is the same as just before my class, I will go because perhaps I will miss something important if I don't and will regret not attending.  I did an over ride of my natural inclination to not attend and this time, I wished I had listened to my instincts.  For many reasons, this group of people are not for me and I started getting that feeling two weeks ago. While each individual is lovely and talented and capable in their own right, they are not my tribe. It would require Herculean effort on my part to "behave myself", meaning follow the rules they want to establish to maintain "order".  Yesterday I spoke my truth, my sentiments about the structure and this caused a glitch in the system. If I continued in this group, I would quickly become the trouble maker, the anarcist, the difficult one, or I would learn to subdue, be quiet and closed off to protect myself from the disapproval of those being challenged by my questioning of the "leadership" and it's "rules".  We all have our tribe, the people who challenge us but see us for who and what we are without judgement.  Instincts and intuition always inform us about where we need to be and with whom.  The questions are: what are your instincts informing you about?  What is the price or cost in over-riding instinct.  In the instance of me going to the gym, going was good for me. In the instance of me attending the meeting, going was not good for me and perhaps, was worse for the others in attendance.  Here it is:  it's not just about what is good for me, it also matters what is good for others. Knowing this means I am responsible for my own feelings and thoughts and the impact they have on others. I am, and always will be, at choice. 

Love Notes

How often do you send love notes?  How often do you receive them?  How often do you feel love bubbling up in your heart, full and rich and aromatic, so much love that you have to share it because if you don't, you might bust wide open.  Lately I have received love, I mean really noticed it and appreciated it and received it, even when it comes in the form of correction. I used to have a little devil on my shoulder, chastising me constantly about what I shouldn't have said or done, what I should do, how maybe if I just stayed quiet, I wouldn't make so many mistakes.  Being good, or perfect in word and deed, that was the pestering prevalent persecution. Not anymore.  I wake every day and ask that my eyes see what God sees, my ears hear what he hears, and that I love like my Saviour, that I love like Jesus.  Who knew, that God would help me see me, help me see my own heart, help me love myself because he loved me first.  My friends, they saw me all along, they always loved me, it was I, and the little liar on my shoulder that were mean to me. This little heart of mine, I'm gonna let it shine, this little heart of mine, I'm gonna let it shine...

Bare Bum Spanking

Have you ever had a bare bum spanking?  I heard this term from my friend Ramona, and I laughed really hard. She was speaking of being corrected, for her own good, by God.  God corrects His children out of love...how can you do rightly if you aren't taught rightly in the first place?  I have had several of these spankings, from God, from friends, from family, from coaches. At first, there is a sting, a feeling of shame and than self recrimination, at least that USED to be my reaction!  I got called out by a fellow coach tonight, someone I respect, and I LOVED IT!  She told me it took her a week to finally be vulnerable enough to tell me what she was thinking. Wow!  She cared enough about herself, and my relationship with her, to express her feelings and thoughts and trust me to be big enough to handle it. Yeah, that's coaching for you.  We are reaching the close of certification and the coaches I love most care most about Co-Activity. Suzanne Gavin, this ones for you. 

Soil of My Soul

The unexamined life is not worth living. I borrow this phrase from where I cannot recall, it's truth speaking volumes.  There is an easy unconsciousness that we can all slip into.  The heavy lifting of old thoughts and patterns that weigh us down can be shrugged off, with conscious effort. Dis ease is a clue that there is a yet unnamed irritant, a certain something that wants to be noticed, spoken, altered. The heart is the seat of the soul, another borrowed expression, and when it skips a beat at a thought, it is sending a message that attention is required. That's how I know, that I have tripped upon a root of buried thought or feeling. Being aware, conscious, at choice and on purpose requires tenacity and willingness, the payoffs are strength of character, an integrated body, mind, soul, a knowing that this is the true meaning of life~a presence of being unmatched.  When I look at the root as it sits waiting on the surface, I am invited to go deeper, into the soil of my soul.

Why?

What you want to do with your life is important, why you want to do it is even more important. There has to be a reason, a why for your life. When I get feedback from clients, I take note what the impact is that I have on them.  This gives me a sense of the why part for what I do. I want to know that I make a meaningful difference in the lives of people I serve. I want to know that after they have been in my presence, and me in theirs, that we have shared something significant, something life altering, something bigger than just a passing of time. Why do what you do if it is a slow death of sameness, a giving away of self for yesterday's repeats?  If this is "it", how satisfied are you?  Will you be okay if five years from now the same is all you have?  When feeling into this question, what would you change, chase after, and why?  

Say it and make it so

Setting intentions is powerful stuff. I participated in my final pod call today, an almost six month investment in my education as a Co-Active Coach. At the beginning of the call, my fellow students and I were asked to recall what intentions we had set at the beginning of certification.  Looking back, I see that what I set out to accomplish, I did.  To solidify this learning, our program leader took us through a visualization, a look to the future view of who we will be as coaches. At one point, I saw a stack of cards from clients, and inside, the words of Life and Purpose affirmed me. In five years from now, I will be more of what I already am, and some. We were asked finally, to make statements of how we see our future selves, and the gift that followed was a fellow coach sharing what they saw as a vision for the one that shared and also a longing that they had for the coach.  These statements were intention setting, now speaks to later, making knowing where you are going a possibility.  Say it and make it so.

Ash to Maple

In many a movie, trees have personalities and power. I have been thinking about trees a lot lately. What if all of nature in in sympathy with us, with human beings?  I heard a true love story of a husband and wife and in their back yard, two trees of different variety intertwined in an embrace for the length of their marriage. The couple would look out at the tree(s) and each knew which one represented them. When the wife died, so did her tree...Another story is that of an ash tree.  A woman started her career and a gift from her employer was a tree, one she could select. Her husband picked an ash tree, she wanted a maple. As time went on, the tree grew, spitting keys and making a mess. The woman was busy with her career and taking care of herself took a back seat to work. She became ill, and decided that her wellness was crucial and took steps toward healing. The tree became sick as work became a heavy burden...the woman was getting well but knew that if she continued to work, her wellness would be in jeopardy. She took courageous steps, claimed her life and decided to retire, the tree spit up black spiny balls, coughing up its sickness.  The tree died, the woman lives, strong, vibrant, ready for her blessed future.  Sympathy?  Empathy?  You tell me?  The tree started with her at the beginning of her career, suffered when she suffered and died just as she closed the door on a chapter in her life to open the next one. A maple, her favourite tree, takes up a place in her lawn and in her heart.  A sapling, a new beginning. The ash, it doesn't mind, it too, will renew, because seeds of it's life flew far and wide while it lived and loved.  Nature as nurture?  We need not look far to feel and know love.

KELI NETHERCOTT

If you haven't experienced coaching, then you just don't know what you are missing. I had lunch with one of my favourite people today, she is a Co-Active Coach. We met for the first time last January and became fast friends instantly. Through the core curriculum courses we grew in many ways and watched each other expand, break down barriers, protective walls that had grown, ivy and all, around our hearts.   Over the past year, we have shared our hopes, fears, dreams, worries, insecurities, doubts, faith.  We have exchanged ideas and tools and how to skills. Through it all, we have spoken our native tongue, the language of the heart, and love has grown. We see greatness in each other, because it exists.  We are both working our way toward certication and as coaches and in this process, we have learned to see, hear, name what is real and true and lovely, and what is not so real true and lovely.  Honesty is the hallmark of abiding friendship and for this, I am grateful~I LOVE YOU KELI NETHERCOTT in a scream it in the parking lot kinda way.

Teenagers-The Beautiful People

It is 7:30, Saturday evening. I sit in my car waiting while my son and two other teenagers go door to door collecting cans for food for a Scrooge campaign food drive that has been a tradition since I went to the same high school many moons ago...God bless them, teenagers are beautiful people. Christmas brings out the best in many and the fantastic in these teens. 

Completion

Two days ago I met a client for a completion session. Coaching had been intense with this client and for several reasons, it ended rather abruptly. Time passed and when we were in contact again, I requested completion. The concept of completion is a foreign one to most people and is not something taught by our parents or to our children, at least, it hadn't been taught to me, until coaching. Coaching is about relationship, a mutual understanding that clear and pure intention is the under tone or drumbeat that allows for honesty in sharing verbally, emotionally, always for the benefit, learning and forward movement of the client.  Not all coaching relationships end with warm and fuzzies and completion becomes crucial for both parties when loose ends need tying.  The challenge is to express the learning on both sides, to speak of things undone and well done and the impact they have had on each party.  It takes courage to speak and even more to listen but the gift of seeing the other as so valuable that you must share is priceless. Self protection, defensiveness, being offended, they stop existing when I give without expecting to get, when I share with love in my heart and malice has no voice. Completion is beautiful and best of all, I modelled this concept for my son, he used it with a friend and in video game speak he said "I think I levelled up in relationships today". Seeing past self to the other, expressing what is important for me in relationship and maintaining connection for the well being of two is a gorgeous way to live, Co-Actively.

Busting Out

What are you trying to prove?  There are two, count em two, huge words in this sentence. Trying is the first and prove is the second. I got coached today in a triad call and the word prove came out of my mouth. I am so thrilled to write this with a grin on my face because I realized I was TRYING to PROVE many things on many levels. When I first practiced coaching, I would try to prove that my intuition was right; when I tried to problem solve with clients, I was proving how clever I am; when I articulated what was going on with the client, I was proving that I am a good listener, you get the idea. Today, I realized that in all my trying, I was attempting to prove to MYSELF, that I could do it, whatever it happened to be, and also that I wanted others to see and know that I can.  Today, I broke free and I DONT HAVE TO PROVE A THING, NOT TO ME, NOT TO ANYONE!  Hahahaha, I am filled with joy, inexplicable, busting open freedom joy!  I  am coach, with all the bells and whistles, skills and talents. I am human being, full of grace and love for myself AND for the other.  Sweet freedom, the jail door has sprung open and I am busting out of the cell of self disapproval and trying too hard. Yippy for me and I thank my God for coaching.

Hide or Show Up

Talent hidden or unused is wasted. What if I am hiding my own, what if I check out?  I had a leisurely day today, nap included, and as I walked my dog I realized if I don't schedule activity, meaning some form of work, I take the day off.  I looked at this from a detached perspective, without emotion. In the past, I would have accused myself of laziness, that it is luxurious to nap and take life easy.  Today, I saw a different angle, a glimpse into my tendency to hide, sometimes distract myself from doing important work. I have a book I started, and it waits for the writing.  What will happen, or not happen, when I finish the book?  World book tour, TV and radio interviews, people clambering for my autograph?  Or maybe the book doesn't ever get published, it remains an uninteresting heep of paper with words scattered all over it, fire starter.  I guess I will never know, until I decide, hide or show up.

For The Glory

Playing favourites?  Have you ever played?  When I was growing up with my two sisters, there were a lot of comparisons made, setting us up for distrust in one another, petty arguments and fights, resentment. The comparisons came from the outside and were often said right in front of the three of us.  So and so is my favourite or that one is the prettiest, cruel and rude at best, these comments were made to make one girl feel special while the others felt thrown on the junk heep.  I weep now, at the realization that this caused us all much pain, and I am saddened at the thought that unwittingly, my sisters and I have born the scars and lived certain behaviours long into our adulthoods. The dynamic, the energy, the reactivity, the very existence of an embedded pattern shows up again and again, twisting and twirling in a dervish like dance, spinning out of control until...there it is, I can see it, I recognize the demented dance and I stop, dead in my tracks.  At almost 47, the lie of comparison is revealed.  Better than is broken.  Shine your light and let the whole world see is about self, not in comparison to another, but for the Glory of Him who made me.

Pete

Today in church a Down's syndrome man named Pete did his work as ambassador.  Each time he is well enough to be in church, my heart swells up with appreciation for the sweet little man. When the band is playing, he often turns to the congregation and lifts his arm high for all to see, orchestrating the singing. If someone becomes emotional, he calls out, "you alright?".  During service, Pete works the crowd, shaking hands with the people gathered.  Pete has many angelic qualities:  he works for God; he is a messenger for God; he is fearless, sincere, guileless.  Pride does not exist and he goes freely, offering welcome to all who see and hear the gift he generously wants to bestow. God gave him the gift of no self doubt, no indulgent thoughts of self preoccupation, as a perfect model of the love of Christ.  Pete is a living breathing portrait of Christ, pure of heart and intention.  I need only to look at Pete to be reminded to look up, and meet once again the gaze of my Saviour as He too, extends His hand in welcome to "come, follow me".

Spirits In a Material World

We are spirits, in a material world, are spirits, in a material world...these are lyrics from a song written by The Police.  I heard the song in a spinning class and it threw me back in time.  I used to play certain albums over and over again, memorizing them because the lyrics moved me, touched my soul with the Truth embedded in the music. I didn't know what the lyrics meant back then, I just knew that there was dissonance, a tearing of soul from body, a great divide of longing and than rudely, physical reality and spiritual reality. The soul, my soul, cried out for justice, Truth, honesty, generosity, genuine connection and Love...what I got and what I longed for without the ability to express it all at the time were two different things.  I now have the words, I am a spirit, a soul, housed in a beautiful body, God breathed, gifted beyond belief because He Made me.  His imprint is my blueprint, my soul celebrates my faith through my body, in song, in dance, in laughter, with love and a joy immeasurable.

Palominos

My last blog was about a repair bid, the souls way of breaking through and asking for healing, peace, reconciliation.  What about reconciliation with self?  This week I struggled between the me, the wild pony me, and fitting in with the tameness that others live by.  The wild pony me is curious and playful, lovingly nudging and edgy, with a crazy run for the fences and leap to the other side energy. In my wildness I send invitation, a come run with me and let's see what we will discover along the way.  Depending on who I'm with, I either run wild and free or, I feel the bite of the bit in my mouth, the backward pull and reigning in of what is natural. With their discomfort, I feel self conscious, unruly, and corralled.  Is it them or is it me?  Am I too much or are they not enough?  If I push, will they break or will they push back?  Palominos run with palominos...turtles don't run.  I think I have my answer.  This is for Keli, Julie, and Lauren. You are my paliminos.

Repair Bid

Being and doing is a balancing act. The body houses the soul and the body is never still and perhaps, the restlessness of the soul is the reason.  I heard a cool term the other day, repair bid. I found out from a friend that it is used in her business often to refer to a bid to do work that has to be adjusted or repaired. I heard the term in reference to relationship and found it fascinating because there are rips and tares in relationships and when breakdown occurs in the form of arguments or fighting, sometimes within the battle, one person will look away, stop speaking, or pause~this is an indication of neutrality, a bid to repair the breach in relationship.  The body, through the eyes, subtle head shifts or apparent silence gives signals of what is happening internally.  Matching the inside with the outside is the challenge, a risk in vulnerability.  Repair bid is perhaps the call of the soul, a request for mending what wants to be healed.

Doggie Knows Best

My dog and I have this cool relationship.  He looks at me with hope in his eyes when I walk toward the front closet where his walking gear is and sometimes, I have to apologize to him, tell him not now.  He gives me the downcast look, the why not, what could possibily be more important than a walk look.  He and I both know what we are missing.  Over the weekend my city got a spectacular amount of gorgeously glimmering brighter than white snow.  Walkways hadn't been plowed but that didn't stop me and my dog. Out we went, knee high in snow for me in spots where others hadn't yet trod. Caesar bunny like hopped two paws in and out at at time, happily running as fast as I could keep up.  The excileration was breath taking and the beauty of the white blanket balm for the soul.  I could have stayed out there all day...

Demanding as Commanding

Thought patterns and behaviours are changeable. This is "the way I am" is an easy way of saying, I'm not changing.  Change only occurs if there is loss, or the threat of loss.  If I am demanding and people give in to my ways, I have several options when confronted by this truth. I can see myself as an opportunist and congratulate myself for winning all of the time. I can see the other and the impact my demands have on them and continue to demand my way or perhaps, conversely, I might see the impact and decide that it is self serving, necessitating a change.  I am seeing any demand, as a command, as a way to control the situation, people, circumstances, a bid to predict outcomes and responses.  The rigidity of this is a comfort for the commander, a self soothing way of mastering environment and the people in it.  It is not so comforting for the commanded, it is a form of constraint, a rude imposition of will.  When the response to a demand or command becomes a no, a definitive NO, there opens possibility for change in the commander.  In true and abiding relationship, the fear of loss forces change when yes becomes no.  Commander must decide which holds importance to them, being in command, or being in relationship?

What If?

What if behind the scenes, there is a conspiracy, and everything is working FOR YOU?  What if fear is the blinder that keeps you from seeing through a very thin veil?  What if on the other side of the veil, spectacular is waiting for you?  Glimpses of perfection entice, call out to seek and find. Life is a scavenger hunt, we are the hunters, looking for hidden treasure. In The Bible, there is a verse, if God be for me, who can stand against me?  What if He, God Almighty, with nods and winks and sparkling things peeking out of sand and barely hidden in the corners of our minds, hearts, souls, what if He has planted treasure and all we need do is seek and find?  What if with one gentle full inhale, God breathes out, look here, over there, this way, warmer, warmer...what if?

Trees

I love the sound of leaves crunching under my feet in the fall. I'm not sure what delights me about it but it does. Today I crunch crunch crunched my way home and as I walked, I saw a whole mess of leaves, wind blown into a pile against the barrier of a fence. It occurred to me that they came from somewhere (yes, I know, a tree!) and I decided to look up.  There stood the stripped naked tree, branches bleak without their colourful leafy clothing, vulnerable to the wind, rain, weather.  In its vulnerable state, the tree is rooted, strong and tall and ready to face the winter, wind, rain and all.  In coaching, clients shed their outer layer, the protective defence mechanisms that have shielded them from perceived and real threat, making them willingly vulnerable and in their naked soul state, they discover their strength, rooted in Truth, Faith, and self Love. This one is for you Helena, my soul sister and faith twin, much Love. I too am blissed and blessed.

Empathy

Being empathic can be a gift, or a curse. Empathy is the seeing, feeling, knowing of pain for the other as though you too, were suffering. Shutting this off or down is a natural inclination, self preservation being the more comfortable choice rather than suffering~why suffer if you have an option?  Feeling the pain, being with it as coach means to stay, being courageous enough to acknowledge it and not run and hide. How can I be a soft place to land for another when I cut and run if and when pain appears?  How can I love another to their own strength if I cannot hold them in their pain?  How can I be the ears and eyes, the witness of strength when I am unavailable to the heart break, the soul wrenching suffering.  In the sharing, their is the fortifying, in the spilling of blood, there is the knitting together of the wound, in the healing, their is the unifying of souls.  Love God,  love others, change the world.  What else is there?

Door Open

There has got to be something in the way of the door closing.  Blocked, stuck, immobilized. Doors are used to keep the cold out, strangers out, the world out.  Doors are used to define boundaries and invitation.  My door is always open to you is warm and welcoming.  I shut the door in his face is a violent expression, a do not enter, you are NOT welcome here message. Currently I am pondering open doors.  I like doors wide open or shut, with the lock on. I am fearful of the inbetween and the discomfort that comes with the not knowing.  I'm curious what is happening.  In the past, I would see ambiguity, indecisiveness and even judgement that goes something like this "make up your mind for goodness sake" if I found myself in the inbetween. Now I'm seeing that the undone part, the not knowing part, is the invitation in relationship, not for me to decide its fate, open or closed, but for the other to decide. I leave the door open, and I patiently and curiously wait...

Whisssper

Whisssper. That's the word I heard in my head as I drove to a clients house for a training session this morning, whisssper.  I turned on my stereo and the queued up disc began to play and I was tempted to switch to another band, not sure if I was in the mood for the one singing away. I resisted the urge, and within the first sentence, the word whisper appeared along with the phrase, calling out my name.  The music is by Avalon, a Christian group.  God whispers in my ear and as He does this, He calls my name.  Tears of gratitude came along with a knowing that He sees me, hears me, but most importantly, He wants me to see and hear Him. Precognition, synchronicity, intuition, déjà vu, premonition, these are my gifts, my hearing and seeing Him, His way of communicating and when I listen to the message, it brings abundant joy, knowing that His message is Linda, I love you.  This is not the first time, nor will it be the last, that He speaks the words of Truth I need to hear, when I need to hear them.

Rough Spots

The art of coaching, words are brush strokes, perspectives are vistas, acknowledgment captures the essence and honesty refines and defines lines.  Pretty picture, done.  Resonance ordered up and delivered...but that isn't how it always goes in fact, there is discomfort, upset, challenge and risk in the very intimate relationship that exists between client and coach.  Sometimes the upset happens for the coach because we are not bloodless robots delivering a rote service of happiness and fulfillment.  The coaching relationship is just that, with impact on both sides, investment from both parties. It is unique and wonderful and scary and fantastic all at once and when things go sideways, when there is a bump in the road, the challenge is to stay...work through the rough spots and go deeper.

Gloom To Glow

Yesterday was Remembrance Day, and it rained dreary, and dark...apropos given the heavy loss that everyone feels in honouring those that gave their lives for us to enjoy freedom.  Over night, snow fell, blanketing my city in brilliance, purifying cleansing snow, the fresh crispness reminding me that after the dark, there is always the Light.  My dog ran out into our lawn snout down, mouth open, scooping up the magical white mana. In this display of animal glee, I bust open too, sheer joy filling me up and helping me to breath deeply, delighted to be given this new outlook, from gloom to glow, God is good.

Self Judgement

How do you recharge your batteries?  I am a pretty upbeat and energetic kinda gal with lots of enthusiasm for life and sharing and caring but every once in a while bam, I hit a wall. I had a delicious hot drink with a friend recently and she described herself as lazy. This is so far from the what I know to be true about her that I had to ask what she meant.  She told me that she could just sit and not care if she saw anyone for days at a time AFTER going full tilt with lots of socializing that involves hostessing and caring for the needs of others. I asked her if she believed she is an introvert?  She answered yes, she thinks she is. I suggested that when she withdraws, it is her way of healing, recharging.  She seemed relieved to hear this.  After calling herself lazy for who knows how many years, this new perspective seemed so true as to be a pleasant surprise. When compared to others in her family, she had always considered herself to be falling short, with less to give because of her withdrawal after the full exposure to the crowds in her life (no joke, this woman teaches, is a major organizer for a large church and is married with two very busy daughters). Self judgement can be so harsh.  Ask a friend or family member how they see you and wait for the lovely gift of appreciation they have for you as a great human being. Take the compliments, believe them, and enjoy.

I Love You

I got a challenge today...when answering the phone, saying the words "I love you", no matter who is on the other end.  With call display, this makes for an easy selection process because when the phone rings, there is an automatic I love feeling or an oh, dang, do I really have to answer this call cuz so and so annoys the heck out of me feeling.  The challenge is simple, love everyone, no matter who is calling...haha, simple, nothing could be further from the truth, and here in lies the challenge.  To love the unloveable is a feat, an over-riding of the inclination to protect the self from those that are difficult to be with.  I want love to be my call to the wild, in me and in the humans that cross my path, familiar or otherwise.  Call me, in the next two weeks I will answer with "I Love You".

Perfectly Happy

Yesterday...all my troubles seemed so far away (singing this Beatles like, in my head as I type) Yesterday was a crazy coaching day for me.  I got lessons all over the place, in my face lessons about the importance of infrastructure for policies and procedures; who my ideal client IS NOT; what transference looks and feels like, again; the damage projection from me to client can cause; what I can't be with; how keenly aware I must be of the context of self management; what is and what is full stop NOT, coaching.  Through it all, I was different from the me of yesteryear, I had a short self reproach pitty party after a not so well done on my part coaching session but than, I snapped out of it.  Accountability, immediate and with remorse came first, with an apology to the client.  Next came forgiveness, and a letting go of regret, followed by the learning, the thought that yeah, that session wasn't my best but I know what good coaching looks like, feels like, is.  With the knowing, I coached again, with two more clients...thankfully, I recovered, forgot about mistakes gone by and stayed present to the client(s) and I did what I know to be excellent coaching.  Phew, bitter sweet relief.  I'm not perfect, but I'm perfectly happy with that.

Emotional Contagion

Emotional contagion...yeah, sounds like quite the disease. What I learned today is what I already knew, but with super charged awesome verbiage!  Our emotions are contagious, that's right, they are catchy.  Not only are emotions contagious, they are impossible to mask!  Here is the example I heard:
Before leaving the house for work, school, wherever, you have a disagreement with a family member/ room mate.  You know you have to face people and you decide that you will put on a happy face, leave that nasty argument behind and make the most of the day.  Good plan, but what you may not know is that people read your emotions, not the lying smile on your pretend happy face, and this confuses them.  Mirror neurons, the human truth detectors that let us know that behind the smile, there is a story, are Gods gift to humanity. You can't fake it till you make it, you gotta get through it, deal with whatever is making you a mess inside, come to some kind of peaceful resolution within before the smile can ever be perceived as genuine.  I love science, neuroscience in particular, because emotions don't lie, the brain does!  Follow your gut~it is the messenger of Truth and it tells you what IS every single time.

Love Is Immutable

I had a really cool revelation today about love, more specifically about its permanency.  When I was growing up, I heard the words I love you a lot. Today I thought about what I believe about love.  This wasn't my first foray into these investigative thoughts but today, I had the oh, I get it moment that gave me a real smiley face uplift...I mean I grinned from ear to ear for a good part of my dog walk after the epiphany.  In the Bible, there is a verse that reads "faith without deeds is dead". This speaks to love in action, and while I heard the words I love you often, I didn't believe them at any given moment because they seemed to come at me from good moods, or an overflow of the heart because the person speaking them was having a good day.  Was I loved, absolutely!  Was it demonstrated, yes, in infinite ways BUT...opposite messages were also delivered, often in silence, when the persons mood was less than happy, was miserable, or it was a "bad day".  Communication skills were not taught well in my household and so, there was always an insecure feeling, a not knowing of something...now I put my finger on the something, it is love. This not knowing feeling has presented, pattern like, in my relationships throughout the years, giving me the sense that love is a come and go kind of thing. God reminded me today of His immutability, that perception and feelings do not always clearly represent truth and that "His love endures forever". My Perfect Model gives love, Is Love, and I follow in His footsteps.

The Force

One of the things I love most about coaching is the call to honesty.  The client knows that they want something, that there is something missing in their lives but they can't quite put their finger on it and in their eagerness to discover or uncover the unvoiced longing, they are willing to be vulnerable and open themselves up to a coaching relationship. Today I witnessed bravery in two clients, one acknowledging repeatedly that she no longer wants to hold someone else accountable or blame another for holding her back and the second, with trepidation, holding someone accountable in such a valiant way as to be a source of protection for those that could not protect themselves.  It isn't easy, being brutally honest, but without this honesty, there is no forward movement. Coaching is about accounability, responsibility to self first and more importantly, being responsible in the world, for what we think, what we say and do, because we impact others and the force should ALWAYS be used for good.  

Faith in Things Unseen

What if your faith in things unseen was so large as to remove all doubt?  What if your faith in others was so deep that fear of loss and pain from disappointment never crossed your mind?  What if faith in yourself was so embedded, unquestionable and unfathanably larger than life that you said and did and  loved in such a way that others knew your pure intentions, and in so doing, knew your heart?  This is namaste, I see you. Namaste recognizes the beautiful part, the glorious display of the soul...the two parts of us, the me and you that make up the whole are sometimes warring.  We are at times, a house divided against itself. The base human gotta take care of me part says if I don't take care of me, who will?  The divine, God implanted part says, what about others?  How am I a servant?  What joy can I bring?  Who am I in humanity?  What mark will I leave?  Which part of the warring me will win and what legacy do I leave behind?  On my Sabbath, I want the divine to conquer, the faith in things unseen to win.

Money Monster Slayer

Energetically, money is a scary thing for most people.  Money is talked about all of the time and is an idol, a real living and breathing thing in the imagination, a monster in the closet that screeches in a nails on a chaulk board kind of way "not enough, more, you need more of meeeeee".  I am currently studying money, and what I'm noticing is that fear and frustration are partners in crime in the pysche of those who don't understand money, have majical thinking about it, or see it as some kind of threat to their principals and morals ie the rich are greedy.  Yesterday, I presented a Say Yes To Money mini workshop to business women. Learning a profession is fabulous, edifying, AND expensive...learning that you are a salesperson first and foremost requires some insanely deep digging into self limiting beliefs.  Bringing a product or service to market is a must and yet, for the new entrepreneur, charging for services rendered can be embarrassingly painful.  I heard once "services rendered without payment are not valued".  I add to this, services rendered without payment can cause irritation, disillusionment, disappointment and dissatisfaction for the service provider as they begin to recognize that while they are helping others, they are somehow hurting themselves. Getting paid for work is not mercenary, it is a well deserved exchange for what the client wants from the service provider, an Even~Steven honouring from one human being to another.  I am the Money Monster Slayer, on a quest to get clear and help others get clear about how valuable they are before they ever utter the words, my fee is...

Light Worker

One of my new clients called me a "Light Worker" the other day...this delighted me and even now, stops me in my tracks, it's impact and implications washing over me in waves.  There is a song I love and the lyrics are "I wanna be in the light, as you are in the Light, I wanna shine like the stars in the Heavens, Oh Lord be my Light, and be my salvation, cuz all I want is to be in the Light".  Coaching sheds light, sparks the soul and as client and coach work together toward fulfillment in the clients life, they begin to shine like the stars in the Heavens...the coach gets to bask in the Light.  This one is for you Joe, my fellow Light Worker, bear hugs.

No.  This is one of the hardest words to speak and yet, our bodies tell us no all the time. Within, there is the warning, the quiet whisper of no and then, as if by magic, no becomes a yes and in the yes, there is dread, a sense of self betrayal.  Following closely on the heels of yes can be trepidation and ultimately, the costly price of regret.  In coaching, I often ask new clients what they say yes to when they really would rather say no.  This is an enquiry, a request to take notice of the yeses and no's and what the impact is on them when no becomes yes, unwittingly. Coaching is always and forever about self awareness, who I am, who you are, how we show up in the world and most importantly, it is about becoming clear about intentionality.  What do you want?  What are you willing to say no to to get it?  It is not rude to say no, it is simply one possible answer to a request and when it comes from the choice of honouring self, it becomes a precious gem of honesty on display for all to see but more importantly, it becomes a resounding chime of clarity for the person who says NO with conviction.

Biggest Loser Wins

My family and I are watching the Biggest Loser. I am delighted because one of the contestants hit a workout road block and seemed unable to keep pushing herself physically. The trainer told her "push through the pain" and then he took her outside and made her run a mile...haha, no he didn't, he took her outside and helped her process her pain, the under the surface stuff that was bubbling up from her past that was keeping her from moving forward, physically, emotionally, spiritually. She cried, she acknowledged, she was challenged to forgive, for her own sake. Coaching in action, the Co, being, matched so beautifully with the Active, the doing...I am sooooooo happy to be a Personal Trainer and a Co-Active Coach, my life is amazing!  Clarity, I love you!

Standing Ovation

I have a 73 year old client.  She came to me for personal training with balance issues, postural dysfunction, but mostly, she came to me burdened. The weight on her shoulders was heavy, causing Dowengers hump.  Her eyes were perpetually downcast, thoughts of depression keeping her from looking up.  She wobbled and took steps slowly, governed by fear, seemingly ready for a potential stumble and fall, her internal perspective keeping her off balance...the inside dictates what we see on the outside and impacts how we are in the world.  During training, I told my client I am a coach, and a spark lite her eyes. We started coaching and continued training. Today, she taught me something new...using the BOSU, a piece of balance equipment that is a half ball, she showed me how to do a yoga shoulder stand~I was amazed, astounded and ever so slightly appalled at MYSELF!  This woman has lived a full life of raising children, self employment, marriage, successes, failures...she is a wealth of knowledge and she is NATURALLY CREATIVE RESOURCEFULL AND WHOLE!  She is learning skills from me~I am not the source of her strength, her transformation, her creativity, I am her mirror, holding up the image of her that I see as a powerful woman with infinite ability and strength. Shoulders back, gaze straight ahead, standing in her full height and deciding what she will do, when she will do it, and with clear intentions, my client is coming into her own, and I get to watch, step aside and give her a standing ovation.

Younger Me

In an old journal entry from 2003, I wrote:  I want to speak the truth and also remain silent~speak to refresh, to edify, to encourage and to glorify God; I want silence to be my friend when speaking would only do harm.  In rewriting this, I see the black and white of my thinking back then, the either or of communication. Words held power to heal or to hurt and my belief was that those were the two options.  There was a lot of polarization, good bad, black white, either or going on. I was searching, trying to find answers on how to be a kind and loving person, all of the time. In the trying, there was judgement, particularly when I would say or do something "wrong".  I didn't know about coaching, that perspectives are available that can change a whole persons life.  I didn't know about intentionality, that you can choose to speak the truth in a fiercely courageous way to someone to edify them, without convicting self for being black hearted.  No one knows the power of the individual, I wrote this too in the entry...somehow, we do know the power of the individual.  Coaches see strength where clients feeeeel weak, there is a knowing that goes beyond words, the stuff of essence is only measureable by the heart.  Younger me was searching, older me is finding...seek and yea shall find.

Onward Ho

A metaphor came to me as I updated my homework for certification and I quite like it~people are no longer puzzles to be solved, they are presents to be opened!  Coaching offers the client the opportunity to open up, to themselves, in the presence of someone who is committed to their learning, growth and ultimately joy factor.  Powerful questions asked from a curiosity that is irresistible invite the client to verbalize their inner workings and in so doing, client and coach get an up close and personal view of what's going on in there!  Access can lead to understanding and what the client really wants in this one life they live.  Once the words are spoken, the invisible pull starts in the direction of actualization, a need to fulfill ones destiny can become a powerful force, and THIS is the point of coaching, more of the good stuff. The doing after the discovery of finding, moving forward, onward ho, is a beautiful thing.

Power Source

Today I had my triad call with two amazing pod mates. These are the people I am going through certication with and we practice coaching one another based on the CTI model we are learning and then we give each other feedback. I got some incredible coaching today, which means my coach listened to me, picked up on what was significant and important, challenged my perspective, and made sure the coaching was about ME.  Energetically, I can follow, I can also lead, but what I learned, again, is that it is in stillness that I am empowered. When I am by the peaceful still waters, my God whispers Truth in my ear, and I am led to follow Him, which always leads me back to the client.  I am the conduit, He is the power source, thankfully today I remembered this, and I am grateful.

Waves

Self confidence is an inner knowing, a belief in self that empowers one to do and say and live according to a clarity and vision that is like a driving force.  I have seen it in action, I have lived it and yet, it is illusive and temporary and as emotions wax and wane, confidence follows suit.  At this point, I am recognizing what is missing. Confidence is not taught, being careful is.  Be safe, be careful, watch it~this is the fear mantra that is repeated and taught until weakness is the driving force with fear as the fuel. Since starting coaching, I see others as naturally creative, resourceful and whole. In session, clients begin to see themselves in the same light, until they go to school, to work, spend time with family, friends or are alone, and then the thought monsters come and steal the peace away.  Riding the waves of humanity, the ebb and flow threaten to overtake me, thank goodness for tomorrow.

Exercise to Transform

Fitness releases some amazing power in people.  Movement connects us to what is important, what matters, starting with ME.  Starting with taking care of self, confidence builds and clarity becomes the bonus payoff. The body begs for activity and staying still kills it, and as the muscles atrophy, so does the soul...shrinking to a shadow of self.  Exercise only matters if it happens, talking about it doesn't cut it.  It's the same with coaching, the goal is to deepen the learning and forward the action, otherwise it is empty talk about possibilities, a leg less waste of verbal energy. The rosy cheeks, the afterglow of exercise gives a glimpse of the happy factor that happens inside the body after the effort. Coaching also requires effort, motivation for transformation, and it is through the doing that transformation is realized.

Shame

I have been thinking about shame as the lowest common denominator in the human experience. Since this blog is about the soul, I make the assumption that all who read it have experienced shame and in memory, relived shame repeatedly. Shame is like a sliver just beneath the skin, an undertone that is off keeping by its very nature, setting the teeth on edge and giving one the feeling of wanting to run, to hide, to make the feelings go away.  Shame demoralizes and devalues and is a soul sucker, stealing away greatness from would be should be confident and loving people.  Jesus was subjected, innocently, to vicious abuse to evoke shame, but He did not submit, nor did He engage. He knew Truth, and while He willingly submitted to His predicted fate, He never once submitted to the shame. Jesus knows the source of shame, He knows the Source, and in His Godly Humanity, He remains steadfast, dedicated to Glory and as my Perfect Example, Christ is teaching me that shame is not my teacher, it is my captor if I chose to submit. The Power within me is greater than the power without, this is Blessed Truth.

Perspectives

Self sacrifice without choice, or without the awareness that this is a way of life passed down generationally, can cause emotional shall we say, discomfort? We have all been taught how to be in the world, by someone. Unwittingly, we have all adopted perspectives and at some point or another, we come up against these perspectives and realize hey, is that how I really see this situation, this environment, this person?  There is a moment of reckoning, when perspective is questioned and choice becomes an option. In coaching, I have witnessed and experienced the moment when realization hits~the whatttttt, you mean there is another way to see this?  Sometimes this is painful, because with the dawning realization of new ways to see the world and a persons place in it, the client sees that the options were always there and that perhaps, the suffering endured was for not.  Coaching is enlivened possibilities with room to grow up and out from where you were first planted.

Michelle Young

I like the word genteel, because it reminds me of a time gone by, a Deep South kinda vibe where women were women and men were men.  There was a subtle flirtatiousness, a language of nuance, where eyes spoke volumes and expressions told it all.  I know someone who is the epitomy of gentility. She is charming and quick witted and elegant. What I like most about her is her compassionate heart~she has this fantastic vision of people and while she notices etiquette slip ups in others, she is perennially hopeful and forgiving, always looking for the best in the other.  My son asked me "who is charming" and my response was almost instantaneous, MICHELLE!  Some people are naturally love bugs, the salt of the earth, models well worth emulating...It just so happens I have one or two in my life and Michelle Young, this week you take the cake!  Thanks for the flowers and the song playing in my head...You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are grey...

Simplicity

I am at the half way mark with my certification as a CTI Co-Active Coach.  My view of the world has changed as I have progressed through the program. People are an interesting mix of crazy brilliance wrapped up in a jumble of messy circumstances. This is a fun perspective that takes me far away from problem solving, having to find solutions, being right in my assessments, for myself and for others. Things making sense, being put in order, is logical and lovely and easy to understand.  Messy is uncomfortable and awkward but is inevitable and so is the sorting.  I read a great quote from Beth Moore "thoughts are like laundry, some times you have to dump out the basket to sort through it". That's coaching!  The coach listens, asks questions, the client sorts, the coach picks out really cool insight for the client to look closely at, all the while believing, knowing that the client is brilliantly insightful in their own life and they just need someone along side to help them sort. There is obviously so much more to coaching, but for now, it's fun to see it simply and with a smile on my face, I know that at the half way mark, it's simplicity is beautiful.

The Word

When I compare myself to others, I become weak, insecure, faulty in my thinking.  When I see the gift that emulating offers, I become gleefully free, because I can follow in the footsteps of any and all of the greats in life, the ones past and present.   I have had some exceptional modelling from many real life influences in my life and as a super smart person, I chose to listen, learn and emulate!  My father used to say "a smart person learns from their own mistakes, a really intelligent person learns from the mistakes of others, and a stupid person never learns".  Sure, I make mistakes, and I am learning really quickly to jump back up, brush the dust off and carry on with my bad self onto bigger and better things. What I am really ready for is to listen to the invisibly offered wisdom, whispered in my ear.  The Way, The Truth and The Life has ALREADY been spoken, modelled, lived.  Cool, I don't have to reinvent the wheel, I can take the free trip offered me, offered to all.  The Word is my Teacher and I emulate Him.

Forgiveness

I am reading a book about being "centred".  This term has always seemed too new agey to me, too airy fairy and pie in the sky, perhaps because I am easily distracted?  Lately, I have decided to endure, remain in when the going gets tough.  I am practicing the art of "stay". Twice this week, I have been taken off guard because I have been told that my staying power was admirable. To hear someone acknowledge that they see what I have invisibly committed to is astonishing. It goes to show that when our outside matches our inner intentions, integrity of thought and action perfectly compliment one another.  Which brings me to my most profound commitment, to love even when it is not returned, to forgive because I was first forgiven. Yesterday, I held anger, resentment toward another, today, I go to bed knowing that the only way to freedom is through love, which concurs all, and as I forgive, I let go, I release the other energetically too and my do no harm love for her returns.

Love Denied

Relationship is a tenuous thing, especially when commonality is lacking.   I find I am currently challenged, wondering how to navigate relationship with another when offence is easily taken, misunderstanding abounds, and excuses and rationalizations are the default mode. Opening the door to communication can be almost an impossible feat when the other slams the door, attached to prideful stubbornness, a delight in being the wounded. I heard an expression, some people look to be offended, and this, I hate to say, is true, and is the root cause for dysfunction in relationship.  Clinging to our own truth, our own perspective is like living with blinders on and walking through a mine field.  We have to be in relationship as human beings and so, choosing to always see things MY WAY, excludes the other, keeps them out of relationship and ultimately, destroys any possibility of abiding connection. The one stands, arms open, waiting to embrace, while the other glares, turns and walks away...love can only survive if it is the reason to relate, otherwise, it dies a slow death.

The Key

What do you want?  This is an all encompassing question. When I ask myself this question, I have to focus on a topic. What do I want in my life?  What do I want in my marriage?  What do I want in my business, my friendships, my relationships?  In coaching, powerful questions are the bedrock, the foundational on which all else is built.  It's in the asking that something is stirred up, usually a buried longing begins to peek out tentatively, wondering, is it my turn, can it be that I will be listened to, will I finally be heard?  Once the questions have been asked and answers are given voice, the fulfilling can and usually does, begin, almost immediately.  If the question is the door, the answer is the key to unlock the door.  Once I ask and answer, I have already taken steps inside the former secret garden of my soul.

Matches and Words

Words are like matches, they can ignite a burning fire that has the power to help, heal or hurt. Matches are harmless when nestled side by side in their homey book. Words too, are harmless when strung together in out around down and up over there. The danger is in the careless, reckless, use of either. As coach, I am compelled to honour my client, be fiercely courageous for their well being.  This is a scary walking a tight rope experience, taking the risk in blurting the truth as it presents itself through intuition. Using the match metaphor, I wanna light a fire, a burning desire in the client to live on purpose, to feel the heat and feel compelled to move!  The intention is always to deepen the learning and forward the action.

My King

I'm busting out, breaking free.  I am an introverted extravert, a hermit crab emerging.  Part of me wants to stay in the safe haven of home, where I can choose what I read, see, eat, hear (almost-I live with people). There are places in my home where I can sequester myself and silently read, journal, pray.  When the urge to be alone comes over me, it is powerfully compelling and in the quiet, I hear my God...my Abba Father. The gift of hearing His voice, whispering Truth, telling me to trust in Him, that all belongs to Him, humbles me and the pain comes in the form of knowing that somehow I had walked away and proudly relied on myself before being recalled by Him. In the still of His presence,  I remember who I am, in His eyes, not in mine. He is far kinder to me than I am and as He loves me back to community, the shine returns as I glow from within, a fire rekindled by my King.

Now Is All That Exists

As I grow spiritually, I suffer emotionally. The two seem intrinsically entwined, woven together. Growing pains. Ego pridefully rears it's ugly head and demands that I stop looking so closely, stop digging around. It tells me I am up to no good and put that stone down, nothing to see under there. I ventured out as infrequently as possible in the last two days, feeling vulnerable to the influences of the outside world.  My desire, my longing, is to let go of all bravado, all vanity, all ego driven thought, behaviour...it is in and amongst others that this side comes out and self mastery is my goal. To live and love freely without expectation or hopes of its return. To work and play all in, without fear of having wounded or being wounded.  To forgive and be forgiven, never again looking back because now is all that exists.  Now is all that exists. 

Power vs. Force

Naturally, we are truth detectors, and there is a book to prove it, called Power vs. Force by David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D.  Based on kinesiology, the author establishes how we humans are able to test for truth, calibrate it, physically. If something is good, pure, wholesome, healthy for us to eat, think, believe, our bodies become strong in the testing of the item. If an item, thought, word, name, food, belief is evil, vile, harmful in some way, our muscles weaken. Energetically, we are BRILLIANT!  This news is incredibly freeing because it removes judgment when we react negatively to the many influences in our lives or more specifically, to some of the people we encounter or even, dare I say, live with?  People weaken us...this is a profound truth, undeniable. This said, the attractiveness of the opposite is lusciously seductive, people strengthen us...how???  By being good, pure of heart, kind, loving, gentle, generous, compassionate, understanding. Look around you, who are YOU?  Are you someone's kriptonite or one of their greatest sources of encouragement?  Do they see love in your eyes when you glance their way or distain?  It is always and forever a choice how we impact our fellow man. I feel the power, the strength in the choice, now as I share this truth. 

Humility

Today I attended a 7 a.m circuit training class. While the class was a challenge, my ego was a bigger challenge. As a personal trainer, I find it hard to take orders from another trainer, and while I am not competitive, it is all I could do this morning to NOT say, I'm a trainer!  Hahaha, humility is so lovely, so admirable when I witness it...why oh why do I struggle so much to submit, subvert, say "down doggie, DOWN BOY" to my ego, vanity?  It is so much easier to see myself as the expert, to hide behind bravado, rather than accept the offering from another. Coaching has turned me into a student. I am looking at others intently and more so, myself.  I love the days I have nothing to prove, to myself or anyone else.  Those are the days I live with others, and not in comparison to them.  Magnificent humility, come hither, I await you eagerly.

Earl

This morning I spoke to Earl, a retired police officer with personality. His stories are always entertaining and today's story did not disappoint. I mentioned to him that my training partner was always earlier than me in getting to the gym and he began telling me about his wife being born 15 minutes late.  He then proceeded to tell me that since he had been a cop, he always had to be early, which led him to the curative measure of tricking his wife-he would tell her that they had to be out the door for 8:30, which meant she was ready for 8:45 and they would arrive on time for 9.  Somewhere in the telling, I was delighted to hear him say that instead of getting mad at her, he created a way to make the situation ok for both of them, and of course, their long term relationship.  This playful accommodation of one another has persisted, and he proudly told me of a similar story spinning ability that his wife possesses.  This man has joy, playfulness, a fantastic sense of humour and repeatedly, he chooses relationship over fighting about being right and holding ground.  Earls timing is perfect, especially when he is joking.

A Spectacular Day

Today was a spectacular day.  In the morning, I was Personal Trainer, in the afternoon, Co-Active Coach, in the evening Flirty Girl Dance Instructor.  I am blessed in so many ways. The thing that strikes me at this late hour in the day, is how awe struck I am by the women I encountered and worked with today. My newest coaching client is 73 and she has a gorgeous resilience and vitality that sparkles in her eyes.  She sees others with the eyes of love; she sees past the messes and behaviours on the outside and sees the human inside the sometimes crusty exteriors. This is the highest form of being, loving the human, the namaste of relationship. As coach, I was moved to tears, because she lives the coaching model in her vision of others, that each person is of value and each person matters...everyone is naturally creative resourceful and whole.

Choosing Magnificent

Once a month for the six month duration of my certication course as a Co-Active Coach, I willingly submit a recording of a coaching session with a client (with the clients signed approval) to be reviewed by a CTI supervisor. I listened critically to a couple of recordings this morning deciding which seesion to submit and considering the possibility of completing one more before supervision, something a little more "polished".  In the listening to the recordings, I could hear where I had gone astray as coach and my inclination is self preservation or more accurately, I am inclined to look good and get compliments, rather than corrective feedback.  My struggle between ego and eargerness to learn held me captive for a moment and then I decided, the learning would be the prize for being vulnerable to another hearing my hits and misses in session. I am paying a huge sum of money to be taught a tried and true model, a model road tested for its worthy first place standing in the realm of coaching. I am always at choice to get every once from the experience to be an amazing coach, or chose the mediocracy of just ok or good enough by resisting the pertinent information that will help me grow into magnificent coach. When I hire a coach, I go for magnificent...if it's out there, I want it.

Doug Dakin

All healing is self healing, with facilitation, in community. This morning my dog and I headed out for a walk. It was a little chilly and I was slightly underdressed but I chose to walk away from the rising sun, knowing that I would walk toward it and the welcome heat at the end of my walk as I passed through the park. I asked God in the first few minutes of our outing to help me pray, to put the people he wanted me to pray for before me. My fear is always that I will forget someone, leave them out, but he reminded me that HE forgets not a one.  A man I love came to mind as I rounded a bend in the path in the park, he is dying.  The Son now shining on me in the park, nearing the end of my walk, the words "all healing is self healing" came to mind, followed by the offering, from the Great Physician to "come, follow me". He knows our need, He knows our pain, He knows what medicine will cure us.  My friend knows Him, and he is witness to the powerful healing and curative love of Christ, as he takes daily faithful steps Home. In dying, he lives. This is dedicated to my saintly friend, Doug Dakin.

Survivor

I love the show survivor.  What I love most about it is seeing the different personalities, and seeing who the participants are in snippets. The really intelligent ones model Co-Activity and the not so evolved souls display less than attractive behaviours, causing friction and dissection. The premise of the show is very base, pitting human against human, with greed for prize money being the driving force at the expense of many compromising their own values to possibly win. Only one winner means many losers, and this too is a heightened and base theme. The glorifying of money and winning at all costs is a sick game, but when I see people rise above the game, unwilling to compromise who they are, it is delightful.  This is the whole point of coaching, the willingness to be uncompromising in the belief that each human has a super human inside waiting to be noticed, acknowledged and invited out to play...games are fun, especially when the end result is in aid of growth, not tearing someone down.

My Pack

I have a newer friend, Janet Rouss~it is a budding friendship that feels comfortably familiar, hummmm, like I've done this before...I got an email from her recently and it sent me into happy puppy tail wagging mode. When I shared this with her she simply said, "that's your tribe". My son recently got a second tattoo, of a wolf, with blue eyes, feathers and beads.  Each selected item has significance.  He explained to me that the "lone wolf" idea is a myth and that wolves are pack animals, sharing a brotherhood of loyalty and when a wolf finds himself alone, he will howl to his brothers, calling out so that they can reunite. I have called myself a lone wolf as entrepreneur for many years.  It is in coaching that I have found my pack, my tribe, my people and I know them when I see them, when I hear their call, because it does something to my heart.  When my heart flips, skips a beat, I know I am not with my pack.  When I'm with my own, my heart fills to overflow and the joy seeps out unstoppable and they know who I am, and I know them too...to my pack, I call out a howllllllllll, and they appear, ready to be united.

My Super Hero

Today I got dirty!  My husband, girlfriend, her husband and I completed an Extreme Warrior Challenge in support of Jessie's Journey. It wasn't the hardest obstacle course event I have participated in but it was my first with my husband. We dressed up as Super Heroes, and wore capes and masks and matching T-shirts. We climbed over walls and up hills and under logs and crawled on our bellies under army netting through creamy delicious mud!  It was adult play and the atmosphere was amazing~fun was the name of the game.  Choosing to be big kids, 800 people decided this event with friends, co-workers, family and perfect strangers, was the place to be. I want more.  Fun is always a choice and a gift, to those who are willing to play and be playmate.  My husband is my perfect playmate, and my Super Hero. I love you Paul Byers.

The Son

As of 4:11 yesterday, that is to say, Friday September 20th, 2013, I felt done for the first time in a long time in my adult life.  I had a full productive week and my last call of the day was my own personal coaching and within the session, I sought and got, clarity. When I hung up, I had that great, it's Friday feeling and with it, some real satisfaction of a job well done, and by this I mean finished.  Nothing pending, no sense of doom with something left undone. This is a unique feeling for me and as I contemplate this sense of completion, I feel and know the freedom it extends to me. All in good time comes to mind and a clean simplicity that is shimmeringly pretty. I slept in, nothing pending, I savoured delicious coffee, no calls to make, I sat for hours writing my book, no emails to read, and I ate my lunch, no place to rush off to.  The ancient Israelites had their day of rest, their Sabbath, on Saturdays and I made a conscious decision and stated as much to my husband that Saturday is my Sabbath, my day to honour God and His command to rest.  Modern day Christianity takes Sunday as the day of rest and I can appreciate this, but it is Saturday for me and I like this more, as my choice.  Too busy means nothing, busy is a constant.  Choice, now that is where the power lives.  As I write, the sun is shining brightly, directly on my iPad.  How is it that in a sky full of big fluffy clouds, God has decided to shine His light directly on my words?  He sees all, knows all, and loves all that acknowledge Him, on their day of rest. The Son shines brighter than any star in the sky, and I feel His presence and bask in His light, I am blessed.

Glorify

The evolution of the soul can be excruciating, or delightful or sometimes surprisingly silent. The squeaky wheel gets the grease and so, whatever comes from the mouth is a clear indication of what is beneath the surface or as the bible says, what is in the heart. This simplifies the whole human experience, if it is permitted.  What?  Can it be this simple?  If it were, Co~Active coaching would not exist or be necessary.  When I was a U.W.O student, philosophy was my highest mark in first year and deeeeep thinking and brooding were painfully homey for me and so, I followed this easy fit and studied more philosophy. The homey feeling persisted until I encountered full on angry atheism, then brooding became dark and my existence and purpose in the world was something to be questioned and I fell into deep despair. My salvation from the dark night of the soul were the writings of St. Thomas Aquinas, and his five proofs for the existence of God.  This saved me from a despair that threatened to swallow me whole. Atheism is based on ego, personal resonance, what the atheist makes true. Christianity is the hardest choice in this life, because I sub plant me to honour another, my God, and in so doing I humbly submit, and strangers become brothers and sisters, in the family of God~doing unto others as I would have them do unto me.  In knowing Him, my existence has meaning, purpose, and I go forth, to glorify Him.

Witness

Honesty is the best policy, but telling the truth is an awkward risky kind of business.  Coaching doesn't really permit less than the truth.  Today I was in activation mode, using the fiercely courageous voice of coach in aid of clarity for my clients. I could be wrong, say the wrong thing, this is possible.  Something cool happens when I know I'm right, when I say what is meant to be said for them to hear and know, for them to deepen their learning and forward their own action.  The world disappears, including my peripheral vision, and all I can see are eyes and soul. There is a slight buzzing in my ears and a moment of frozen time.  I sit transfixed, waiting, and all there is is presence. Whatever that is, I will name it Truth alive, Truth experienced, Truth known and Truth felt.  Waiting, I don't know what is next, but I do know I want more of this type of experience because the client is changed, transfixed and living in Truth. I get to witness, beautiful.

The Giving

Today makes 100 posts...and I am contemplative. My mind is...slow, my body is...still, my spirit is...unresolved.  I had my 3rd and last supervision today with someone I admire greatly. It makes me sad knowing it was our last, because in the learning, I have been exposed in so many ways.  Standing naked, soul exposed, for my betterment as coach, in aid of service for the other, the client who wants so much to live fully alive, embodying their values, living from choice, being on purpose. I am half way through certification and I have so much to learn, and so much to appreciate.  Being fiercely courageous in the noticing and sharing means being at risk, risking relationship break or hurting the other. My supervisor took risks today, feeding me back what he observed and teaching me kindly, but adamantly, where I could be stronger as coach so that ultimately, the client gets what they pay for in time, effort and money, more of the good stuff, more fulfillment, more.  As I received his expert guidance, he asked me, is this too much, may I go on?  I wanted all he had to say, trusting that he would give me what I need, without persona or ego or anything to prove~he was teacher, and I am grateful student.   His kindness in the giving has left it's mark, and what is possible is the lasting impression.  He made sure I heard him too, as he championed me and acknowledged how far I have travelled thus far as coach.  I am blessed and grateful. My mind is...sparking with possibilities, my body is...energized, my spirit is...full of the breath of life. Thank You Lorry Schneider, for the giving.

Alice Saddy

Tonight I had the pleasure of attending a 40th anniversary. The Alice Saddy association celebrated 40 years of supporting adults with development disabilities. I am a board member, and while I believed I could contribute in some way when I joined the board, what I learned is that I have grown in so many ways from being associated with such an exceptional organization.  Each and every supported adult is seen as naturally creative resourceful and whole by ALL of the staff and volunteers. Persona does not exist in this egoless mini society, this microcosm of loving, generous, genuine kindness and love, a bit of Heaven on earth.  I have been supported; I have learned self exceptance and non-judgment, from being in and amongst some of the most beautiful human beings I have ever met. Alice Saddy, a legacy exists because of your love for those who most needed empowerment, who most needed to be encouraged and given support to live independent and productive lives...you left too soon, as your daughter said during her speech tonight, but I know your view from Heaven is far prettier than the one from here. 

Flubs AND Laughter

Laughter is the best medicine, so I have heard. By God, it's true.  While my coaching skills are kicking in and I am beginning to gain mastery, I still make errors, ask leading questions, and catch myself problem solving. Thank goodness coaching isn't magic and transparency is the rule, because I get to tell on myself when and if these deviations occur.  I get to tell my clients what I want for them, hope for them, envision for their future.  I get to take coaching seriously AND laugh at the flubs without torturing myself for not being perfect,  performing robot like.  Coaching is the most humane way of being, for the COACH!  If the coach doesn't have to be perfect, neither does the client, what a relief.

Grocery Carts and Glory

The grocery store is a beautiful place to study humanity in its full range. If we are what we eat, then a quick look in an unattended grocery cart can give us a quick look into the life of the shopper.  If what we eat translates, or manifests physically, than what does it say about what we think of ourselves, the world, our place in it?  Groceries tell the story within, and the grocery store is a place of choice~each time we choose our food for the week, we choose how we will feel, look, act, interact etc.  When we part with our money in exchange for product, we are choosing our own health.  God created us in His image, it is our choice whether or not we distort that image. Today, I chose to glorify God with my body, the temple He created that houses my soul. I am choosing health, and my grocery cart reflected that each time I selected an item to exchange for my money.

Genteel Ways

One of my all time favourite clients and I were talking during a personal training session yesterday. Michelle is extremely insightful and able to dissect what is going on with others and at any given time, what is going on within her. She has a rare and keen ability to see situations from all angles and then zoom in for a clear focus, naming "it", whatever "it" may be, and proceeding with the truth nugget from there.  We spoke about what she calls mummy mode. Michelle was driving on the highway, solo, and was feeling a little nervous, until her first year university student son got into the car, and then there was a shift. Michelle went from nervous into mummy mode, instantly transforming into protector, strong one, calm for the sake of others, in control.  This begs the question of choice. The strong mother instinct started well before her sons were born, it started in the womb, and the same instinct is activated instantly each time she is in a position of taking care of those she committed to taking care of. Here's the cool thing, in her letting go of her son (he has chosen to go away to school), Michelle overcame her mothering instincts to guard and protect her boy, in favour of trusting and knowing that he is well equipped to face his own world, protect himself, be at choice with come what may.  In the letting go, gradually, subltely, elegantly, Michelle empowered her son, and she is aware that in the letting go, she too is impacted.  Michelle is a gorgeous human being, an example to me as mother.  I love you Michelle Young and your genteel ways-xo Linda.

Peaceful Internal Nattering

Choosing peace.  As I was driving today, I realized that I could choose the perspective of internal peace and that I could choose it ALL OF THE TIME!  What I mean by this is that the internal dialogue is a warring thing inside of me, and today, instead of combating the voice with opposites, trying to talk myself out of the fight, I had a rush, a pouring over me of this Truth, that I could choose peace, not nonviolence, but the soaring free, flying high and amongst the clouds and sun peace that transcends the personal experience of the mundane details of my usual boring warring internal  nattering.  Yeah, that's it, if I'm gonna natter in my head, I'm gonna be the United Nations, and take a stand for peace!

Wally

I have a great friend, someone who does things by the book, someone with the gifts of patience and integrity, and so many more. He sees past and through barriers, he sees whole people, inside and out, and he believes in them, invests in them, accepts them as is. Sometimes, his patience works against him and currently, his patience is being tested. Yesterday we met for coffee and as he shared some heavy personal experiences, I listened...and it hit me.  He honours himself in his patience, with integrity, and he has a sterling silver reputation, he has always been kind of perfect. In the past, when he has told me about challenging relationships, I have counciled him to extracate himself from the mess, and this can be and has been, excellent advice. Yesterday, I saw him as naturally creative, resourceful and whole, and I suggested~get messy, it's good for you, you are always so perfect.  There was something in his eyes that told me that's what he needed to hear, somehow, I saw a glimmer of appreciation and relief. I didn't try to steer him toward or away from anything, dispite the suggestion, and an old pattern broke, and I too, am relieved.  In the messes, we find out who we really are. Much love Wally, your not so secret admirer.

Kiss of Love

I want the language of the heart to be my native tongue. Not everyone speaks it, not everyone understands it and I have to say, it is one of the most difficult langauges to learn with lots of nuance and subtlety and very few rules. You can speak love with your eyes, your hands, your feet, your ears, a nod, a wink, a smile, a knowing glance, a clear eyed stare...you can even use words.  Sometimes I am tentative with my love, unsure about the reception it will meet, mostly, I want to give and get love in a free flowing back and forth wave.  I want to love like my Master, My King, to give without the expectation of return or receipt~to love this way would be the ultimate freedom from fear, doubt, containment, restriction.  All you need is love, da da da daaaa, all I need is to give love, da da da daa. Each day I step out in faith, trusting that my love is enough, that I speak my native tongue with fluidity, and that those who have ears to hear, hear, those who have eyes to see, see and those whose hearts speak my native language, answer me with a kiss, of love.

Laughter and Delicious Truth

Do it all again!  I wanna do my whole weekend all over again~that's how it feels every time I come back from a CTI coaching weekend.  My vision for the weekend was that everyone would play in my bouncy castle, and everyone did.  I got to play, laugh with, learn from, listen to, some seriously brilliant and crazy mad silly adults.  Serious?  Yes, coaching is serious work, we coaches are serious about living life on purpose, with purpose, in an all-in kinda-heart-thumping-joyful way. That's how I want to live, and I want everyone I lay my eyes on and think of to live their lives out loud, resonating with what is good, right and true.  Paying to take the courses, paying the expenses to volunteer at the courses,  it is a pittance compared to the return on my investment.  I want to capture the expressions on the faces, the wonder and delight I saw, and the knowing that I witnessed that somehow, they had returned home.  In the playground of the soul, serious work invites all aspects of the human being to show up, with a full range of expression.  Laughter, that is the prettiest sound to hear, and as I recall my weekend, I can hear the glorious laughter again...and it always followed on the heels of delicious Truth.

Committed To Balance

My volunteer weekend for the CTI course Balance was amazing.  I witnessed transformations that were astounding.  Before my eyes, I watched as students became skillful masters of the balance formula, but more than this, I witnessed a coming into their own greatness as they dug deep into what had them stuck, what perspective kept them there, and how they could see the world and themselves in new, mysteriously creative and wonderful ways, unlocking a plethora of sometimes peculiar but mostly spectacular possibilities.  Today, there was a commitment ceromony, a crossing the line from stuck to sky's the limit, a saying yes and no to all that moves us forward and respectively, all that keeps us back, down, less than. The declarations, the claiming, were powerful, moving and in one instance, made me weep because of its power.  Each participant claimed a part of themselves before inaccessible, and I shake my head as I realize again, the privilege of having witnessed.  I too, after a long weekend, am committed, and I am complete.

Joy~Today

Coaching, coaches, leaders, front of the room leaders, learning, absorbing, listening, language of the heart the soul, wrenched, twisted, contorted, spun, unspun, stretched, elongated, elastic, spring, bounce, boundless, effortless, hopefully gleefully fully embodied joy...today. 

Bouncy Castle

Today was my first day of volunteering in a CTI course, Balance. As I listened to the students and their life purposes, I added a word to my own, it reads like this:  I am the invitation to the Truth in the playground of the soul...this must be said  will a deep voice that resounds in the body of the listener, for dramatic affect. One of the other volunteers and I stood quietly talking early in the day and he asked me a great question, something along the lines of what my vision for the weekend was.  I told Carlo that I saw all the students in a bouncy castle, my bouncy castle, because I wanted them to have fun.  He added to the metaphor and said that some people jump right in and bounce around, others tentatively and gingerly take steps, some would enter, leave and re enter and some would never go in. At the beginning of the day, I had resolved to behave myself, not be as kooky and playful but after encouragement from my fellow volunteers, I threw this idea out the window and I decided to not play safe, to have fun, and be my full on self, and I did my own form of bouncing around in the playground of the soul, and I HAD FUN!

Power of Heaven

Asking powerful questions has helped me tap into the Power of Heaven. Socrates said "all I know is that I know nothing". I love this line because I too, know nothing, but not in a self depreciating and false humility kind of way, but in the sense that I have no clue what is going on in the heart or head of a client until I ask a question based on what they say...It feels like I was playing pin the tail on the donkey coaching before, as I searched around and tried to figure out what was going on over there, in there, with the other. Now, I get to be curious, ask questions and wait with baited breath to hear the answers!  How glorious, because the answers are more spectacular and powerful than I could have imagined or come up with~people really, truly, supremely and ultimately are, naturally creative, resourceful and whole....ahhhh, life is good and Heaven is really pretty. 

Process~I'm in Process to Become Masterful

I am in the midst of full on coaching certification and I grin as I type this because as I learn the art of self management, I also learn the art of masterful coaching. Self management is elusive, with ego rearing its bossy head to be acknowledged, petted, revered for its clever clarity and smartness. I am in the module called Process, one of my all time favourite deepening and forwarding coaching methodologies.  In Process the question is "what can't you be with".  When the client begins to answer this question, they get in touch with the very ideas or feelings that impact their daily lives, with or without their conscious acknowledgement. It's like the tail wagging the dog, whether we like it or not, what we don't want to deal with somehow always finds a way to be front and centre.  During process, clients can get emotional and as coach, I am responsible ONLY, to the client, and in this responsibility, I must hold them as naturally creative, resourceful and whole...this means that when they cry, express anguish, fear or even joy and happiness, it behooves  me to let them, encourage them, and know that in the end, they will have their own experience, survive and thrive, without my two cents worth.  The coach is the guide on the side, invited for the ride...ok, that is cheesy but its staying!