Fire & Water

My napkin caught on fire!  

Last night, while enjoying most excellent company and sumptuous food, my friend Jessica noticed a fire on our table top. I glazed at the blaze, picked up the fiery napkin by its unburnt corner, and proceeded to drop it on the floor. It had already managed to burn part of my phone purse, heat up the wall, and on its hot descent to the floor, sparked my friends jean jacked, attracting much attention. Jessica's daughter was humming loudly hmmmmm during the event, and while my friend and I were stomping the flame, a black shoed foot appeared to assist, and I heard close to my ear, let me, my shoes are bigger ... or something to that affect. Rather quickly and efficiently, the still lit candle was removed from our table, a staff member appeared to clean up the chars, and as we sat back down to resume our evening of fun and food, I noticed the whole restaurant looking our way ... that's when I decided to give a wave and say, heyyy ... their was a slight chuckle, and all returned to normal. I did ask the server if we could have more fire, but she declined. 

Today, I learned what a pressure gauge is!

Taking care of my pools needs did not come naturally to me, nor did I initially appreciate the tasks required to maintain crystal clear waters. I was resistant and resentful at first, and rightly so ... taking care of a pool is man's work: I say this almost jokingly! I am not a man, as defined in the old fashioned way, but I am a home owner, and the pool came with the house. 

Several summers

Hiring out the work of opening, closing, cleaning, maintaining, is the easy and more expensive way out of responsibility. I am loathe to give work and money away, when I can do things myself. Over the past several summers, my son and I have learned the how to's of pools, or at least, the one that nestles in the earth of our backyard. When I say learned, I mean he researches on line, and I acquire my knowledge by trial and experiential error. 

1. The pool works on a suction or vacuum system

2. Following chemical instruction is actually important

3. Chlorine removes colour from clothes (I knew that, but was casual about splash anyway, until of course, the darned stuff took colour out of a top I like)

4. Worms get in the filter baskets, and screaming is a natural response when I have touched one

5. Touching worms won't kill me, but I will never not scream, when I accidentally have flesh to flesh contact

6. Backwashing can drain a pool in minutes flat

7. Pressure gauges, when removed while the pump is on, can get the side of a person's head super wet, super fast 

8. Taking care of the pool gives me great satisfaction 

I grew up as a middle child, very pampered by my mom, and my dad when he was alive. I married an eldest, and he was a take action, get things done kinda guy when we were married. Most of my friends are either first borns or functionally so, and they are detail, take care of business sorts: I have always appreciated their planning skills, and the benefits of being in their company. 

Always fascinated

Taking care of business has become a new mode of being for me over the past five plus years. I do believe that I coasted prior to my marriage dissolving, not because I am lazy, but because it seemed that so many were willing to hop to action, and I didn't mind one bit! As a contented onlooker, I was always fascinated by their get up and go. I have this too of course, about things I am interested in ...

Green with algae

The first summer without a man to take care of the pool was grey to me. I didn't care about it, or much else, other than healing for family members in my household. We were wounded, and needed time to adjust to our new circumstances. The pool got by with minimal attention, and no visitors. I wasn't in the mood for company, or the ease of cooling off on a hot day. Going green with algae at the end of the season seemed acceptable to me: why bother was the sentiment, the cover will be on soon anyway, with winter coming. 

Each season, the pool become an entity to me, a living thing of sorts. The second year, I became somewhat interested, and desirous of making good of our relationship. I even had a baby fest, a party for some young clients with their infant and toddler children. My best friends and I enjoyed our time pool side, and it seemed life held some poolish promise. Fast forward to today, dear reader, and I am becoming a bit of a pro ...  I know what winterizing is, what the pump looks like inside, how to look for bubbles out of the filter holes as proof that the lines are open and all is in working order. I could go on about my mad skills, but I don't want to seem like a braggart, dear one ... suffice it to say, that in five years, necessity converted somewhere along the way, to desire. 

Chance to learn how

I want to be responsible for the fires I start, and the water that sputters and spouts when the pressure is on. I want to take care of my own business, and not rely on strangers to come and rescue me, or fix something because I haven't given myself the chance to learn how to yet. I like being able to say that I had no clue, but now I do. 

Here is my backstory though, dear reader. I cried, I swore, I screamed, I accused with balled fists, and I gave up many a time. I called myself stupid, and wanted to move. I hated and cursed and all of it was necessary for me to go through, because the pool represents so much more than just trapped water encased in concrete. It represents a coming of age for me. A maturing into my full potential. Taking responsibility for all of my life is what has taught me the most about what I am capable of. Asking for help, or having it generously supplied from unexpected places by thoughtful and kind people, gave me the impetus to try again.

Chlorine up my nose

Last night, during the fire (hee hee), my life didn't go us in a flash. It was a fun experience, and we all handled it with calm and humour. Today, when I got chlorine up my nose and on my toes, I knew to wash it off quickly ... and there was no cursing required. When my head and upper body got pressure washed, I had a good laugh because I do believe, that that was the only way for me to ever understand a pressure gauge. 

A wonderful friend of mine often says, from bad comes good. There is wisdom in knowing that in our darkest days, we can still have hope for a brighter future, crystal clear water, and the purifying that the refiners fire provides. All we need to contribute, is a willingness to be humble enough to admit we have a whole lot to learn ... and a desire to take action after a short bout of belly aching.

NOTE: While my backyard looks similar to the one in the picture, this is NOT my pool!