Palominos

My last blog was about a repair bid, the souls way of breaking through and asking for healing, peace, reconciliation.  What about reconciliation with self?  This week I struggled between the me, the wild pony me, and fitting in with the tameness that others live by.  The wild pony me is curious and playful, lovingly nudging and edgy, with a crazy run for the fences and leap to the other side energy. In my wildness I send invitation, a come run with me and let's see what we will discover along the way.  Depending on who I'm with, I either run wild and free or, I feel the bite of the bit in my mouth, the backward pull and reigning in of what is natural. With their discomfort, I feel self conscious, unruly, and corralled.  Is it them or is it me?  Am I too much or are they not enough?  If I push, will they break or will they push back?  Palominos run with palominos...turtles don't run.  I think I have my answer.  This is for Keli, Julie, and Lauren. You are my paliminos.

Repair Bid

Being and doing is a balancing act. The body houses the soul and the body is never still and perhaps, the restlessness of the soul is the reason.  I heard a cool term the other day, repair bid. I found out from a friend that it is used in her business often to refer to a bid to do work that has to be adjusted or repaired. I heard the term in reference to relationship and found it fascinating because there are rips and tares in relationships and when breakdown occurs in the form of arguments or fighting, sometimes within the battle, one person will look away, stop speaking, or pause~this is an indication of neutrality, a bid to repair the breach in relationship.  The body, through the eyes, subtle head shifts or apparent silence gives signals of what is happening internally.  Matching the inside with the outside is the challenge, a risk in vulnerability.  Repair bid is perhaps the call of the soul, a request for mending what wants to be healed.

Doggie Knows Best

My dog and I have this cool relationship.  He looks at me with hope in his eyes when I walk toward the front closet where his walking gear is and sometimes, I have to apologize to him, tell him not now.  He gives me the downcast look, the why not, what could possibily be more important than a walk look.  He and I both know what we are missing.  Over the weekend my city got a spectacular amount of gorgeously glimmering brighter than white snow.  Walkways hadn't been plowed but that didn't stop me and my dog. Out we went, knee high in snow for me in spots where others hadn't yet trod. Caesar bunny like hopped two paws in and out at at time, happily running as fast as I could keep up.  The excileration was breath taking and the beauty of the white blanket balm for the soul.  I could have stayed out there all day...

Demanding as Commanding

Thought patterns and behaviours are changeable. This is "the way I am" is an easy way of saying, I'm not changing.  Change only occurs if there is loss, or the threat of loss.  If I am demanding and people give in to my ways, I have several options when confronted by this truth. I can see myself as an opportunist and congratulate myself for winning all of the time. I can see the other and the impact my demands have on them and continue to demand my way or perhaps, conversely, I might see the impact and decide that it is self serving, necessitating a change.  I am seeing any demand, as a command, as a way to control the situation, people, circumstances, a bid to predict outcomes and responses.  The rigidity of this is a comfort for the commander, a self soothing way of mastering environment and the people in it.  It is not so comforting for the commanded, it is a form of constraint, a rude imposition of will.  When the response to a demand or command becomes a no, a definitive NO, there opens possibility for change in the commander.  In true and abiding relationship, the fear of loss forces change when yes becomes no.  Commander must decide which holds importance to them, being in command, or being in relationship?

What If?

What if behind the scenes, there is a conspiracy, and everything is working FOR YOU?  What if fear is the blinder that keeps you from seeing through a very thin veil?  What if on the other side of the veil, spectacular is waiting for you?  Glimpses of perfection entice, call out to seek and find. Life is a scavenger hunt, we are the hunters, looking for hidden treasure. In The Bible, there is a verse, if God be for me, who can stand against me?  What if He, God Almighty, with nods and winks and sparkling things peeking out of sand and barely hidden in the corners of our minds, hearts, souls, what if He has planted treasure and all we need do is seek and find?  What if with one gentle full inhale, God breathes out, look here, over there, this way, warmer, warmer...what if?

Trees

I love the sound of leaves crunching under my feet in the fall. I'm not sure what delights me about it but it does. Today I crunch crunch crunched my way home and as I walked, I saw a whole mess of leaves, wind blown into a pile against the barrier of a fence. It occurred to me that they came from somewhere (yes, I know, a tree!) and I decided to look up.  There stood the stripped naked tree, branches bleak without their colourful leafy clothing, vulnerable to the wind, rain, weather.  In its vulnerable state, the tree is rooted, strong and tall and ready to face the winter, wind, rain and all.  In coaching, clients shed their outer layer, the protective defence mechanisms that have shielded them from perceived and real threat, making them willingly vulnerable and in their naked soul state, they discover their strength, rooted in Truth, Faith, and self Love. This one is for you Helena, my soul sister and faith twin, much Love. I too am blissed and blessed.

Empathy

Being empathic can be a gift, or a curse. Empathy is the seeing, feeling, knowing of pain for the other as though you too, were suffering. Shutting this off or down is a natural inclination, self preservation being the more comfortable choice rather than suffering~why suffer if you have an option?  Feeling the pain, being with it as coach means to stay, being courageous enough to acknowledge it and not run and hide. How can I be a soft place to land for another when I cut and run if and when pain appears?  How can I love another to their own strength if I cannot hold them in their pain?  How can I be the ears and eyes, the witness of strength when I am unavailable to the heart break, the soul wrenching suffering.  In the sharing, their is the fortifying, in the spilling of blood, there is the knitting together of the wound, in the healing, their is the unifying of souls.  Love God,  love others, change the world.  What else is there?

Door Open

There has got to be something in the way of the door closing.  Blocked, stuck, immobilized. Doors are used to keep the cold out, strangers out, the world out.  Doors are used to define boundaries and invitation.  My door is always open to you is warm and welcoming.  I shut the door in his face is a violent expression, a do not enter, you are NOT welcome here message. Currently I am pondering open doors.  I like doors wide open or shut, with the lock on. I am fearful of the inbetween and the discomfort that comes with the not knowing.  I'm curious what is happening.  In the past, I would see ambiguity, indecisiveness and even judgement that goes something like this "make up your mind for goodness sake" if I found myself in the inbetween. Now I'm seeing that the undone part, the not knowing part, is the invitation in relationship, not for me to decide its fate, open or closed, but for the other to decide. I leave the door open, and I patiently and curiously wait...

Whisssper

Whisssper. That's the word I heard in my head as I drove to a clients house for a training session this morning, whisssper.  I turned on my stereo and the queued up disc began to play and I was tempted to switch to another band, not sure if I was in the mood for the one singing away. I resisted the urge, and within the first sentence, the word whisper appeared along with the phrase, calling out my name.  The music is by Avalon, a Christian group.  God whispers in my ear and as He does this, He calls my name.  Tears of gratitude came along with a knowing that He sees me, hears me, but most importantly, He wants me to see and hear Him. Precognition, synchronicity, intuition, déjà vu, premonition, these are my gifts, my hearing and seeing Him, His way of communicating and when I listen to the message, it brings abundant joy, knowing that His message is Linda, I love you.  This is not the first time, nor will it be the last, that He speaks the words of Truth I need to hear, when I need to hear them.

Rough Spots

The art of coaching, words are brush strokes, perspectives are vistas, acknowledgment captures the essence and honesty refines and defines lines.  Pretty picture, done.  Resonance ordered up and delivered...but that isn't how it always goes in fact, there is discomfort, upset, challenge and risk in the very intimate relationship that exists between client and coach.  Sometimes the upset happens for the coach because we are not bloodless robots delivering a rote service of happiness and fulfillment.  The coaching relationship is just that, with impact on both sides, investment from both parties. It is unique and wonderful and scary and fantastic all at once and when things go sideways, when there is a bump in the road, the challenge is to stay...work through the rough spots and go deeper.

Gloom To Glow

Yesterday was Remembrance Day, and it rained dreary, and dark...apropos given the heavy loss that everyone feels in honouring those that gave their lives for us to enjoy freedom.  Over night, snow fell, blanketing my city in brilliance, purifying cleansing snow, the fresh crispness reminding me that after the dark, there is always the Light.  My dog ran out into our lawn snout down, mouth open, scooping up the magical white mana. In this display of animal glee, I bust open too, sheer joy filling me up and helping me to breath deeply, delighted to be given this new outlook, from gloom to glow, God is good.

Self Judgement

How do you recharge your batteries?  I am a pretty upbeat and energetic kinda gal with lots of enthusiasm for life and sharing and caring but every once in a while bam, I hit a wall. I had a delicious hot drink with a friend recently and she described herself as lazy. This is so far from the what I know to be true about her that I had to ask what she meant.  She told me that she could just sit and not care if she saw anyone for days at a time AFTER going full tilt with lots of socializing that involves hostessing and caring for the needs of others. I asked her if she believed she is an introvert?  She answered yes, she thinks she is. I suggested that when she withdraws, it is her way of healing, recharging.  She seemed relieved to hear this.  After calling herself lazy for who knows how many years, this new perspective seemed so true as to be a pleasant surprise. When compared to others in her family, she had always considered herself to be falling short, with less to give because of her withdrawal after the full exposure to the crowds in her life (no joke, this woman teaches, is a major organizer for a large church and is married with two very busy daughters). Self judgement can be so harsh.  Ask a friend or family member how they see you and wait for the lovely gift of appreciation they have for you as a great human being. Take the compliments, believe them, and enjoy.

I Love You

I got a challenge today...when answering the phone, saying the words "I love you", no matter who is on the other end.  With call display, this makes for an easy selection process because when the phone rings, there is an automatic I love feeling or an oh, dang, do I really have to answer this call cuz so and so annoys the heck out of me feeling.  The challenge is simple, love everyone, no matter who is calling...haha, simple, nothing could be further from the truth, and here in lies the challenge.  To love the unloveable is a feat, an over-riding of the inclination to protect the self from those that are difficult to be with.  I want love to be my call to the wild, in me and in the humans that cross my path, familiar or otherwise.  Call me, in the next two weeks I will answer with "I Love You".

Perfectly Happy

Yesterday...all my troubles seemed so far away (singing this Beatles like, in my head as I type) Yesterday was a crazy coaching day for me.  I got lessons all over the place, in my face lessons about the importance of infrastructure for policies and procedures; who my ideal client IS NOT; what transference looks and feels like, again; the damage projection from me to client can cause; what I can't be with; how keenly aware I must be of the context of self management; what is and what is full stop NOT, coaching.  Through it all, I was different from the me of yesteryear, I had a short self reproach pitty party after a not so well done on my part coaching session but than, I snapped out of it.  Accountability, immediate and with remorse came first, with an apology to the client.  Next came forgiveness, and a letting go of regret, followed by the learning, the thought that yeah, that session wasn't my best but I know what good coaching looks like, feels like, is.  With the knowing, I coached again, with two more clients...thankfully, I recovered, forgot about mistakes gone by and stayed present to the client(s) and I did what I know to be excellent coaching.  Phew, bitter sweet relief.  I'm not perfect, but I'm perfectly happy with that.

Emotional Contagion

Emotional contagion...yeah, sounds like quite the disease. What I learned today is what I already knew, but with super charged awesome verbiage!  Our emotions are contagious, that's right, they are catchy.  Not only are emotions contagious, they are impossible to mask!  Here is the example I heard:
Before leaving the house for work, school, wherever, you have a disagreement with a family member/ room mate.  You know you have to face people and you decide that you will put on a happy face, leave that nasty argument behind and make the most of the day.  Good plan, but what you may not know is that people read your emotions, not the lying smile on your pretend happy face, and this confuses them.  Mirror neurons, the human truth detectors that let us know that behind the smile, there is a story, are Gods gift to humanity. You can't fake it till you make it, you gotta get through it, deal with whatever is making you a mess inside, come to some kind of peaceful resolution within before the smile can ever be perceived as genuine.  I love science, neuroscience in particular, because emotions don't lie, the brain does!  Follow your gut~it is the messenger of Truth and it tells you what IS every single time.

Love Is Immutable

I had a really cool revelation today about love, more specifically about its permanency.  When I was growing up, I heard the words I love you a lot. Today I thought about what I believe about love.  This wasn't my first foray into these investigative thoughts but today, I had the oh, I get it moment that gave me a real smiley face uplift...I mean I grinned from ear to ear for a good part of my dog walk after the epiphany.  In the Bible, there is a verse that reads "faith without deeds is dead". This speaks to love in action, and while I heard the words I love you often, I didn't believe them at any given moment because they seemed to come at me from good moods, or an overflow of the heart because the person speaking them was having a good day.  Was I loved, absolutely!  Was it demonstrated, yes, in infinite ways BUT...opposite messages were also delivered, often in silence, when the persons mood was less than happy, was miserable, or it was a "bad day".  Communication skills were not taught well in my household and so, there was always an insecure feeling, a not knowing of something...now I put my finger on the something, it is love. This not knowing feeling has presented, pattern like, in my relationships throughout the years, giving me the sense that love is a come and go kind of thing. God reminded me today of His immutability, that perception and feelings do not always clearly represent truth and that "His love endures forever". My Perfect Model gives love, Is Love, and I follow in His footsteps.

The Force

One of the things I love most about coaching is the call to honesty.  The client knows that they want something, that there is something missing in their lives but they can't quite put their finger on it and in their eagerness to discover or uncover the unvoiced longing, they are willing to be vulnerable and open themselves up to a coaching relationship. Today I witnessed bravery in two clients, one acknowledging repeatedly that she no longer wants to hold someone else accountable or blame another for holding her back and the second, with trepidation, holding someone accountable in such a valiant way as to be a source of protection for those that could not protect themselves.  It isn't easy, being brutally honest, but without this honesty, there is no forward movement. Coaching is about accounability, responsibility to self first and more importantly, being responsible in the world, for what we think, what we say and do, because we impact others and the force should ALWAYS be used for good.  

Faith in Things Unseen

What if your faith in things unseen was so large as to remove all doubt?  What if your faith in others was so deep that fear of loss and pain from disappointment never crossed your mind?  What if faith in yourself was so embedded, unquestionable and unfathanably larger than life that you said and did and  loved in such a way that others knew your pure intentions, and in so doing, knew your heart?  This is namaste, I see you. Namaste recognizes the beautiful part, the glorious display of the soul...the two parts of us, the me and you that make up the whole are sometimes warring.  We are at times, a house divided against itself. The base human gotta take care of me part says if I don't take care of me, who will?  The divine, God implanted part says, what about others?  How am I a servant?  What joy can I bring?  Who am I in humanity?  What mark will I leave?  Which part of the warring me will win and what legacy do I leave behind?  On my Sabbath, I want the divine to conquer, the faith in things unseen to win.

Money Monster Slayer

Energetically, money is a scary thing for most people.  Money is talked about all of the time and is an idol, a real living and breathing thing in the imagination, a monster in the closet that screeches in a nails on a chaulk board kind of way "not enough, more, you need more of meeeeee".  I am currently studying money, and what I'm noticing is that fear and frustration are partners in crime in the pysche of those who don't understand money, have majical thinking about it, or see it as some kind of threat to their principals and morals ie the rich are greedy.  Yesterday, I presented a Say Yes To Money mini workshop to business women. Learning a profession is fabulous, edifying, AND expensive...learning that you are a salesperson first and foremost requires some insanely deep digging into self limiting beliefs.  Bringing a product or service to market is a must and yet, for the new entrepreneur, charging for services rendered can be embarrassingly painful.  I heard once "services rendered without payment are not valued".  I add to this, services rendered without payment can cause irritation, disillusionment, disappointment and dissatisfaction for the service provider as they begin to recognize that while they are helping others, they are somehow hurting themselves. Getting paid for work is not mercenary, it is a well deserved exchange for what the client wants from the service provider, an Even~Steven honouring from one human being to another.  I am the Money Monster Slayer, on a quest to get clear and help others get clear about how valuable they are before they ever utter the words, my fee is...