Disarmed Defence Mechanisms

Reaching with its rays

This morning the sky has thick grey fast moving clouds, decorated with tinges of pink. I am at the back of my house while the sun rises at the front and yet, the pink is colouring the houses behind mine. The sun has a way of reaching with its rays, pronouncing its presence, and bringing gladness to the heart of the observer. 

Today, before reading scripture, I had a request of God. It isn't the first time I asked for this gift, and over the years, He has granted me it. I am the one that reneges on the freedom He has bestowed over and over again. 

Fallacy in my thinking 

There is a tension between what I want and what I believe protects me from injury. Clinging to old ways is easier sometimes, then giving them up and consequently, experiencing some ego bruising. I am seeing the fallacy in my thinking as my faith and dependency on God's wisdom grows. 

What have I asked for? I have asked, once again, for God to remove my defence mechanisms. At first blush, this seems a dangerous request, almost as though I am asking for naiveté, or vulnerability in a predatory world. This does not appeal to me at all, and since we have been told repeatedly that fight or flight dictates our reactions in threatening situations, this would seem a foolish request. My intention for asking this of God is to remove my self-protective reactions to what I perceive others may be thinking or saying, so that I can clear my own emotional decks, and see them more clearly. I want to be utterly other focused. 

Sharpening discernment

In the asking, I was specific with God. I want Him to disarm my defence mechanisms, while increasing and sharpening my discernment. THAT, dear reader, is a really exciting combination! Seeing other without trying to protect self, is freedom. After my short journal entry, I looked to scripture, and as usual, the tears began to flow, because God had an answer to my spoken and written request, long before this moment in time.

Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage (Galatians 5:1)

Years ago, in coach training, I crafted a life purpose statement. During the exercise, we were asked to allow images to surface, not question them, and see what developed. These were wonderful instructions for me, since I had self edited for years. Many of us early on had our creativity curtailed: learning to imagine once again, is some kind of wonderful! 

In coaching I discovered that my thoughts were fertile and could be free to roam. More than this, I learned that trusting in the images that appeared before me to help me write my first life purpose statement was wise. The pictures that presented have served me well and today, I revisit my experience with you, dear reader. 

Here is my life purpose statement:

I am the spear of truth that breaks the chains of bondage to set the captives free in Christ

What brought me to tears this morning is the I am part of this purpose statement. I recognize who the I AM is. God is the I AM ... He is the One that breaks the chains of bondage as the Truth. He is the One that sets captives free, in Him, in Christ.

My desire nine plus years ago, was to be the spear of truth to other, so that they could be set free from the chains that bind them. I knew then what I know now, Christ is the chain breaker, jail door opener, soul Saviour. 

When I look at Galatians, quoted above, standing in my liberty includes not being affronted, not being offended, not taking personally what others say and do, because all is fleeting and not everything is about me, not everything is about you. Everything, all of "it" is about God, and us longing to be like Him, little replicas of His Son. 

Christ has set me free from the bondage of believing that my fight or flight reactions dictate my responses to perceived or real threats. Defending myself is not my job, discerning is. I am determined to discern what God's will is, and make my moves from there, free as a grey fast moving cloud, tinged with pink rays of light. 

Seeing the darkness does not mean I have to be a part of it ... Light is all that matters.