All In

Today I enjoyed a brand new perspective and I'm excited to share it. I have been an all or nothin kinda gal most of my life and today the thought came to me that this isn't true anymore.  I read a suggestion recently and have repeated it often since than, to practice not finishing.  I am good at that when it comes to a terrible conversation, movie, book, in fact, I have been working on stay, my patience, even taking a breath periodically to readjust my inclination to bolt when bored. All or nothing is different from this, it relates to an obligation to finish want I have started consuming, whether it be food or drink, I was raised to finish, to not waste.  As a fitness professional, this put extra pressure on me to stay fit and the roller coaster ride of being perfectly, this I say tongue in cheek, controlled or going hog wild, yes I used this term purposefully, was an up and down physical ride AND it took its toll on my self beliefs, I felt like a fraud, not living the lifestyle I hold in high regard. On Feb 10th, I committed to my own self care, my wellness, and fitness is a major component in my plan. I haven't been all or nothing, I have been ALL IN!  I love taking care of myself, I love the knowing feeling I get that my value of wellness is being honoured each time I take the time (not make the time, that doesn't exist) to go to the gym.  Permission to not finish has translated into if I don't like something I am eating or drinking, I stop eating or drinking it. In the past, I committed to fitness, on again, off again.  On Feb 10th I committed to my own well being, this is an inside out rather than an outside in approach.  When I look at my perspectives, stare them in the eye and challenge their validity, sometimes they whimper, turn and run the other way, taking with them the lies that no longer have a hold on how I see my world and live in it.  Choice can be friend or foe, it all depends on your perspective.