Paddle Ball

While at the gym this afternoon, I had the pleasure of gaining insight from an experienced soon to be retired police officer. We spoke about broken families and he had some encouragement that he shared for parents in the throws of dealing with a child who has taken the path of doing drugs. Here is the metaphor he used. Family is like a paddle ball. Do you recall playing with one of these Dear Reader? It is a board that looks like a ping pong paddle with a rubber ball attached by an elastic string. In this metaphor, the board are the parents, the ball is the child and the elastic string are the rules that attach the ball to the board. As the child, the ball, bounces around here there and everywhere, rebounding off of the board, the board sometimes follows the ball. I am not sure if you have experienced this with a child or perhaps, you were once the ball, with parents desperately trying to track you, following your every move, hoping to return you to the safety of the board, the family? At any rate, while paddle ball may be a bit of coordination challenging fun, this situation of child on drugs is not so entertaining for frantic parents, desperate to retrieve their child from the edge of possible disaster and destruction. Dear Reader, regardless of your circumstances, this metaphor can and does work for many situations. Here is the uplifting part of what I learned today through David. This wise observer of human nature told me that if the board stays still, remains firm and steady, rules intact, the ball usually returns to the board, to the family. In his experience, he said that it is rare for a ball, a child, not to return to the board, grateful for the stability and safety it offers. This man has had many young people find him, years after he sternly told them how rules work, to have them thank him and tell him, I hated you at the time but you were right. Maybe your kids hate you right now. Maybe they want to cut the string that tethers them to you. Maybe you fear that you have made mistakes, done things incorrectly, that it is somehow your fault that the ball, the child, wants to bounce away from you and steer clear of returning. I don't know what is going on for you but I do know that this analogy is so simple and accurate, that most of us can relate. Were you a rubber bouncy escape ball, rejecting your parents, trying to make your own way, own rules? Do you have a bouncy ball in your life right now, driving you mad, to distraction? The ball usually returns to the board, this is what David told me as a close to our conversation...hope is for the hopeful Dear One. Keep hoping, never lose hope, and one day, you will be reunited with the bouncy ball that did not get away and chose to return.