Now Is All That Exists

As I grow spiritually, I suffer emotionally. The two seem intrinsically entwined, woven together. Growing pains. Ego pridefully rears it's ugly head and demands that I stop looking so closely, stop digging around. It tells me I am up to no good and put that stone down, nothing to see under there. I ventured out as infrequently as possible in the last two days, feeling vulnerable to the influences of the outside world.  My desire, my longing, is to let go of all bravado, all vanity, all ego driven thought, behaviour...it is in and amongst others that this side comes out and self mastery is my goal. To live and love freely without expectation or hopes of its return. To work and play all in, without fear of having wounded or being wounded.  To forgive and be forgiven, never again looking back because now is all that exists.  Now is all that exists.