Life Is It Anyway

The not so funny joke of "you have married your mother/father" exists because it's true. The unconscious decisions we sometimes make are based on an unfinished story, often times, someone else's. What do you do when someone else's story is superimposed on your life?  What is this ancient ritual of passing on dysfunction or on the brighter side of this scenario, passing on the happy and the good from and in relationship?  Whichever scenario we find ourselves in, there is a remembering, a pulling back to what was and in everyday life, it shows up as what currently is.  This is a messy kind of statement so I will explain.  Let's play with the idea that when I selected my mate, he was very different from my father.  As time went on, similarities between my husband and father became apparent, and from there, someone might observe and say positively or with a negative snarl, "you married your father".  This generally is stated in the negative and has a Freudian feel, an unresolved issue that shows up looking for healing, understanding, resolution.  The big question is:  if my husband actually was unlike my father when we began our relationship and gradually became more like him as time went on, did I do or say or live a life that formed and shaped, created in essence, a repeat of who my father was for some unknown reason?  This question takes me to this thought filled question:  Who's life is it anyway?  Am I okay with someone else's superimposed life placed dark shadow like overtop of mine?  What role do I play in giving away my freedom to chose for myself in favour of repeating what I have learned?  We create all the time, including our reality. What is yours?  Who's life is it anyway?  You decide.