Airborne

Okay, here I go, being cliche...IM SO EXCITED ABOUT 2014!  After Christmas, there is a hush, a lull, an anticipation for what is just on the horizon, a new dawn, a new day, a new whatever comes to mind as the hour approaches, and a gear shifts us into a new year of possibilities.  A year ago, I took a huge leap, jumped feet first into the world of coaching. What started last January has changed my life.  When I glance backward in time, I see the faces of the front of the room masterful coach leaders...they knew where the student coaches were headed, they had seen the wonder, the confusion, the insecurities and the innocence of the novice many times before.  Like knowing loving parents, they witnessed eggs hatching, baby birds flapping their immature coaching wings, and fledglings leaving the nest for virgin flights, only to hit the ground, shake off the impact and try flying again. Today I grin, appreciating what I have learned, Ioving what is now and what is not yet in view as I trust my wings, strong and able, keeping me airborne. 

Lies in Disguise as Truth

Integrity is a seemingly illusive quality.  It shimmers promise and reminds me of a White Knight, in full armour, ready to fight the good fight, mounted on steady and powerful stead. It is an ideal, a form of perfection rarely sought after, a word thrown around that gets tossed to and fro, battered and clipped, pieces chipping off until it turns into something else, a shadow of its former self, a pseudo replica, a distasteful lie.  I love coaching, because of the ideal, the shooting for the stars as a human being.  Honesty is highly valued in the coaching profession, along with accountability in the coaching relationship. The spill over is to be fiercely courageous in real life, real time, integrating honesty and accountability into all relationships. It's not just about me, I change the world, impact it profoundly every time I chose to speak and be the TRUTH to others. They aren't just words, the Truth is a living breathing entity and it can help or hurt...it is a powerful gift or a weapon of destruction.  This is a warning, beware of those who boldly use what they call truth, as a guise for self serving, rationalized thoughts and the resultant behaviour, they are not speaking Truth, being Truth, they speak lies in disguise.  How and when do you know the difference?  Check your reaction, you know, you just plain old do...

Freedom

Reminder:  You are free from addiction. What if this flashed across your phone screen, unbidden, unplanned, a written note from a hand unseen?  A love note really, a reminder of freedom, 2 Peter 2:19 for you are a slave to whatever controls you.  It's funny, in a peculiar way, to write about freedom from my Canadian kitchen while sipping delicious coffee, it seems wrong somehow. I am so free that I can pick and chose what I do with my time, my career, my family and friends and other things...this is where freedom becomes dicey, because I get to chose my additions too.  Addiction sounds choiceless and in a world gone mad with narcissistic indulgences, addiction is presented as illness, a "oh the poor thing, something must have gone terribly wrong for them and they just can't help themselves" mentality.  Addiction is a convenience, at least it is for me, it is a checking out from responsibility and accountability for my abundant time, an unnecessary vacation from an amazing life. What am I addicted too?  Email, my cell phone, my iPad...all harmless, right?  Except when I do the one thing that God has commanded me NOT to do, and that is to love my devices more than the people in my life, and each time I ignore them for a device, it becomes a vice.  Huh, I just realized that vice is in the word device...a reminder perhaps?

Soul Food

I have a fabulous healer that I have worked with for years. She is intuitive and picks up on energetic blocks and than starts the process of healing by asking questions. The questions are within a time line and are a prompt for the client, for me in this case, to check out what emotions are trapped, what I am holding on to that does not serve me, that is an impediment to my peace, my unencumbered wholeness as a human.  Invariably, the lines of communication between my healer and my body and the soul it houses, are open. I too, am open, to being unstuck, unblocked, ready to learn about what I need to leave behind, let go of, forgive in another or myself so that I am available to the good stuff of which joy and love are made.  Sounds so other worldly, and of course, it is.  We are more than flesh and blood, we are spirit and today, the soul food I got was just what The Great Physician ordered.  This one is for you Cindy Palajac, much love. 

Time Stops and Starts with The Birth of Christ

A monumental event happened some 2000 years ago, time stopped............and started again.  The event changed everything for eternity and as predicted since the dawn of man, came to pass in the birth of the God child, Jesus.  Nothing and no one has ever stopped and started time, nor will they.  God as creator set the moon and the stars and their schedule in the Heavens and He alone gives us time, unstoppable, untameable, and undeclared. We don't know when life will be given, or be taken, and He alone determines the length of life. In the case of Christ, the time was awaited, there was and is awe, and whether one declares Christ as personal Saviour or not, many around the world celebrate Christmas and share a kind of love and affection unheard of at other times of year.  The past and the present are not so different. The calendar is marked by the birth of Emmanual, God with us, and every Dec 25th, mankind stops, all of mankind...check the stock market, mans singular claim to fame, it too honours The King. 

Me We He

From me to we to He.  When I became an entrepreneur in 1996, I went to work for myself. I figured if I provided excellent service, my clients would see me as hireable and worthy of the fees I charged and my joke, as a personal trainer, has been "I get to boss people around and they pay me".  This was the me part, the ego I can do it and I'm going to prove it part.  The amazing component when working with others closely is that relationships bud and grow and what was a business transaction quickly becomes a caring and loving of the one you work with. This is where the we comes into play. Working for the client and with the client on mutually agreed upon goals, changes from me as boss, to we as team.  Available in this type of relating is synergy, a connecting that brings joy to both parties.  Coaching has taught me that nothing is more powerful than a designed alliance, an agreement of two or more of what is and is not to be in relationship.  Each party agrees to play fair, with no one part being greater than the whole. This brings me to He...Christs mandate, His request, "Love God with all of your Heart, Mind and Soul, and Love one another".  Today I work for God, agreeing to His mandate, and it is good. 

Colours

Truth is everywhere and we all have access to it, not in a my truth is just as valid as your truth even if they are different kind of way, but in an honest to goodness measurable it really exists way.  For example, trees have roots.  We can not see the roots usually, but they are there.  Here is another brilliant truth, we breathe oxygen, I can't see it and I'm pretty sure no one else can but it's there alright, I just used up some while typing.  Truth becomes a subjective crazy intangible thing, when we have a perspective and someone, whether a perfect stranger or someone that loves us, smacks us out of it.  I'll give you a very personal example:  I used to live by the motto the best defence is a good offence, I didn't make this up, it was learned. It was a really great way to take care of myself if there was a perceived threat but a super lousy way to be in relationship.  Get them before they get me is the underlying sentiment and this one perspective can and does colour the world, maybe with a bit of red, if I were to pick a colour~fiery, others could get burned, would be the descriptor.  I have met many a kind soul who go in the opposite direction, lovelies who would rather be wrong and be responsible for the emotions of others by defending themselves when challenged or attacked emotionally, verbally.  This too, colours the world, perhaps in a shade of muddy brown, self depricating, you are right, I am probably wrong, would be the descriptor.  The truth part in all this is that others see us, know who we are based on how we are in the world.  In Power vs Force, truth is quantifiable, it IS science and we have access to the truth every minute of every hour of every day...sometimes we need someone else to tell us the truth, it is our choice if and how we allow, The Truth, to colour our world.

Selfish Ambition

Tonight I went to the grocery store. I saw there a little man, hunched forward with age in a well used body. It has been raining all day and he wore a coat, a rain coat, despite the cold air. I couldn't help but watch him as he picked up a box of chocolates.  I got distracted and looked away and without another thought, carried on with my shopping. I heard two people, I think a mother and daughter, calculating food costs...a group of three young university aged kids spoke about how cheap potatoes are.  In the last isle of the store, yet another couple compared prices and looked for the best buy, store flyer in hand. There was the little man, my attention was again drawn to him. He had in his cart toilet paper and paper towel, not one food item and definitely no pot of gold chocolate box.  As I walked tonight, rain pouring down, I wept and thought of "upward mobility", words I haven't heard in quite some time. It occurred to me that they are words that disguise empty selfish ambition. If I am upwardly mobile, than I can not see those around me for fear that I am them. What good is all I have, all I accumulate, if I have not love for my fellow man?  Oh selfish ambition, how dare you threaten my love for humanity.  

Rapids

I have the words to a song playing in my head:  rock the boat don't tip the boat over rock the boat...I don't know the rest but I am thinking that the song is informing me of something big.  What if I rock the boat, someone else's boat, and it tips and they fall out?  I expect that they might not expect this, and as they hit the water and go under, that they might sputter and splash as they fight their way back to the surface.  They might laugh at me for tipping them in and try to return the favour; they might get angry with me and curse me;  they might thank me and suggest that they feel refreshed and wished they had some shampoo for the sudden bath. The possibilities are endless and depending upon the circumstances, the relationship, the individual and their unique take on the world, it could be devastating or it could be one of the best experiences of their life. In coaching, coach and client climb into a boat, sometimes traveling rough waters. The coach has the oars and can powerfully steer the client into rapids, ones that threaten to catapult the client into the crashing waves...the coach knows the client will survive if this happens because they not only have the ability to swim to shore on their own, they also have a life jacket, the relationship, keeping them from going under and staying there.  Keeping someone safe from pain is not serving them, it is rescuing them from a truth they want to know, a truth that when exposed, can set them free. Julie Veitch, Mary Butler, Szos St Germain, Thank You all for this message...the third time was the charm. 

Tribes

Yesterday I was in an energetic funk and I searched for answers through reading, my book of choice was Tribal Leadership. I had set my alarm to go to a circuit training class and it crossed my mind to skip the class, but I knew I would regret that so I went and I was pleased with myself because I by-passed my inclination to let myself off the hook. The next task of the day was to shower and get ready for a networking meeting. I felt disinclined, not wanting to attend the meeting. I thought well maybe this is the same as just before my class, I will go because perhaps I will miss something important if I don't and will regret not attending.  I did an over ride of my natural inclination to not attend and this time, I wished I had listened to my instincts.  For many reasons, this group of people are not for me and I started getting that feeling two weeks ago. While each individual is lovely and talented and capable in their own right, they are not my tribe. It would require Herculean effort on my part to "behave myself", meaning follow the rules they want to establish to maintain "order".  Yesterday I spoke my truth, my sentiments about the structure and this caused a glitch in the system. If I continued in this group, I would quickly become the trouble maker, the anarcist, the difficult one, or I would learn to subdue, be quiet and closed off to protect myself from the disapproval of those being challenged by my questioning of the "leadership" and it's "rules".  We all have our tribe, the people who challenge us but see us for who and what we are without judgement.  Instincts and intuition always inform us about where we need to be and with whom.  The questions are: what are your instincts informing you about?  What is the price or cost in over-riding instinct.  In the instance of me going to the gym, going was good for me. In the instance of me attending the meeting, going was not good for me and perhaps, was worse for the others in attendance.  Here it is:  it's not just about what is good for me, it also matters what is good for others. Knowing this means I am responsible for my own feelings and thoughts and the impact they have on others. I am, and always will be, at choice. 

Love Notes

How often do you send love notes?  How often do you receive them?  How often do you feel love bubbling up in your heart, full and rich and aromatic, so much love that you have to share it because if you don't, you might bust wide open.  Lately I have received love, I mean really noticed it and appreciated it and received it, even when it comes in the form of correction. I used to have a little devil on my shoulder, chastising me constantly about what I shouldn't have said or done, what I should do, how maybe if I just stayed quiet, I wouldn't make so many mistakes.  Being good, or perfect in word and deed, that was the pestering prevalent persecution. Not anymore.  I wake every day and ask that my eyes see what God sees, my ears hear what he hears, and that I love like my Saviour, that I love like Jesus.  Who knew, that God would help me see me, help me see my own heart, help me love myself because he loved me first.  My friends, they saw me all along, they always loved me, it was I, and the little liar on my shoulder that were mean to me. This little heart of mine, I'm gonna let it shine, this little heart of mine, I'm gonna let it shine...

Bare Bum Spanking

Have you ever had a bare bum spanking?  I heard this term from my friend Ramona, and I laughed really hard. She was speaking of being corrected, for her own good, by God.  God corrects His children out of love...how can you do rightly if you aren't taught rightly in the first place?  I have had several of these spankings, from God, from friends, from family, from coaches. At first, there is a sting, a feeling of shame and than self recrimination, at least that USED to be my reaction!  I got called out by a fellow coach tonight, someone I respect, and I LOVED IT!  She told me it took her a week to finally be vulnerable enough to tell me what she was thinking. Wow!  She cared enough about herself, and my relationship with her, to express her feelings and thoughts and trust me to be big enough to handle it. Yeah, that's coaching for you.  We are reaching the close of certification and the coaches I love most care most about Co-Activity. Suzanne Gavin, this ones for you. 

Soil of My Soul

The unexamined life is not worth living. I borrow this phrase from where I cannot recall, it's truth speaking volumes.  There is an easy unconsciousness that we can all slip into.  The heavy lifting of old thoughts and patterns that weigh us down can be shrugged off, with conscious effort. Dis ease is a clue that there is a yet unnamed irritant, a certain something that wants to be noticed, spoken, altered. The heart is the seat of the soul, another borrowed expression, and when it skips a beat at a thought, it is sending a message that attention is required. That's how I know, that I have tripped upon a root of buried thought or feeling. Being aware, conscious, at choice and on purpose requires tenacity and willingness, the payoffs are strength of character, an integrated body, mind, soul, a knowing that this is the true meaning of life~a presence of being unmatched.  When I look at the root as it sits waiting on the surface, I am invited to go deeper, into the soil of my soul.

Why?

What you want to do with your life is important, why you want to do it is even more important. There has to be a reason, a why for your life. When I get feedback from clients, I take note what the impact is that I have on them.  This gives me a sense of the why part for what I do. I want to know that I make a meaningful difference in the lives of people I serve. I want to know that after they have been in my presence, and me in theirs, that we have shared something significant, something life altering, something bigger than just a passing of time. Why do what you do if it is a slow death of sameness, a giving away of self for yesterday's repeats?  If this is "it", how satisfied are you?  Will you be okay if five years from now the same is all you have?  When feeling into this question, what would you change, chase after, and why?  

Say it and make it so

Setting intentions is powerful stuff. I participated in my final pod call today, an almost six month investment in my education as a Co-Active Coach. At the beginning of the call, my fellow students and I were asked to recall what intentions we had set at the beginning of certification.  Looking back, I see that what I set out to accomplish, I did.  To solidify this learning, our program leader took us through a visualization, a look to the future view of who we will be as coaches. At one point, I saw a stack of cards from clients, and inside, the words of Life and Purpose affirmed me. In five years from now, I will be more of what I already am, and some. We were asked finally, to make statements of how we see our future selves, and the gift that followed was a fellow coach sharing what they saw as a vision for the one that shared and also a longing that they had for the coach.  These statements were intention setting, now speaks to later, making knowing where you are going a possibility.  Say it and make it so.

Ash to Maple

In many a movie, trees have personalities and power. I have been thinking about trees a lot lately. What if all of nature in in sympathy with us, with human beings?  I heard a true love story of a husband and wife and in their back yard, two trees of different variety intertwined in an embrace for the length of their marriage. The couple would look out at the tree(s) and each knew which one represented them. When the wife died, so did her tree...Another story is that of an ash tree.  A woman started her career and a gift from her employer was a tree, one she could select. Her husband picked an ash tree, she wanted a maple. As time went on, the tree grew, spitting keys and making a mess. The woman was busy with her career and taking care of herself took a back seat to work. She became ill, and decided that her wellness was crucial and took steps toward healing. The tree became sick as work became a heavy burden...the woman was getting well but knew that if she continued to work, her wellness would be in jeopardy. She took courageous steps, claimed her life and decided to retire, the tree spit up black spiny balls, coughing up its sickness.  The tree died, the woman lives, strong, vibrant, ready for her blessed future.  Sympathy?  Empathy?  You tell me?  The tree started with her at the beginning of her career, suffered when she suffered and died just as she closed the door on a chapter in her life to open the next one. A maple, her favourite tree, takes up a place in her lawn and in her heart.  A sapling, a new beginning. The ash, it doesn't mind, it too, will renew, because seeds of it's life flew far and wide while it lived and loved.  Nature as nurture?  We need not look far to feel and know love.

KELI NETHERCOTT

If you haven't experienced coaching, then you just don't know what you are missing. I had lunch with one of my favourite people today, she is a Co-Active Coach. We met for the first time last January and became fast friends instantly. Through the core curriculum courses we grew in many ways and watched each other expand, break down barriers, protective walls that had grown, ivy and all, around our hearts.   Over the past year, we have shared our hopes, fears, dreams, worries, insecurities, doubts, faith.  We have exchanged ideas and tools and how to skills. Through it all, we have spoken our native tongue, the language of the heart, and love has grown. We see greatness in each other, because it exists.  We are both working our way toward certication and as coaches and in this process, we have learned to see, hear, name what is real and true and lovely, and what is not so real true and lovely.  Honesty is the hallmark of abiding friendship and for this, I am grateful~I LOVE YOU KELI NETHERCOTT in a scream it in the parking lot kinda way.

Teenagers-The Beautiful People

It is 7:30, Saturday evening. I sit in my car waiting while my son and two other teenagers go door to door collecting cans for food for a Scrooge campaign food drive that has been a tradition since I went to the same high school many moons ago...God bless them, teenagers are beautiful people. Christmas brings out the best in many and the fantastic in these teens. 

Completion

Two days ago I met a client for a completion session. Coaching had been intense with this client and for several reasons, it ended rather abruptly. Time passed and when we were in contact again, I requested completion. The concept of completion is a foreign one to most people and is not something taught by our parents or to our children, at least, it hadn't been taught to me, until coaching. Coaching is about relationship, a mutual understanding that clear and pure intention is the under tone or drumbeat that allows for honesty in sharing verbally, emotionally, always for the benefit, learning and forward movement of the client.  Not all coaching relationships end with warm and fuzzies and completion becomes crucial for both parties when loose ends need tying.  The challenge is to express the learning on both sides, to speak of things undone and well done and the impact they have had on each party.  It takes courage to speak and even more to listen but the gift of seeing the other as so valuable that you must share is priceless. Self protection, defensiveness, being offended, they stop existing when I give without expecting to get, when I share with love in my heart and malice has no voice. Completion is beautiful and best of all, I modelled this concept for my son, he used it with a friend and in video game speak he said "I think I levelled up in relationships today". Seeing past self to the other, expressing what is important for me in relationship and maintaining connection for the well being of two is a gorgeous way to live, Co-Actively.

Busting Out

What are you trying to prove?  There are two, count em two, huge words in this sentence. Trying is the first and prove is the second. I got coached today in a triad call and the word prove came out of my mouth. I am so thrilled to write this with a grin on my face because I realized I was TRYING to PROVE many things on many levels. When I first practiced coaching, I would try to prove that my intuition was right; when I tried to problem solve with clients, I was proving how clever I am; when I articulated what was going on with the client, I was proving that I am a good listener, you get the idea. Today, I realized that in all my trying, I was attempting to prove to MYSELF, that I could do it, whatever it happened to be, and also that I wanted others to see and know that I can.  Today, I broke free and I DONT HAVE TO PROVE A THING, NOT TO ME, NOT TO ANYONE!  Hahahaha, I am filled with joy, inexplicable, busting open freedom joy!  I  am coach, with all the bells and whistles, skills and talents. I am human being, full of grace and love for myself AND for the other.  Sweet freedom, the jail door has sprung open and I am busting out of the cell of self disapproval and trying too hard. Yippy for me and I thank my God for coaching.

Hide or Show Up

Talent hidden or unused is wasted. What if I am hiding my own, what if I check out?  I had a leisurely day today, nap included, and as I walked my dog I realized if I don't schedule activity, meaning some form of work, I take the day off.  I looked at this from a detached perspective, without emotion. In the past, I would have accused myself of laziness, that it is luxurious to nap and take life easy.  Today, I saw a different angle, a glimpse into my tendency to hide, sometimes distract myself from doing important work. I have a book I started, and it waits for the writing.  What will happen, or not happen, when I finish the book?  World book tour, TV and radio interviews, people clambering for my autograph?  Or maybe the book doesn't ever get published, it remains an uninteresting heep of paper with words scattered all over it, fire starter.  I guess I will never know, until I decide, hide or show up.

For The Glory

Playing favourites?  Have you ever played?  When I was growing up with my two sisters, there were a lot of comparisons made, setting us up for distrust in one another, petty arguments and fights, resentment. The comparisons came from the outside and were often said right in front of the three of us.  So and so is my favourite or that one is the prettiest, cruel and rude at best, these comments were made to make one girl feel special while the others felt thrown on the junk heep.  I weep now, at the realization that this caused us all much pain, and I am saddened at the thought that unwittingly, my sisters and I have born the scars and lived certain behaviours long into our adulthoods. The dynamic, the energy, the reactivity, the very existence of an embedded pattern shows up again and again, twisting and twirling in a dervish like dance, spinning out of control until...there it is, I can see it, I recognize the demented dance and I stop, dead in my tracks.  At almost 47, the lie of comparison is revealed.  Better than is broken.  Shine your light and let the whole world see is about self, not in comparison to another, but for the Glory of Him who made me.

Pete

Today in church a Down's syndrome man named Pete did his work as ambassador.  Each time he is well enough to be in church, my heart swells up with appreciation for the sweet little man. When the band is playing, he often turns to the congregation and lifts his arm high for all to see, orchestrating the singing. If someone becomes emotional, he calls out, "you alright?".  During service, Pete works the crowd, shaking hands with the people gathered.  Pete has many angelic qualities:  he works for God; he is a messenger for God; he is fearless, sincere, guileless.  Pride does not exist and he goes freely, offering welcome to all who see and hear the gift he generously wants to bestow. God gave him the gift of no self doubt, no indulgent thoughts of self preoccupation, as a perfect model of the love of Christ.  Pete is a living breathing portrait of Christ, pure of heart and intention.  I need only to look at Pete to be reminded to look up, and meet once again the gaze of my Saviour as He too, extends His hand in welcome to "come, follow me".

Spirits In a Material World

We are spirits, in a material world, are spirits, in a material world...these are lyrics from a song written by The Police.  I heard the song in a spinning class and it threw me back in time.  I used to play certain albums over and over again, memorizing them because the lyrics moved me, touched my soul with the Truth embedded in the music. I didn't know what the lyrics meant back then, I just knew that there was dissonance, a tearing of soul from body, a great divide of longing and than rudely, physical reality and spiritual reality. The soul, my soul, cried out for justice, Truth, honesty, generosity, genuine connection and Love...what I got and what I longed for without the ability to express it all at the time were two different things.  I now have the words, I am a spirit, a soul, housed in a beautiful body, God breathed, gifted beyond belief because He Made me.  His imprint is my blueprint, my soul celebrates my faith through my body, in song, in dance, in laughter, with love and a joy immeasurable.