Conversation With Things Undone

It is amazing what a person can get done, when they do what they don't want to do.

I sat mesmerized by my good friend as I watched her in a short instagram video. She held a golden egg between her pointer finger and thumb, while saying: I found the last golden egg. The egg was a previously hidden and undiscovered by her grandchildren easter chocolate, and she considered it a prize to be savoured. In the video, Keli shared her plans of making herself a cup of tea and delighting in the milk chocolate treasure.

When I spoke to my friend about the video, I said something along the lines of: Keli, I would have had a tin foil wrapper in my hands, minus the chocolate, and there is no way I would have taken the time to steep tea to savour the one egg. How did you manage to hold off from eating one little egg? She shared with me that she practices waiting, which is not a new concept, since it is otherwise known as delayed gratification, but then she added that she has trained herself to do the things she does not want to do; hmmm, this intrigued me greatly. Keli mentioned the salient network in the brain, and I looked this up, but found it too technically challenging to translate into action, so, I did the very next best thing: I began my own practice of discipline, namely, doing what I don't want to do, to retrain my brain. 

Here are the underlying themes that we are addressing:

1.  Self-discipline

2. Delaying gratification

3. Retraining the brain - Doing the things we do not want to do, to retrain the brain and positively impact our choices and outcomes. 

Self-discovery

What I discovered is how many things I really don't want to do that I know, or think, must get done. For instance, making my bed, right now, doesn't have to get done, but I do believe it ought to be made. My mother taught me in childhood that making the bed was not optional, it was a must. My mind says things like, There are more important things to do ... make the bed later. So, I make my bed, since my thoughts suggest holding off. There are little bits and pieces of work, when left undone, that make us feel undressed, incomplete, unfit to face the bigger ticket items on our checklist. After making my bed, there is a litany of tiny activities that I must engage in to make life orderly, and I know you have your own list; mine is not required for you to think of yours. 

What I noticed, when I considered what I don't want to do, is all the things that hang out in the dusty back corner of the closet of my mind, that seem to whisper, Hey, remember when you said you wanted to ... 

Instead of having a conversation with Things Undone, I started doing. What don't I want to do, right now, this minute, this second, became the question that demanded action. The underlining themes, recall, are: 

1.  Self-discipline 

2. Delayed gratification and;  

3. Retraining the brain - Doing the things we do not want to do, to retrain the brain and positively impact our choices and outcomes. 

Let us revisit the chocolate scenario I mentioned above. Keli and I are extreme opposites in so many delightful ways; when I look at some of my ways, I simply cannot abide myself. When I see how elegantly and masterfully Keli reigns in her carnal, or more precisely, chocolate urges, I want to emulate. I laugh as I type because anyone that knows me understands my deep and abiding love for chocolate: while I was pregnant with my son, the stuff didn't agree with me, but I ate it anyway ... now that is dedication - or foolishness?! 

And maybe that is the point. How very foolish we can be when we do what we ought not to do and do not do what we ought! (see Romans 7:19-25) when we leave undone the important things of life, in favour of easy, finger tip, or tip of the tongue in the case of chocolate, fast consumption, without thought of future consequences. To pull bed making back onto the scene, combined with too much chocolate eaten, we see what can go awry:

● Not making my bed is slovenly and perhaps I will be slovenly with many other things throughout the day, including the work I do with clients

● Eating more chocolate then is reasonable can, and often does, impact how many other empty calories I consume in a day, adding excess weight to my body

These are simple examples that are meaningful to me, not because they are vastly important, but because they highlight the ease with which I self-indulge, display a lack of patience in the waiting, and how my brain deserves some attention regarding unlearning and retraining ... so ... this is what I have done.

🔥 I do now what my thoughts say, Do later

🔥 I set a timer if I want something now, teaching my body to wait

🔥 While the timer is doing its count down, I find something else to do that my mind says I don't want to do

Dear reader, my driving point is this: I don't want to have continual conversations with Things Undone. I don't want to say, I wish I had, I should have, why didn't I? I don't want Regret, Remorse, and What A Waste Of Time, to have their say in my psyche, or in my soul. I want to hear this from my Lord:

His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord (Matthew 25:21) 

What I want and what I don't want must be considered and addressed, so that I can be on track with my desire to please my Maker. We must think about our own behaviours and look about for someone that inspires us to be elegant, tasteful, and self-controlled, like my friend Keli. She does the things she does not want to do, and I admire her greatly. 

So, it is your turn now. What don't you want to do, and what are you willing do differently to retrain your body and brain for more positive outcomes?

Maturity is displayed in the level of responsibility we are willing to admit to in our personal, private, and public lives. 

Whatever must you do, now, dear one, that your thoughts insist, Do later? 

NOTE: Doing what you don't want to do includes having challenging conversations with people you may not want to have, because it changes dynamics. Doing what you don't want to do, includes processing trapped and stale emotions that have you stuck in the basement of your soul, holding your mind captive for want of ventilation. 

Doing what you don't want to do will drastically alter your life, and, you will be the better for it: of this, I am confident. 

Go do, what you don't want to do