Off with their heads

Ouch, you just punched me in the ego, how very dare you, off with your head...ever feel this way? I grin as I write this because it makes me think of the queen of hearts from Alice in Wonderland, chopping off the heads of those that inadvertently and most innocently insult or irritate her, and she was irritated, a lot. Heads will roll is another expression that comes to mind and the not so sublte threat of beheading by a dictator can send ripples of fear surging through those that know of the temper tantrum indulgent pseudo grown ups that enjoy ruling by might. In the me ness of our existence, the discomfort of rejection, of not being liked, understood, appreciated can cause a mass of insecurities that tangle and strangle and any hint of nonacceptance is jarring. Going deeper into the jarring is the sense that nothing I do/you do, is quite right, I/you messed up and there is no fixing this one, the beginning of the end is happening now and yikes, what have I done? This is a self beheading, I lie face down, place my neck in the groove of the guillotine and pull the rope that releases the weighted blade and with one precise slice, my head has been severed from my body...decapitation is complete. The image is gruesome and yet, this is the carnage that is suffered and self imposed daily by me/you at the worst of times. I don't know who said "I am my own worst enemy" but I'm happy to quote this person and add, I am my most avaibable and capable advocate, the battle for ground in my soul must be mine, hard won with perseverance, forgiveness and abandon to being a hot mess and sometimes being just oh so right. Thoughts engender feelings and visa versa, chasing them down, trapping them and making them explain themselves is my/your ticket to freedom. Much love for me/you, with Grace, Linda.