Strange Tranquility

I am experiencing a strange tranquility that does not match circumstances. I have asked God to please help me understand this dichotomy, and perhaps in my writing, and sharing with you, some light will shine onto this quandary, illuminating my limited comprehension. 

My sister died last week. It was just last week ... how can it be that on July 8th, she left this world, and it is already July 17th? I feel the fade, dear reader, the space of time that has passed is erasing her touch, her scent, her effervescent lively presence, in this physical realm. There is evidence of her existence everywhere I look, and her personality was so very large that I will never forget her; alas, the fade is real and I long for her presence, not in things she left behind, but the real honest to murgatroyd her: the kooky, childlike, playful, energetic, enthusiastic, hippity-hop-go-get-'em-tigerbunny that she was. She had whimsy and could laugh until bent over, legs crossed, and that brought everyone in the room to a state of heightened hilarity, as we laughed right along with her, until tears formed out of sheer delight. 

Dear one, the fade started before she departed. Each time I saw her, I could feel the end coming and when I would leave her the sadness started, the anticipating that one day I wouldn't see her again. Ever get that feeling, the, Is this the last time sense, that months turn into weeks, then days, hours, and minutes, until finally, there is that last minute, the one that means we part company in the most hideous of ways: death is a cruel thief.  

I recognize my strange tranquility started last week, as I recall life's most recent events. I prayed a lot while my sister Antonella was still in the clay tent, the shell that housed her soul. But I wasn't the only one: believe me or not, dear one, but I could feel the saints praying on behalf of my family. I could feel the love, the warmth of an embrace without visible hands or arms. My family grieved and talked and soothed one another, we embraced often, and that was a comfort too ... and all the while, I felt something more, that inexplicable yet tangible, something more. 

I cannot help but acknowledge how very much God loves each of His creatures. He loved my sister, and dear reader, He loves you too. 

I have some of her jewelry, some of her clothes. I wore her pjs to bed two nights in a row ... the pants have Garfield all over them, with a baby pink background. These might seem childish, but do recall Garfield and some of his attitudinal ways: sometimes cartoon characters make fun of life and relationships in ways we cannot, because someone might get their nose out of joint if we were to be THAT HONEST! Antonella could be catitudinal, and that was part of her charm.

Antonella, adieu, my sweet sister, you will be missed beyond measure.

Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur 

Soft kitty, warm kitty, purr purr purr

 I love you deeply, and I'm glad God gave you to me as my big sister. 

Dear reader, if you do not have a relationship with the Saviour of the world, now is the time to get acquainted. We do not know the when, where, or how, of pending death, while knowing that it WILL, happen our day sooner or later. My comfort is found in God's wisdom, and I hope you go to His Word for this strange tranquility too, as the perfect supply of a peace that truly does, surpass all understanding. God's righteous providence is incomparable. 

Psalm 23

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, thou I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.