All Grown Up

"How do you thank someone, who has taken you from crayons to perfume?  It isn't easy but I'll try."  These are the words playing in my head, they belong to Lulu, and the song To Sir with Love. I have always loved this song, it speaks of growth, from childish things of pleasure to grown up exquisite appreciation of the finer things.  Each stage is precious, with the learning happening naturally for the child and for the fortunate adult, there is a conscious awareness of growth, a knowing that childish things can be put aside and the savouring of the subtle more delicate and essence soaked "things" can and are felt, breathed in, uttered.  I was a baby coach, playing with the toys, the tools of coaching, wanting to grow up and be like my masterful counter parts.  Today, I am coach, a fully fledged grown up, with mastery of parts of me, a refinement of the skills and tools, and no longer playing at being a coach for the day I will grow up. This week, this very day, I graduate from toddler to adult...I did not get here alone, many held my hand as I stood for the first time, many picked me up and held me close when I fell, many watched as I took my first tentative steps and stood, hands clasped, hoping for me, longing for me to keep on going, believing and knowing I could and would and I am.  In the eyes and hearts and words and hopes of many, I have seen and heard who I am and who I am meant to be and I  weep with tears of utter gratitude for their gifts to me...my joy overflows, and I am complete.  Susan Morel, my Grace sister, this one is dedicated to you.

Without Regret

Yes, no, counter offer?  I challenge you to live your life based on these three questions. This is in my head today, the challenge. As coach, this yes, no, counter, is part of the designed alliance, something the client is told that is built into the relationship, without the coach being attached to the clients acceptance or lack thereof of the prooffered challenge.  The agreed upon mutually respectful position in this is that we are always "at choice" in relationship and clients learn, sometimes for the first time, that what they want, what they think, how they feel, really matters and they can say NO, even when the other is demanding a YES.  What I have taken note of lately, is how I make choices. I am naturally very energetic, and I have observed that I am led by my energy and then I choose...the after affect is that I ruminate and wonder if I had chosen at all?  Example:  a friend asks me to go to lunch, I say yes because I really love my friend.  I hang up the phone and wonder how will I fit my work in, the work I know I want to get done, and go to lunch?  In this scenario, energetically I was led in the moment by the others desire initially and mine as a linked appreciation for the invitation and the delightful company I will enjoy.  When I said yes to the invite, I said no to my work, and when I hung up the phone, I had regret, because in my desire to please my friend and enjoy the company, my value of work accomplishment was stepped on.  I have decided to slow down, consider the requests that come my way and decide, yes, no, or counter offer, and then give my energy permission to freely flow with the resonant feeling that I am doing what I choose, cleanly, purely, and without regret.

Come Follow Me

This is what I wrote to my incredibly loving and compassionate coach, Szos St Germain. Szos:  I spoke with a friend last night and realized that my saboteur wants nothing more then to see me chase my own tail. The devil wants me to stay off track so that I am self occupied, unable to focus on Gods will for my life. You have not allowed this, you have held me high, away from his slithering muck and lies...this is profound truth for me.  I want to continue to hold...hold...stay, good dog, grin, so that I can enjoy the peace and hear the quiet whisper of His will.  Thanks for keeping me here, where I need to be.  The great commission, Jesus' loving command, is to firstly, "Love God with all of your heart, mind and soul" and what follows is natural and beautiful, to "Love thy neighbour as thyself".

As my ears become unstopped, my vision clears, and my heart opens to my God, the devil has less and less sway in my life. My coach, he valiantly slays the saboteur each time he holds a purposeful vision for my life and in the after coaching, I hear the peaceful call of "Come, follow me", and I do.

Dance

I teach a dance class called Flirty Girl Fitness. When I took the full day workshop to get "Flirtified", I was at the back of the class with a friend, and this spot in the room was not conducive to my learning.  The instructor and many of the participants were dancers already, meaning they were either professionally trained or they already taught dance. As untrained dancers who loved to dance, my friend and I thought learning the moves would be easy and would come naturally.  Who knew, that the professionals, who making dancing look so very easy, learned choreography first?  Sure they do, I mean of course they do, but this workshop was my first peek behind the scenes of how amazing dance videos come to be, and how I too, can feel like I belong in a music video.  The instruction came from the ground up, feet first, with layering of the add ons of body and arms, right up to the head, and embellishments and flirty nuance being incorporated at a slowed down pace, and than taught at tempo.  Once a move is learned, the dancer can dance, without too much thought involved, moving freely from one dance move to the next with virtually no thought, only a cue from the instructor of what is coming up in the sequence.  The learner goes from conscious incompetence, to conscious competence, to the beloved unconscious competence.  In coaching, the desired "dance in this moment" principal is unconscious competence in its full glory, the free flowing move to move, step forward and back mirroring and seeing and hearing the other...it is the life blood of coaching and my greatest desire, to live and breathe namaste, to love so much that I feel and know the other and want them to dance in life, unencumbered, free and floating on the dance floor of their own life.

Blissfully Happy in the Learning

I have some work to do on my fit and finish (I wanna be a race car and drive in the fast lane, but I have had my cruise control on). This is how I described my coaching to a coaching friend tonight. I am, after all, a student of coaching, a student of life, and more expressly, a student of my own life.  Baby steps, big leaps, then a stumble and fall, sigh.  Thank you, most generous clients, for allowing me to cut my teeth, chewing on the teething ring of your life!  Hahahaha, I used to be kind of metaphor free but I have to say, I am enjoying the toying with metaphor. While coaching is a rich exchange, a sharing between two invested human beings, it is also very playful, forgiving, relentless in its pursuit of the very best for the client and the coach within the context of a professional relationship. I love when my clients feel empowered, decisive, compelled to move to action to make their life more resonant, more matching of their values.  Sometimes I fail them as coach, and the neat thing is, I can ask for permission to fail, a foreign concept in this image is everything world.  What I know is, motivation leads people to coaching, whether as client or coach, motivation to get unstuck, move forward, affect change or "be the change they want to see in the world" and this is more than enough to chew on, and enjoy.  Coaching makes me blissfully happy in the learning.

God Sees All

Today I experienced angst, a trapped or more aptly stated, entrapped feeling that had me resorting to old fight or flight patterns that have me vilify my would be attacker and have me scratch and claw the air with my self defensive words while sharing with my husband. My husband is an honest, modest, diplomatic man, and I asked him for help in dealing with the situation and with resolute calm, he gave me words to use to extracate myself from an uncomfortable spot.  As I processed the situation, I recognized my irritation was more about me, and less about the person I was vilifying.  The expression beware of a wolf in sheeps clothing comes to mind when I think of this person and so, I have a valid sensitivity with regard to the behaviour I was subjected to, but the heart of the matter, or perhaps the liver of the matter (that's where anger resides in the body, that bile place!), is that I had warning signs, that manipulation was afoot and that I was being used for the benefit of another with disregard for my welbeing.  It's the I should have know feeling that we ALL experience at one time or another in life and the when will I learn after thoughts and words that really get me every time. Inherent in this aftermath is a belief, an assumption, that we should be smart enough to not get tricked...but what I am learning, and this is the gift, is that most of us, me included, do believe in The Golden Rule, Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You.  I will not blame myself for being trusting, I will acknowledge that not every one follows The Rule, and it's a shame, and the accountability for this is all theirs.  This is for all the kind, loving people I know, who with gentle loving hearts, have suffered loss at the hands of less than humane people...God sees all.

Coaching Oops

Last night I coached a client and got a well deserved reminder of what is and isn't coaching. As coach, I must, and I mean must, see my clients as creative, resourceful and whole.  Coaching is a uniquely wonderful relationship, with an agreement that adults are responsible for themselves and capable of making healthy choices and working through tough spots in order to live a more resonant and purposeful life.  Last night, I went into problem solving mode, making suggestions that might work for the client, things I WOULD DO in HER situation. Hahahaha, the client looked at me and said "well that would work for YOU, but not for me", or something to that affect and it stopped me dead it my tracks!  How awesome is that?  I acknowledged the truth of her statement and congratulated her for sticking up for herself. It was a bitter sweet moment, gratifying and dumbfounding all at once...as coach, I had somehow failed and magically succeeded all at once. Within the coaching relationship, this client felt safe enough to point out when I was moving away from her, who she is, what she needs, and moving toward me, my need to solve puzzles (not problems), my ego, my need to be "right" or look good (smart).  My client IS creative, resourceful and whole and she will come up with new and innovative ways to go about life and make resonant choices for herself, I just needed a reminder and maybe, she needed to say it out loud to someone who wants the very best for her.  Oh coaching, how I love you, and want you in my DNA.

Not a Paycheck

I grin as I write this because I am recalling the laugher generated from my conversation with a newer friend and collegue, Ollie Clarke. Ollie compared early life to war, where trenches are being dug out and each of us dig our own hole, sometimes with the help of others~and I'm going to add, perhaps in a field not of our own choosing. This is a metaphor for career search and hunt and very rarely, in youth, are we encouraged to follow our dreams, since these most definitely will result in low pay and virtually no upward mobility, or so we are told, and this is where the fear is implanted, the fear that survival is the number one goal and then the lie that when safety in the form of food and shelter are secured, THEN, you can live the life you have always dreamed about.  This is a classic form of projection, and it started in tough times, war times. A parents biggest fear is that their child will not be provided for and so, they encourage education, entry level jobs, ladder climbing and promotion, and just barely living because not everyone can make it to the "top", pecking order is established early on and we, and our kids, have been herded along and unwittingly been taught to believe that this is all there is in life.  Here I am, grinning again, because Ollie gave me a beautiful visual, him in a dug out trench, taking a peek over the top, and realizing the war is over and he could look around and see what else is out there?  I pictured a gofer, curious, poised and ready for adventure, scampering out of the hole and running wild and free.  Life is an adventure and I for one want my baby gofer (my 16 year old!) to run wild and free toward life purpose, not a paycheck.

Kids and Coaching

Yesterday I experienced my first Skype conversation.  I enjoyed the experience immensely because it struck me as insanely advanced to be able to connect face to face with someone via my iPad and their computer...very Jetsons indeed. Technology aside, my conversation company is a Co-Active coach and we met within the CTI community. He lives far far away, in another land and yet, he is a stones throw away in so many ways. This was our first official conversation and it centred around coaching, our aspirations, both philanthropically and business wise. As we shared, it became clear that our love for youth, children and teens, is prevalent in both of our lives. As fate or energetic magnetism would have it, we have been drawn together by a common bond and purpose...the power of attraction is magnificent.  We also shared a belief, an observation that we are herded along in life, children in particular, without ever being asked what they what, what they dream about, what moves them and what they love. Coaching can change all that and it is part of our dream, as individuals and in community, to listen to children and encourage them to go for what they love to do in life and to reassure them that all else will fall beautifully in place, including finances, when they intuitively, naturally, instinctive go toward resonance and life purpose.  Head start coaching for youth, an Avitar future, where I see you and you see me for all our gifts, talents and abilities, strong, whole, purposeful...kids deserve this and more.

Breaking The Chains

Today I coached two amazing women, separately of course. What I learned is that there is a lot of unlearning required to be free; free emotionally, financially, even physically. I say physically because illness seems to follow closely on the heels of unrest, and fear is an unwanted companion that looms large and ugly in the imagination, a learned fear taught by overly protect parents or people in our lives that project fear or a reaction to circumstances that no longer exist. This fear grips and constrains and holds captive, a real living breathing entity that appears to make the decisions for the victim. Grip, constrain, captive, victim.  This is a fascinating scenario because inside each person there lives and breathes a thief, stealing confidence, security, peace. The battle rages until voice is given to the fears and then, something breaks, chains clang to the floor and the grip is no more. In silence there is suffering, in sharing bondage is broken. The thief tells lies and isolates the victim from community, perpetuating the loneliness of a fear that no one should endure alone.  The expression "it is never as bad as it seems" comes to mind because each time I coach or am coached, speaking fear never kills my clients and it has never killed me.  I witnessed today two amazing women, vulnerable, honest, concurring their own fears, stepping out in faith and learning that while fear can be acknowledged, they will not let it shut them up, shut them down, or stop them from living their lives in a rich and powerful way. Speaking their truths shut the liar up.

Hermit Crab

I see myself as a bit of a hermit crab.  This amuses me because I am by most standards, considered an extravert. I have a lot of energy and can work a crowd of strangers effortlessly, especially if I want to entertain myself~that's my wild side, my I wanna have fun and I'm gonna side.  But than there is the me that wants silence, isolation, limited exposure to extraneous none sensical small talk and when I walk my dog, I hope to be free of saying hello to anyone or coming into contact with someone I might have to converse with.  This sounds so anti social as I write it but it is truth. I heard about noise sensitivity years ago while listening to the radio and it piqued my interest. White noise, like the motors that hum or the lights that wurr or the sounds of traffic perpetually whooshing in the background can impair thinking, clarity, and for me, connection.  While most of the time I am a part of the busy constant ever present noise, contributing to its volume, there are times when I feel a shut down is eminent and I withdraw into my hermit like shell, unable to be in the mix, hiding from the world and in so doing, somehow self soothing and healing.  The world is forever turning and sometimes I feel it's spin with throw me far and wide and away into outer space...I write this, because it sounds whimsical and at this point in time, my feet are firmly on the ground and I join again the human race and leave my shell behind, as safe haven awaiting my next visit to quietude and restoration.

Blueberries and Barfing

Things don't always work out as planned...gotta hate this saying!  Yesterday I woke up with a heavy feeling in my head, the start of a sinus headache.  These headaches make me nauseous but I didnt feel too badly so against my better judgement, I took my mom and her friend blueberry picking.  Things always get worse before they get better...I hate this expression too because they did, get worse. I just giggled at my yesterday, because it is quite humorous when I picture myself, throwing up four times beside my parked car as my mom and friend finished harvesting blueberries and I waited, being their driver. My car is a standard, my mom doesn't drive and her friend can only drive automatic so I drove us home, dropped off moms friend and had to pull over twice to throw up.  We got home and the whole night until 9 o'clock continued in this manner.  I was supposed to go on my kayaking trip and instead, today, I have slowly shed the hangover like feeling of yesterday. I felt sorry for myself this morning and had a brief cry, for the loss of what I had anticipated as being a spectacularly peaceful and beautiful trip through woods and water and nature, meeting my Captain in Gods country, in the North. I am sad as I write this but there is something new too, a realization that I had today. In the past, when I have gotten sick (this is NOT the first time), I always looked for why and what I had done wrong, blaming myself somehow for getting sick. The judgement and self blame are gone, and I refuse to blame  myself for being ill~so many people are sick, healthy people that have done everything   "right", why not me too?  I felt again, as I have in the past during my owns bouts of illness, a deep compassion for the sick and dying, of which I am neither.  There is a man at my church, and he is one of the most loving men I have ever met, he is dying and this Sunday, he will give his story for the purpose of edifying the people there. I will have the privilege of hearing him speak, perhaps for the last time publicly, something I would have missed if I had taken my trip.  I'm still sad about the missed kayaking, but I feel much better today and I am grateful.

Shameless Promotion

Years ago, someone called me a "shameless self promoter".  I took this label with a grain of salt because of the source~a clever witty woman who tried out lines to see if they stick or how they impact others; the impact was that it didn't strike me as true, because that is not how I see myself, nor do I believe it is how others see me.  I am shameless, bold, audaciously vocal when I BELIEVE in someone and I go to extreme lengths to express my belief, sometimes at the expense of their discomfort. I'm not the only one. Today, I had the pleasure of coaching one of my new super bright coaching colleague friends during a supervised triad call. There is a review form that the call participants use to debrief and give feedback to the coach and evaluate how the coach performed based on the CTI model. The concrete feedback is a gift to the group, because strengths and weaknesses are clearly defined when each category is discussed and whether your role is coach, client or observer during the call, learning definitely happens. The supervisor asked me to give ONLY my solid pluses in each category initially, and this made me stop dead in my tracks, because rarely, if ever, are we permitted in this life to focus strictly, solely, purposefully on the solid pluses, the good stuff that we do right. I sat up tall and said ok and I honestly and shamelessly assessed my coaching based on the CTI model and promoted myself , in my own mind, my own heart, my own soul and then I spoke the words, giving myself a 7/10 rating overall.  Inge the supervisor encouraged me to be fair to myself and insisted I give myself this gift~she took a stand for me, when I was inclined to be a lot less kind in my own self evaluation.  Coaching, one of the greatest gifts you can get or give.

Bears

Bears.  Bears are on my mind.  I'm going kayaking this week and bears are dominating my thoughts.  Will I see one before he sees me?  We humans eat bear claws, will I be a bear snack in the even steven world we live in?  I wanna see a bear, I wanna hang out with a bear and even pet him, how realistic is that?  My dog is lying on my lap, maybe I can cuddle a real live furry bear...or maybe I will run for my life from a hungry bear that wants a piece of campy sunburnt meat.  Yeah, I know what is going on here, my Captain and my saboteur are battling for my rights to fulfillment and fear. My Captain speaks faith and freedom and filling up with peace and quiet and nature. My saboteur says stay safe, there is too much to lose, do you really want to be EATEN?  My saboteur has made this kayaking trip into a dangerous, life threatening non essential endeavour but I know better. I know that when fear rears its ugly head, I am on the cusp of some great adventure, some beyond imagining learning that inspires me and makes me glowy with joy. I will go and meet my Captain in the woods, and on the water and I will see Him in the stars and the suns rising and setting...faith wins, fear loses its grip and I truly live.

Rooftop Coaching

During one of my coaching courses, my colleagues and I decided to coach one another. It was summertime and we looked for a private space to coach in but couldn't find one. We ended up, I say this tongue in cheek because it is such a beautiful oxymoron in this case, on the rooftop of the Hyatt in downtown Toronto, the hotel our courses were held at.  There were five of us and we decided on the format of the coaching, which in coaching terms is designing an alliance or agreement, and off we went. We did sandbox coaching, with one person being the client whilst the others take turns coaching. This is a daunting experience for the coachee at first but given the loving intentions of the coaches, safety is quickly established and the coaching can be mighty powerful.  Each of us had a turn as client, and each felt the gift of being heard, acknowledged, encouraged and moved in knowing that we were not alone.  We had learned to be fiercely courageous for our clients, to believe in them without limitations or doubts and we shared this fierce courage with one another.  We were somewhere between heaven and earth, able to look down and see ourselves falling, able to look up and see ourselves flying, in the eyes of our beholders.  We coached one another in our novice and unique ways, making mistakes and hitting the mark and alternating between the two as we played in our sandbox and all the while, we knew we weren't playing, we knew that we were changing ourselves, each other, the rooftop, the world.  A moment frozen in time for me, an intimacy that comes from soul brushing, that was my rooftop experience of coaching.  Much love to Keli, Penny, Vicky, Julie, my soul playmates.

Listen...this is important

Humility is a beautiful thing but if it doesn't serve you, what's the point?  There is a fine line between humility and self deprecation. Many many years ago, I wrote a list of ten things I liked about myself, ten things I didn't like about myself and ten qualities I admired in others and wanted to have.  No self help book required, this was a self generated exercise and one I have used for many teens when I have had the good fortune of working with them. My discovery?  People engage in self loathing and have no clue of their worth or their possible impact on the world.  Speaking loud and proud is for the confident, the over achiever, the bold and outrageous,the ones that have something to say.  I want to hear from the modest, the kind hearted unheard, under voiced lovelies whose hearts beat in tune with  Gods, the ones who choose kindness first and always, even if it means that they are never heard because they refuse to offend, impose, insult...kindness first, what a rare ideal.  I speak loud and proud, God has give me voice and I will scream from the rooftops that ALL, EVERYONE, deserves to be heard, even when they don't speak, even when they whisper...listen closely, the quiet ones have the most to say.

Love Is

I heard an amazing line that hit and stunned me to full attention and appreciation for its pure truth. This is from Steve Furtick, pastor of Elevation Church "if the size of the vision for your life isn't intimidating to you, there's a good chance it's insulting to God". Man alive I love this!  My deepest brightest desire is to live fully, with purpose and meaning and an abundance mentality and to love like Jesus. This has been a tall order in my life thus far, especially the love like Jesus part because this means the walls must come tumbling down.  The walls of serpation and misunderstanding and self protection and and and, whatever walls block me from seeing, feeling, knowing the other and what makes them unique and precious and purposeful.  Jesus loved people when and where he met them, he could see the big and small of them and even though he knew them before they knew themselves, he always saw all of them, their capabilities and strengths living somehow cohesively with their inabilities and weaknesses.  The All Knowing Almighty sees all as it is, the good the bad the ugly and loves anyway, most of the time without the reward of reciprocation.  God led me to coaching and it is because I want to love like my King, love now, not when the other gets it, behaves better, does as I would do.  Coaching is a gift to the coach and it reinforces age old biblical principals "Love is patient and kind.  Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand it's own way.  It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."  How can I go wrong when love is my goal?

Enough

Not enough, I'm not enough, I don't have enough, I'm not there yet.  This is what I say, what I hear, what I see, the not enoughs, then I SNAP OUT OF IT!  Oh not enoughs, you don't have a choke hold on me that I can't break out of.  As soon as I feel the lanky, long, slithery fingers slowly wrap themselves around my throat, I grab hold of THEM, rip them off and scream NOOOOOOOOO...thats on a really great day.  When I speak self doubt, self deprication, it is the cruel voice of the not enough and as I coach and am coached, I hear this lying voice come from truly magnificent human beings, people who are kind and loving, healers in their own right.  In coaching, the voice(s) are labelled saboteurs, in the bible, they are demons. No matter the label, the voice is a liar, a misrepresenter and twister of the truth.  In the here and now, I am perfectly imperfect, but I am enough, even as a student of life, I have gifts to offer, truths to tell, and a serving heart that makes me more than enough.  My God, my King, speaks truth to me and tells me "I can do all things, through Christ, who strengthens me", now THAT, is enough.

Grin

I started a great entry today, I mean it was inspired!  When I came back to finish the brilliant thoughts, the original was gone. This deflated me, because somewhere between earlier today and now, I got tired!  Hahaha, I can't recall what I wrote. I started thinking about this and it triggered a memory from one of the core curriculum CTI courses. At the beginning of each class, including following breaks and lunch, the front of the room leaders did a "check in" with the group.  This was an invitation to us to settle in, and get in touch with how we were feeling and what was going on in our heads and hearts and bodies.  Sounds strange and seems to be at first but each time we did this check in, I slowed down long enough to really do just that, check in with where I was and observe~this included the energy in the room, my mental, physical and emotional state, my own energy, whether calm or charged up, agitated or often times anticipatory.  I recall the instructions prior to the sharing. A leader said something along the lines of "don't plan what you are going to say, because by the time we hear you speak, you may be in a totally different place".  Huh...I pause here in appreciation for the ebb and flow, the "dancing in this moment" coaching principal that suggests that  life invites an agility, a recalibrating to the here and now, a response to what is current rather than a rigid practiced and sometimes stale and planned mini infomercial.  Before 12 o'clock today, I was me, without the learning of this afternoon. I'm still me, but just that much smarter, sharper, learned and happy to learn more, and  a little sleepy.  Grin.

Value Driven Livin'

Value Driven Livin', that's what coaching is teaching me. I am excited because I have the privilege of coaching two clients this afternoon and I can't wait to hear them, I mean really hear what is important to them.  When people speak, whatever the topic, chances are they are trying to get a point across. Sometimes, more often than not, there is a repeated theme.  In the listening, I have several options as coach.  I can check out by filling in the blanks in my head based on a previous recounting of a story; I can look for a problem and scramble in my head for a brilliant solution; I have the option of going to Florida in my head to dodge the detailed listening required; these are just a few options and as coach, I have at least one more option!  I can listen for a feeling, an emotion, a hint of what the client needs someone to hear about what is important to them, right here, right now.  This is a fine art and I am being finely tuned and this is where I want to live, in nuance, subtly and delightful expectation of really hearing in words what makes a clients heart sing or skip a beat...ooooow, this is the substance of life!

Downhill Fast Co~Activity

Who I am is a  combination of who I used to be and who I am becoming and the here and now of me is sometimes caught in the middle.  When I was kid, my moms number one priority was to ensure my safety, cleanliness, and satiety.  Mission accomplished, I still live, breathe, eat, drink but...oh you knew there was a but coming, you could feel it, right?  My mothers fear of loss kept me physically safe, in the playpen safe, and for the majority of my adult life,  I stepped out of the playpen in the gym, doing tricks, cool creative things with equipment, strength moves that looked fancy and required balance and skill~things my mother would shutter at, they would scare her.  I know that I know that if I had been left to my own devices, I would have been an adrenalin kid, one of those crazy tree, rock climbing, jumping from high places maniacs.  I know this because each time I step into what charges me up, the overwhelming joy captures me and I experience pure glee.  I remember laughing so hard when I first galloped on a horse, or went down a fast hill on a toboggan, that I couldn't  breathe, the activity took my breathe away from sheer exhilaration. I know that when I was a kid, I was in my head a lot, and now I know why.  That was the only safe place for me and while I became quite the philosophical kid, I was missing out on the holy connection between being and doing.  In coaching, this is Co~Activity. The being and the doing. Its great to think about doing something, but without actually moving forward, taking action, the thought is a passive thing that may someday die for lack of DOING.  Soon, I will go kayaking with new friends...with a laugh that belied my serious message, I told my mom that she is NOT ALLOWED to be scared for me. This was for her, not for me...I love her and don't want her to worry, I am going and coming back.

My Kindred

How do you know that you know when someone loves you?  I know because actions speak louder than words.  I measure my feelings against history~repeated exposure to people gives you a great idea of their character, what they are capable of, what they really think.  Initially, I have a reaction, an instant feeling that I am either attracted to, or repelled by, individuals...ambivalence is generally a sign for me of complete disinterest in a person.  I started writing about knowing love, and at this point, I am looking at the genesis of love, its beginning point, the knowing when you are in the company of your kindred.  The draw for me is natural, unwavering, magnetic and undeniable.  All of my greatest relationships started with this drawing near to the other, this inexplicably impossible to ignore urge to be with them, enjoy their company, soak them up somehow because I felt joyful With them.  I heard a motto, if it feels Light, go toward it.  I always want to go toward The Light.  The ones I love, they too walk towards The Light~you all know who you are.  This is for my people, my kindred.

Heart Map Coaching

I coached today and while I coached, I went in and out of my head.  I looked for sign posts, itty bitty bread crumbs that would lead me to the heart of "the problem" so that I could solve, resolve, fix.  If I view coaching using the metaphor of a boat, it appears that the waters are rough when I first enter the boat, turbulent in fact as I seek to map a course so that I am settled into what needs to be done, traveling the course that will take my client to some destination.  As I look for and cannot find my bearings, I take the boat off course, and as I realize I am doing this, I see my fellow passenger...it is then I know and remember, that I am an invited guest, and that while I can hold and read the map, charting the course is  the clients job, not mine. It's not my boat, not my ride, not my trip, not my destination.  The amazingly astoundingly beautiful thing is this~when I play First Mate rather than Captain, the clients boat always takes us somewhere....and it never ever ever looks like I thought it would, it is far more glorious and rich than I anticipated.  The client always knows where they want to go, their heart will lead them there, the coach looks for the map of the heart, and follows.