Family By Default

Family is what we call two parental units plus child(ren). This used to be referred to as the nuclear family. Some parents stay with each other and their offspring while others split off, forming another family cell. The children are often members of family by default. Think on this a moment Dear Reader. Children have no choices, no say, no recourse. Children are what every adult hates to be, subjected to the whims and wants of others. Your heart and mind might have you reeling back in the film of your history, recalling a time when you were subject to your own parents or someone acting in their stead. What did you want desperately that you did not have the words to express? What did your tear filled eyes beg for that no one noticed or worse yet, someone told you to stop crying and be a big boy, be a big girl? Hurt happens Dear Reader, and sometimes a parents greatest efforts are not enough to prevent hurt because while the child is young, learning and growing, often times parents are too. Generational hurts are a lot like decrepit antiques passed down from one generation to the next-worthless and worn, they serve no purpose, no use. What was is still, as long as the old keeps moving in with the new. Allow me to be clear, here and now. You and I, we are in a position to be in family, not by default but by choice. If you are reading this and your family has "history" that reads like a horror story, then isn't it about time you do something differently? Are there patterns in place that you inherited, traditions that trade love for hate? Are there outdated antique ways that have never been looked at and asked the question, why are we keeping this thing? Elementally speaking, if love is the nucleus in a family, than love can lead the way to choice. If default has been the mode, what would selection look and feel like? Each member of family deserves consideration. This generation, and this means you and I, can make a difference and redefine what family means to us. Default is the unconscious acceptance of what was. Choice says there are ways, we have our ways and if family is valued, you WILL find a way to make them a choice. Reset your clock, spring forward and let Love lead the way.