Dangerous Personalities

Imagine being a joke. Imagine people thinking of you and cringing, because you are detestable in so many ways, that to bring you to mind makes another's lip curl in derision. A friend of mine pointed out that this must be very hard on a narcissistic ego. And isn't it the narcissists proudly parading and propagating, that have us recoiling in disdain and disgust?

I read an informative book that gave me insights into dangerous personality types. The book is thorough, and has lengthy questionnaires to help the reader assess whether or not they are dealing with someone that is devoid of conscience: someone that may be lethal to mental, emotional, spiritual, psychosocial and sometimes physical, well-being. In simple terms, some people are killers; would be victims need to know how to differentiate them from a regular person that can sometimes be mean, but not cruel enough to murder a soul. The wicked are adept at subtle onslaughts that eventually become cascading criticisms and crushing tirades, designed to drop others into subservient submission. 

A quote from your new foe fighting friend, Joe Navarro "There are two kinds of people in this world : those who fill your cup, and those who drain it."

I have had clients over the years that described behaviours from their mates or relatives, that were so bizarre and scary, I had to get them to work through the very long questionaries in this book. When answering the yes or no questions, it would dawn on them that they had been dealing with someone that clearly, was not interested in reciprocal relationship. I would see shock and then relief register, once they realized that it wasn't them, it was the other person, that was missing some elemental relational items in their psyche and soul. 

My clients thought they were doing something wrong. They thought the person that they loved needed more care, more time, more something, but they could not figure out what they had to do to make the relationship better. When we investigated all the ways they had attempted to "fix" the problem, it was an exhaustive accounting! And that is preciously how it is to negotiate relationship with a narcissist, they will tire you out until you are threadbare, but they ain't done with you until you are an emotional wreck, and so insecure you are afraid to even try anymore ... self-doubt smothers the confidence it takes to live life fully. 

Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! (Isaiah 5:20)

If you feel confused after spending time with someone it may very well be, that they have done a swap of evil for good, darkness for light, bitter for sweet ... leaving you feeling awful in the dark with a bitter taste in your mouth!

Now let's look at those that profess ownership of you and me and the assets of this world. I call them all the names in the book Joe wrote ... the descriptors match them perfectly and it would be oh so helpful, for the citizens of this world, to educate themselves on what to look for, so that we can move out of the category of hapless helpless victimhood, into empowered emboldened confidence, to challenge the nonsense and call these wicked ones a joke in all their pretences. 

Dear reader, clowns are not funny, they are hideous and horrifying. Narcissists can smile with painted on pretend faces, but underneath the mask, underneath their feigned badges of self-declared honour, beats the hearts of mercenaries devoid of compassion, empathy, care, thoughtfulness, kindness ... they are the vile ones that cause lip curling revulsion. We need to see them this way, or be torn apart with our trying to change them. They are vicious ... make no mistake. 

When a man is without conscience, he is a dangerous predator.