Highly Annoying People

NOTE: Bear with me, my plan is to deliver some humour, despite my opening paragraphs. 

Recall the days of old, when motivational books flew freely, and seemingly of their own accord, off shelves and into the held up high and waiting hands of sales people of all shapes and sizes. To be motivated and establish your very own elevator speech, that captured the imagination and cash of your captive short-trip-up-or-down audience, meant you could get rich! Crowds of humans spent countless dollars on seminars, conferences, audio and in-print books, and on pre-recorded tapes and courses, to learn how the masters did it, meaning, made their millions. 

Gone are those big old anyone can be recruited to prosper days, only to be replaced with shell events, where the spirit has gone out of the thing, and it is a hollowed out shadow of its former self. Superfluous comes to mind as the word to describe how business is now conducted. Customer care and service are becoming has-beens, almost forgotten friends from an era marked with the old fashioned idea that relationship matters, with work excellence being marred, while everyone is treated as just one more. 

With my rather depressing opening, I grin at what I plan on sharing next! I discovered a little book in a used book store that promised to tickle my sardonic fancy, and I tell you dear reader, it did not disappoint! As a comical spin-off from the book that became a massive series phenomena, namely The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, written in 1989 by Steven Covey, BAD DOG PRESS published The Habits of 7 Seven Highly Annoying People, in 1996. If you are anything like me, you have some people in your life that can be described as ranging from being irksome, to down right vexatious. Trying to figure out what bothers us about their behaviours can be an arduous endeavour, so when writers hit the nail on the human head, describing perfectly what we might have seen, heard, or experienced, it can be a relief for the soul to be set free from believing that we aren't the only ones that have suffered from having to relate to Mr or Ms/Mrs, annoying! I will not go into all the 7 types of people outlined in the book, but will relate the one that grabbed my attention most recently, and had me saying, YES, that's IT!

Mr. Aggressive caught my eye when reading about his highly annoying habits. These two sentences, did the trick for me, dear reader:

1. He's in control and he'll go to any ends to make sure they know that and, here is the how to part...

2. Mostly with contradictory behaviour and subliminal attacks at others' self-esteem 

Mr or Ms/Mrs Aggressive, is an out of control control freak, dear reader, that hasn't the self-awareness to see the damage they cause, because quite frankly, they don't care about your feelings or mine; what they care about is being rightfully in charge, as the smartest most brilliant person in the room ... or out of the room, or in the vicinity of the room... or ... anywhere near or far from a room.

I heard a line once from an aggressive type that had me laughing, almost in disbelief, because it was such a consolation to hear the person finally acknowledge what I knew to be true of them: You know, Linda, I know this isn't right, but I think I'm always right. In my head a voice yelled, You aren't crazy, you aren't CRAZY! There was a fast talking chatterbox that followed the yeller, reminding me that all those insecure feelings I felt around so and so, the ones that had me second guessing myself, were due to subliminal attacks, meant to undermine my self-esteem. They were contradictory arguments complimented by contradictory behaviours imposed on me by an aggressor, that simply cannot stand anyone else getting any sort of acknowledgement or recognition, without them being seen as the one that deserves credit, even when they have nothing at all to do with the successes of others. But I will tell you what, dear reader, they often have a lot to do with the failures of others, especially when they have influence, power, or control over those that may be vulnerable to their very adept and finely tuned subliminal, and often times obviously aggressive, attacks. 

Vainglory, dear reader, is the sulky sin that these aggressors display when they do not get their own way. Try as they might to rectify their ways when they realize it is something they are doing that repels others, they can't seem to help themselves, and simply return to what appears to be their self-satisfying factory setting. Every once in a while I feel sincerely sorry for this type of character, because while they like people, they really can't stand them, and that shows up whenever someone else threatens to shine, even if it is ever so dimly. This type of person misses out on intimacy in relationship, because no one can trust them. Believe me when I say, trusting a charming aggressor when they are feigning sweetness, leads to much irritation and disappointment, and that feeling of, dang it déjà vu, here I am again.

Remember this, if you are working with or around an Aggressive Mr/Ms/Mrs: Ya can't please 'em, even when you agree with them! They always up the anti, and will find more things when you are in a weakened state to get you to agree to that you clearly said you didn't believe in multiple times in the past, and it will give them the sick satisfaction of winning that they so savour, while you will go off in a huff muttering miserably, once again. This annoying type has endless energy for proving themselves continually correct and obviously, the wisest person in your life that deserves constant kudos. 

Once you figure this out, you will be free, dear one, not of the aggressor of course because lets face the facts, sometimes certain people are integral persons in our lives, (I am fairly confident you and I may very well be described as annoying too, probably by Mr/Ms/Mrs Aggressive of course, for pushing back all the time) but of your almost automated reactions to them. You get to decide you don't care what they think because what they think changes depending on whether or not it puts them in a position of power and being right at the expense of other. You get to say to yourself, I will stay in relationship but they will not rattle my chain.

Sure, this will take some practice, but it is worth it, dear one, AND, added bonus: Once you figure out that you simply do not care what an aggressive imposer thinks about what you do or how you think, you will find yourself thinking about and doing what you really love to do without a voice critiquing and criticizing you constantly! Making mistakes won't make you feel as badly as they once did, and recovery from them becomes much faster, when the aggressor no longer has a say in your head, or in your ear for that matter.

Remember, God gave you a brain, talents, ability, and the heart of a lion. You get to roar without rationalizing if you so choose, or purr like a cuddly kitten if that is your inclination, but you don't have to get out those claws of yours and scratch someone else's itch when they want to engage you in a battle of wits. 

Mr/Ms/Mrs Aggressive can go play by themselves, and you get to say, I just don't care what they think, and mean it.