Repentance

It has arrived, dear reader. At this moment in time, I am completely listening and at the ready, to hear these words: 

• I am sorry for treating you like a leper 
• I am sorry I wanted to zoom meet with you when we live around the corner from each other 
• I am sorry that I wanted you to wear a mask and suggested you clean all surfaces and keep your clients far from you
• I am sorry I wanted you to be injected with a soul saturating body murdering satan solvent 
• I am so sorry, that instead of living the undying love I proclaimed as your best friend, I kept you at more than arms length, and lost you from my life
• I am sorry for being so self-absorbed and fear drenched, that I couldn't see past my me moments, to the you that I knew, loved, and trusted all these years
• I am sorry that you don't trust me anymore ... and I totally understand why, because honestly, I don't trust myself 

Please forgive me? 

Not long ago a former friend of mine apologized to me for condemning me in a time when compassion was more apropos. I addressed the slight, pointing out to her what she had done, but she felt righteous in her condemnation of me. Years later, she contacted me and humbly apologized. I appreciated this very much, and told her so. While the apology was well received, much time had elapsed and with it, the foundation of trust we had previously worked at establishing, had eroded. There was a no-going-back feeling for me that perhaps, wasn't there for her in her contrite and hopeful state, of wanting friendship reinstatement. 

I can understand why she wanted a return to what was. Prior to the breach in relationship, there was a joy of sharing and caring, a sense that two were walking side by side on a path that was often strewn with rocks, and dangerously slippery slops that we navigated successfully together. We had an understanding, and when self-righteous indulgence entered in, it broke our bond. 

This is what has happened all over the globe. A severing of bonds that should have been cemented and unbreakable, are snap-crackle and popping everywhere we turn our gaze.  

The father shall be divided against the son and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter and the daughter against the mother; the mother-in-law against the daughter-in-law and the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law (Luke 12:53)

Dear reader, I have witnessed this divide in my own nuclear family. My former husband and son do that have the same beliefs or lifestyle, and this has kept them apart. My in-laws are also former relatives by marriage, and while I have nothing against them, we were divided before we were ever united, because we do not share the same faith in Jesus Christ as Saviour. How then, can we expect those that are not our kin, to be our forever kindred?

The expression blood is thicker than water is actually true. It is the blood of Jesus Christ that unites us as members in the family of God. It is His shed blood that bonds His children, His people, in ways that can never be severed. What we have experienced is a breaking away from each other as we publicly establish to whom we belong. Forgive me, dear one, but it truly is an us and them, or them and us situation. The only thing that can unite, is the acknowledging of sin against God, and against one another, followed by the asking of forgiveness as a verbal act of contrition.

Risk of ruining other

Egregious sin damages the psyche and soul of not only the recipient of sinful words and actions, but also the personage of the offender. It is a lose | lose situation for both parties. I saw my friends and some family members purposefully distance themselves from their own blood relatives, and while I could be offended by these steps away from loved ones, I know that God knew what we were wickedly capable of. We are abundantly, currently, horribly aware of how far people will go to save themselves, at the risk of ruining relationship with other.

I feel as though my wounds have scarred over. I am no longer mystified at this great falling away. I feel as though the ball has dropped without bounce in the court side of those that chose to go the way of the world, rather than remaining in high fidelity love relationships with the people that they have history with and know them the best. They are in a choice position once again, because the unraveling of spun lies is happening before their very eyes, and they get another chance at saying they were wrong, that they are sorry, and asking for forgiveness. 

House in order

I fear for them. I fear that they will stubbornly stay in stuck mode. That their souls will shrivel inside of them for want of acknowledging wrong doing ~ denial is safe only for a time. There is always a reckoning appointment and who amongst us can determine the when part of this equation? To resist the Truth is damning, and a choice that does not serve anyone when eternity is yawning its mouth wide open. You and I are not promised tomorrow, so getting our house in order ought to be on our today check list. 

I wait, for words I may never hear. I have hope in my heart that conscience overcomes the convenience of self-deception for those that used to be my come what may comrades in spiritual arms. Repentance is a beautiful gift that one offers first to God, than to other, and finally, to one's own soul. There is nothing in the world like it to open the door to a heart that beats for the living God. 

I highly recommend it, if you haven't yet experienced the power, of repentance.