Breathing Coaching

Today I had one of my supervised triad calls. We got physical, moved into the Four Cornerstones of the CTI coaching model. This was powerful for me, because it made me feeeeeeeeel, rather than think. We are a doing and getting it done society and we run ruff shot all over anything remotely close to deeply feeling.  Our emotions and feelings are manuipulated continually by marketers and they take us in the direction of the cash register check-out and some how some way, we have done exactly that, checked out. I felt alive, encouraged to really live and feel and breathe the cornerstones and in so doing, I knew that living this model means my clients get to live, feel and breathe their own fulfillment...coaching is gooooooood.

Coaching Without an Agenda

Today with a sped up heartbeat, I called my certification supervisor for our first call.  We designed our alliance and he asked me what I wanted to get from our 3 calls.  I told him I wanted feedback from a master~this is not flattery, it is truth. I told him that my number one value is truth, and that I wanted it from him.  This is a scary concept, because while I know that he will provide what I requested, I also know that my character, my behaviours, my attitude and more can lead me down the path of rationalization, excuse making, and self deception...sounds a lot like lying to me.  We both listened to my recorded coaching call, separately. After listening with critical ears, I called him back. Based on the CTI model and his gate keeping of said model, I got feedback. Honest, clear, helpful feedback. 4/10. I followed the model, but I also led my client, attempting to take him where I thought he should go.  In coaching, the client has ALL OF THE ANSWERS,  and how dare the coach choose, or attempt to choose for the already super smart, naturally creative and whole client...I love the Co-Active model, it is one of the richest sources of humanity I have ever experienced, and I have the privilege of being taught by a master.

Obstacle Course in the Air

Yesterday a friend of mine and I took our sixteen year old sons zip lining and through a series of in the air obstacle courses or "games".  I thought I was afraid of heights prior to the climbing but what I learned is that I'm afraid of falling.  With each climb, each clipping in and unclipping of the hooks that secure the rider, the tree top traveller, confidence builds. Wobbling high above the ground with moving planks or logs under my feet became a feat of concurring each pass, each game, in an efficient and proficient way. The Tarzan boy in front of me forged the way, fearlessly leaping and letting go of the equipment, balancing and testing himself to see just how lemur like he could be, trusting the equipment and himself. He continually called back to me, encouraging me and telling me the best way to get across.  My son was behind me, stricken with fear, on the verge of tears before every pass, but he persevered (once you are up there, there is no way down until you complete the linked series).  I asked him if he was glad he had the experience and he said "no, it's not for me". My girlfriend was behind him and with her encouragement, he made it through, and while he was terrified, he survived.  He decided to watch us during our next series and we moved quickly from game to game, with the climbs being higher and lots of crazy fun zip lining.  The clipping and unclipping became quick, easy, unconscious and natural, and so did the letting go...the fear of falling had disappeared as I trusted the safety equipment and more importantly, myself and what I had learned. Fear is not the boss of me and I will remind myself of this each time I face new yet unchartered personal ground.

In The Beginning

"In ancient literature, an epiphany was the appearance of a deity or a demonstration of divine power that evoked worship".  I was so excited to read about the original use, meaning and power in this word. It stopped me in my tracks as I read my bible, and recognized the wonder that is evoked each time I have an epiphany and as I connect to the origins, I connect to the First, The Last, The Alpha and Omega, The Beginning and the End.  Watered down words, remnants of meaning, that is the language we speak and yet, and yet, some words have the power to express transformative change in the quiet of a moment, spent with God Almighty.  The fact that an epiphany "evokes worship" is even more spectacular, because it isn't the new and energizing thought that we worship, it must be the Power Source, the one from whom the thought and its descriptor originated...yes, this is philosophical, but it is the Bread of life to me, to know that God communicates even when I can't label that I have been in His presence and didn't always know that I had been.  I started my day with the intent to be with and to worship my God, and in the doing, I had epiphany.

Cracked, Broken, Mended

Today I cried, wept, hot, little girl tears of self pitting sadness.  I sat at my kitchen table, snuffling and crying, rubbing my eyes and periodically, I would stop to take a quivery breath only to start all over again. I felt humiliated, exhausted, useless and frustrated as I looked at my laptop and periodically cursed it for hiding important things from me.  My mom lives with my family and she called my son and he came to my side, hugged me and laughed a little and said "it's ok mum".  He then asked me what I needed and as he said this, I continued to mutter and cry but I also started to retrace my steps and proceeded to use the comupter in a way that actually worked...he laughed and said to my mum, "she just did it herself".  Do myself comes to mind, a child's mantra, the longing expressed in simple words to self actualize.  I needed to be told, shown and then do, and since I had been, I longed to "do myself". I started thinking of the computer as a set of drawers, and that I was looking for misplaced items.  I began retracing my steps and this seemed to open my mind to the how and where and it all started to make sense. Last week, a coach comforted me and said "computers are dumb, they are like three year olds, you just have to ask them questions" (I love three year olds and think they are brilliant by the way!).  After a cleansing shower, with a clear mind,  all by myself, I did so many things on my computer to-do-list and felt so proud that I almost started crying again from sheer relief and gratitude.  I needed help...asking for it doesn't always mean you will get it, because people have their own schedules and things-to-do, but in my brokenness, two beautiful human beings came to my aid, and with them by my side, I "did myself".  I am CREATIVE, RESOURCEFULAND WHOLE, I just needed to be reminded.  

I can see clearly now

Your world through my eyes, or my world through your eyes.  There is a song reverberating in my ears "I can see clearly now the rain has gone, I can see all obstacles in my way, gone are the dark clouds that had me blind", sing it with me now "it's gonna be a bright, bright sunshiny day".  How is it that we can see the amazing potential in another, their brilliance, their sunshiny brightness, and yet we can't always see it in ourselves, or when we do, it is a fleeting whisper of a thought, a disappearing glimpse that fades so quickly that we think we might have imagined it?  On a clear day, I can see all obstacles in my way, today, this very minute, as I use this space to write,  my obstacle is disinterest, disinterest in the busy hustle and bustle. I have a quiet side that longs for stillness, to know the great I AM.  Be still, and know that I Am...I sit in my bedroom, close to the window, as the early warnings of a storm pick up and drop my curtains, and I hear the gentle sound of wind, and it stirs my soul to listen.  I am more then my work, my role as wife, mother, daughter, friend, sister, I am one of Gods own creations, and He wants me to "be still, and know that I Am".  The knowing is enough.

Remaining Whole, after the Hole

Odd how rest and relaxation can make you more creative. Today, I lived without urgency, and as I did so, I noticed that the usually persistent and pestering voice in my head just wasn't there. I started my day with God, the bible, and exercise. I danced and after that, I had a leisurely swim...then I got busy, doing the tedious items on my list of things to do and somehow, they weren't so tedious, and not nearly as daunting as I had thought them to be. I have a smirk and narrow eyed glare happening, as I recognize that slowing down affords me far more day to do...everything, including enjoying myself.  The great lie has been that if I'm not physically busy, then somehow I must be planning to be busy, otherwise I am a time waster and perhaps lazy?  This is a trap, and as I climb out of the hole in the ground that held me captive, I shake my head and smirk again, knowing that the trap is waiting for me, ready to swallow me whole. No. No means no. Today was one of the best days of my life, again, and I grin with pleasure that I chose it, it didn't choose me.

My Perfect Client

My perfect client is a soul searcher. My perfect client knows the difference between existing and living. My perfect client is bright, intuitive, a lie detector. My perfect client is loving, kind, strong willed, and smart enough to change direction when he/she realizes that they are off course. My perfect client is energetic, inclined towards laughter and play, and never takes him/herself too seriously. My perfect client makes me feel alive with possibilities and hope, for them, for me, for humanity. My perfect client is a believer in all the best that life has to offer and is joyful when gifts are bestowed, always grateful for things big and small.  This ones for you Helena. 

Jumping off the Crazy Train

One of my super cool friends said today "there is no such thing as multi-tasking". My jaw dropped because YES, SHE IS SOOOOO RIGHT!  Everything has blended and mixed and collided in an ugly mess of stuff, bodies, modalities, messages, tasks.  Clarity doesn't exist because we are too darned busy doing insanely mismatched things at the same time. For instance, why do I think when I am supposed to be listening?  Why is it that while I write this blog, my mom sees me typing but she can't stop herself, she keeps talking, despite me pointing out that I am doing something?  There is no judgement in this statement, I am just taking note of the facts, that there is absolutely no chance in our society to be allowed to do one thing at a time, and the price we pay is that we are doing shoddy work; we aren't listening to each other; the world is full of people bouncing off of one another and going in crazy misaligned chaotic directions...breattttttth.  I am jumping off the multi-tasking train, right now. I will probably find myself on it again and again, but I am hoping that as I continue to learn the art of experiencing and enjoying the here and now, this very moment in time, through  coaching, that I won't have to jump off the train at high speed, that the train will come to a rolling stop and I will elegantly step off, just where I need to be.

Work and Play

Today, while in the midst of getting "stuff" done, I realized I was hungry...I was taking care of business but I hadn't taken of myself.  I stopped , took a breathe and asked myself, what's the urgency?  In my eagerness to make the most of my time, I forgot myself in the fray. I'm thinking, I'm knowing, that this is such a common experience for many, and I'm wondering again, what is the urgency?  When I'm in a hurry, I don't enjoy anything, I get through things and move on to the "next". I don't want to live in next, so today, I made a choice, I chose self care in the form of good food, swimming, hanging out with my husband and laughing, painting my toe nails and I also chose work.  My dad worked until he died...he worked on a Wednesday and died on the Friday...he worked himself to death.  I stand again, looking at the possibilities, all the ways I can spend my time, work is one lovely option, along with swimming, laughing, playing, eating, need I go on?

Healing Invitation

I had an invitation on LinkedIn recently and while I did not recognize the person making the connection request, I felt compelled to accept the request, and I felt that somehow, the decision would be a good one.  If you are betting that I was right, then you win!  As a result of the connection, I got another invitation, an offer to try a service. I took the offer an had an amazing adjustment/treatment from an incredibly kind, talented, professional osteopath named Bradley Dundas.  As a result, I simply had to get some healing for my mother, and she too, experienced great pain relief. My point?  Life is full of invitations, and healing is one of them.  Being wounded can be a way of life, a holding on to what no longer works but somehow is more comfortable than healing.  It is always a happy surprise to me, that as I seek to understand, to heal, to become whole in mind body and spirit, that I invariably get an invitation.  Ask and yea shall receive~how delightful.

The Perfect Circle

Confidence waxes and wains. Everyone wants it; some have way too much of it (Donald Trumph); some have it intermittently; and some have so very little that they all but disappear, going almost unnoticed in the world, almost.  During each coaching course with CTI, the front of the room leaders left no man, or woman, behind.  When sitting, we sat in circle formation, and this configuration made it obvious who was in and who was out when it came to participation. Everyone was invited to participate but not everyone felt comfortable/confident to do so, not everyone felt they belonged in the inner circle of sharing.  No matter, the leaders lovingly noticed and repeatedly invited the "shy" ones in.  As I reflect back, community was a prevalent theme, and building community happened within the constructs of the courses. What the leaders modelled was all inclusiveness, one of the foundational beliefs is that everyone is creative, resourceful and whole, so EVERYONE has a valuable contribution to make that we can all learn from.  While the coaches encouraged, they did not force anyone to participate, they were always respectful of the nature of each class member. In the last course, Synergy, we were taught to be fiercely courageous for our clients, and that meant we see them with our world sized glasses on~where they see themselves as small, the coach always sees the big, grand picture, and the coach holds this vision of the client and hey, let's insert friend, brother, mother, sister, husband etc. in here. During the last course, I desperately wanted my friend to know how precious she is, how powerful she is as coach, how much the world needs a person like her, someone who's motto is to "always be kind".  I begged her to volunteer to be sandbox coached by the group, and she bravely stepped in where she was afraid to go, and with her inclusion in the circle, she made it complete, and it was perfect. With her we were whole, we had shalom, without her, we could never have been.  This one is for you Keli~much love.

Possibilities Forrest Gump Like

Perception is everything. What if perception is misconception, and it causes us to stubble and fall as we mis-step our way through the world?  Black white, right wrong, good bad, kind mean, beautiful and ugly~they aren't just opposites of each other, and I don't want to talk about shades of grey inbetween these extremes. I have lived a life of extremes, all or nothing thinking with being good, fit, happy or sad etcetera.  The extremes can be great, like when I ran so hard that I almost passed out and while I gasped for air, I knew I was strong, I survived, and the feeling that my lungs were going to burst was just a sign of hard work, not eminent death. The extremes are great when I  have had a "perfect" day, when I have said and done all the right things and the world seems to sing in tune with MY SONG and heartbeat. The extremes haven't been so great, when I find I just can't keep up with some crazy standard that I have set for myself or when I feel like I am not measuring up to some standards silently and secretly imposed on my by others and the sense of failure hits like a wrecking ball.  Here is never neverland, the misconceptions that lead us by the nose ring this way and that.  In coaching, the client is allowed to be right, encouraged to be right, and also encouraged to find themselves, to sort out and see what is theirs, what belongs to others and is imposed on them, challenged to question their perceptitions and most importantly, discover or uncover what they really want and what is possible in their lives.  The extremes are two possibilities in a full range of amazing and astounding possibilities, all ready and awaiting discovery and enlivenment.  I am enjoying the possibilities, they are like the best box of chocolates..."you never know what chur gonna get".

Bathing in the Light

Clarity. Coaching is giving me clarity. I had three coaching sessions yesterday and the theme of clarity prevailed. I had my own coaching session and it became clear to me, that clarity must prevail if anything spectacular is going to happen in my life.  I love that coaching isn't magic and that any willing learner can become an effective coach.  Having said this,  it sure does feel magical when blurry vision becomes crystal clear and I can see more than just a few feet ahead of me, I can see the horizon, with full sunrise and sunset views.  There is a transporting of my soul when I hear, see and feel the truth.  Clarity is truth, it is a delicious bathing in the Light.

One Decision

Last week, I made a decision.  The decision wasn't an isolated one, it had many friends, predecessors that started the one decision on its path to my head, my heart, my mouth, my hands, my feet.  Once I made the one decision, mountains began to move, obstacles melted away, synchronicity took over and many others, loved ones and strangers, made the dream come true. I am astounded at the events that have transpired and I am right now, in this very moment, permitting myself the pleasure of expansive appreciation in knowing that all is as it should be, especially when I know what I want and with good intentions, healthful hopeful heartfelt good intentions, my dreams and life purpose will come true and be fulfilled.  God is Good.

Intuitive Hits and Blurting

A coaching skill that I am quite liking is called blurting, and the fun part about blurting is that you don't have to use it just in coaching.  In coaching, the coach listens keenly to the client and also to their own super human intuition and when the coach trusts themselves and the skills they have finely honed, they can have these crazy intuitive hits, and the result is a client stopped in their tracks, then saying "that's it, that's exactly it".  Oooow, that's the sweet spot!  Now, like many skills, there is crossover ability, and intuition is one of those amazing, delightful thangs (that is NOT a misspell), that can be used all the time.  I really love using this innate ability and it is serving me well on a more frequent basis. During my last CTI course, I committed to developing my intuitive powers (yes, I said powers~used only for good!), and now, I am serving my clients, my family, my friends and as i mentioned earlier, myself, in new and improved ways that meet needs and heart felt desires.  Intuition isn't magic but it sure feels like it when you use it and it helps someone.  Now, its great to have intuition but if you don't use it, blurt it out, nothing can be gained.  I have been blurting a whole lot lately and i gotta say, the pay offs have been huge.  Synchronicity...now that's another cool thang and something to talk about another day.

I had my first official coaching session with my coach this morning. I was a little anxious prior to the call because I knew I needed the coaching and I wasn't sure what would come up. The trepidation was real, tangible, and had nothing to do with my relationship with my coach, Szos St Germain.
I had a rest on furniture from www.gocasual.ca

My New Friend, Technology

I am creative resourceful and whole...geez, I have had to say these words to myself repeatedly tonight as I tried some Balance coaching on MYSELF!  Technology scares me and my default is to ask for help almost immediately after I start fumbling around with my laptop (stupid thing), my iPad (idiot) or my email (blankety blank blank).  Yeah, and now, here I am, able to say YIPPY for me, because I have persevered and with very little assistance, I figured out all the darned stuff myself!  Growing up really is fun. Here's the thing:  I didn't believe I could make technology work for me, I thought of it as some kind of magic performed by the exceptional ones and I kept myself outside of the learned circle, much to my own determent.  I have screamed and hollered and threatened my devices repeatedly over the past few days when really, I was pretty mad at me.  I don't want to constantly ask for help and yet, as my coach pointed out, that's exactly what I needed to do. It was suggested to me that when I ask for help, to tell the husband or the boy (my exceptional ones) that there is some shame attached to my inadequacies with technology.  When I did this with my son, he showed compassion, and instead of doing it for me to get it out of the way, he patiently taught me how...what I learned is that he probably would have done this is the first place if I had expressed my real need, the need to know and feel able, in the first place. Today, when I asked him to DO something for me, he said no, I'll show you how...that boy is smart.I m tired on what furniture from www.gocasual.ca

I am NOT SORRY

Oh humanity, how beautiful thou art...or can be, when all persona and posturing is stripped away and essence is laid magnificently bare~I try my hand at poetry but really what I want to say quite plainly is that people really are NATURALLY CREATIVE, RESOURCEFUL AND WHOLE!  Each and every time I start a coaching relationship, I am delighted when the client starts to believe that this is exactly how their coach, me, sees them. It is the craziest gift ever to give to someone by telling them they are naturally creative rsourceful and whole, and then to see them believe you believe this and then they start believing it too!  One of the repeated themes in sessions is apology, the quick "I'm sorry" that comes automatically from clients. Behind, attached to, clinging on the back of the I'm sorry is shame, regret, guilt, embarrassment~everything ugly and inhumane and cruel, holding the client prisoner to some measure of excellence they are sorry they can't meet. The coach sees the monkey on the back and loosen the grip, by acknowledging that the client isn't their words or actions, and IS naturally creative resourceful and whole.  As monkeys are flung off backs, clients live into their best selfs for all the world to see and enjoy. Oh coaching, how beautiful thou art...

Szossy The Great

In the matter of one short half hour, my coach Szos St Germain reached into my life, based on the thoughts I shared through words, and touched my past, my relationship with my long gone father, and the current impact that this relationship has on me.  Szos sensed and felt things that I didn't need to explain or verbalized. Is he a mind reader?  I don't believe he is;  he is a visionary, a puzzle solver, a humanitarian and a life coach. He is a trained and talented coach but his skills go beyond technique, they are curative and first aid for the soul.  Coaching happens after the close of a session;  I journaled after my session and went in and out of sleep, eyes popping open, pen and paper ready to record the sorting of all things head and heart, as each piece slipped, dropped, crashed into place in my own life puzzle. When our coaching session was done, we moved into friendship but just before saying goodbye, he couldn't help himself, he held me in high regard, and reminded me that taking care of myself must remain an essential part of my life, this is a much needed reminder....how about for YOU!  XO Szossy Pants

Gentle now, easy does it

Ever work wayyyyy harder than you needed to?  On an orientation coaching call, the trainer had one of those red Staples buttons and throughout the call she hit the button periodically and a "that was easy" would come out loudly and clearly over the phone lines, making me laugh every time.  Today I used my salad spinner to get rid of excess water from my romaine, and I realized that typically, I spin that sucker as fast as I can. Today, I gently turned the crank and I noticed the spinner does all the work, even with a gentle turn...upon reflection, I realize I have used excessive force to generate action, reaction, end goal results.  Regret could flood in and cause a sense of loss or remorse, but I would much rather take the learning and gently tread,  ninja like, in the minds, hearts and souls of the ones I love, those who share my life and world.

More spaghetti

Oh we just DON'T KNOW what an impact we have on one another. Yesterday I was in and out of a bowl of spaghetti, one strand in the jumbled mess. Today, one of the noodles I felt entangled by and with, shocked and delighted me. Yesterday, facial expressions told me that pain was present, a sense of sadness and loss. I challenged a fear perspective that had predominated and had steered this "noodle" this way and that, resulting in alienation, disappointment and more proof that fear was necessary in life when interacting with others.  The lovely noodle dug deep, acknowledged the ever present fear that people can not be trusted or counted on and she took a leap, right out of that fear bowl into um...oh darn it, my metaphor is getting weak!  The lovely will-remain-nameless woman took a leap of faith in her fellow man and began believing, trusting, that her best interests were and are the concern of many.  Cryptic I know, but this is a celebration!  Hope springs eternal and I am excited for all noodles that jump out of the jumbles of their own making!  In coaching, everyone is creative, resourceful and whole, how cool is that?

Spaghetti and Humanity

Sometimes I feel like I'm one cooked spaghetti strand in a bowl of strands, all jumbled and mixed together in a heaping mess.  Certain situations, people, circumstances, and perspectives make for this messy concoction of humanity, with themes hardly discernible and endlessly tiresome to un-mess.  As a coach, and as a personal trainer, I like clean lines, I like puzzle pieces falling into place and I like the whole person and all of their moving parts to work symmetrically and in sync with ease and fluidity. Yeah, hahaha, that makes me grin and say ahhhhhhhhh. I jumped out of a spaghetti bowl today, one strand extracted from the jumble and as I separated myself from the other cooked noodles, I began to gain clarity and straighten up. With the clarity I realized that I am very subject to the energy of others, particularly when they have sealed their own fate with depressed fatalism.  Without hope, there is a giving away of the self and dreams die while a restless longing remains, an empty unfulfilled ache.  My hope remains, for all the jumbled messy noodles out there, jump out of that bowl and claim the life that awaits you.