Soulful Sojourns

Skewed

I woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning, raring to go with what I had hoped, was the second to last bout of editing for my book, Shepherdess. I have invested an extraordinary number of hours formatting and editing the 144 stories and today, I was just past the half way mark, when one too many keyboard taps brought my work to a screeching halt. Try as I might, I could not undo what I had done. The more I tried, the more skewed the pages became.

Rectify

In utter despair and frustration, I decided crying would be the best solution to my distorted work dilemma. I thought the best place would be in the shower, but as it turns out, the closet was my pleading with God, and shirt soaking location. He has fixed so many things in my life before, that I just knew, a little book editing difficulty wasn't going to take up too much of His time and talent to rectify. 

With the irritable tear shedding, I expressed some pent up exasperation, and appreciation too! A sign of the times, isn't it, dear reader? 

Here is the dichotomy: 

1. Freedom fighters are taking on tiny tyrants with massive self-aggrandizement psychosis. Narcissists everywhere are surprised at the keep on trucking commoners, that dare to challenge their kingly corruption. 

2. Freedom fighters are being maligned and attacked by predators that used to be prey. The victims that fell head long into the lie pit, are in emotional and psychological crisis, as they suspect wordlessly, that they may very well have given up their health and life, for a lie sold to them by murderers. 

While we celebrate, encourage, and rally as a collective world wide with the truckers, we despair and sorrow over the lovies that got slaughtered already, and those that have yet to suffer the full consequences of their own self-betrayal. 

• Imagine waking up one morning, and realizing that you trusted complete strangers that perpetually lie, to inject you with something they pretended was safe, effective, and would preserve your life 
• Imagine knowing that you walked to your own suicide shots, and brought your kids along with you for injections too 
• Imagine comprehending for the very first time, that you were a coward, and instead of saying no when you wanted to, you said yes, and in doing so, your life is irreparably damaged 

The delusion is great and grand, and so many have given themselves over to being deceived, that they have no clue what truth looks and sounds like anymore. Dare I say that liars always are, liars? If a person is inclined to twist the truth and they are comfortable with it, then they are also comfortable with the lies others tell. Misery truly does love company. 

It is ONLY when we recognize how despicable deceit is, and when we see ourselves as abased in the lying, that we can snap out of the stupid stupor, and attempt to live honestly, with ourselves and others. 

Truth is definitive and singular

Sin is rampant and all inclusive 

I'm a sinner, he's a sinner. she's a sinner, we're all sinners, wouldn't you like to be asinner too? Be a sinner, sin like a sinner, be a sinner, sin like a sinner: The Dr. Pepper theme song for sinners, made up while wearing a snarky grin, by yours truly 

Back to the closet

In my closet during the crying, I realized how focused I had been on completing the task of editing. While it had started out as a labour of love, somewhere along the line, the editing turned into an all encompassing full time job with lots of overtime. I had no idea what workaholism was, until this morning, when my work got interrupted and I had to full stop and regroup. 

And we are full stopped, dear one, and we are regrouping. 

• I went to my prayer closet when I could not fix what I had messed up
• I went to my Father for comfort when in little Linda frustration, I needed help
• I cried out for resolution as I visited the world in my mind and saw the pain
• I laid it all down at His feet and asked him to fix it, knowing only He can

That's what a sinner turned saint does. They stop the lying and start speaking to Truth, knowing that without Him, the self-betrayal is what will really kill us.

I realized that as I refined by book for readability, I hadn't been writing anything new. I had become reclusive and neglectful of relationship with my Father. Dear one, there is nothing like full stop and a shut down, to force a person to consider what matters most. 

Glorifying God is what matters most

When I resumed editing, I realized that as I listened closely, God suggested I move a picture here, or add a thought or comma there. I started savouring the experience, and realized there is no hurry and no worry, there is time to enjoy and remember the why of writing in the first place. 

Life is a soulful sojourn, dear one. It is a beholding and becoming. Moving forward sometimes requires we stay where we are for a little while, to appreciate what is happening around us, and the impact it has on who we are and who we long to be.

Truth is definitive and singular

Sin is rampant and all inclusive

Choosing one over the other is a thoughtful process. Evidence of who we are shows up in what we say and do

Behaviour never lies