Accommodating Talent

Accommodating can be a nasty or lovely word, depending on the context. It means: fitting in with someone's wishes or demands in a helpful way. It can also mean: provide lodging or sufficient space for. In the first definition, the feeling or sentiment may have the flavour of obsequiousness giving relationship some imbalance. It is the second definition that we will enjoy together. 

I was coaching a client recently and while I was listening, I was really grateful for not interrupting her, mid sentence. There is a coaching skill called intruding and it is used in session when a significant point is made by the client and heard by the coach-it is not considered rude and it is agreed upon by both as part of the coaching relationship. I would like to say that I only use this skill strictly as a professional coach but this would be a lie-I not only intrude, I have been know to interrupt others, mid sentence...sometimes out of sheer boredom with what they are saying and sometimes out of necessity due to time constraints or I have to admit, irritation at the nonsense coming from their mouths (ok that was a lot of honesty, lets move on). So my client was speaking and I was about to interrupt, to intrude because I had an insight and instead, I remained quiet and listened and and, my jaw, it dropped open. I could barely sit in my seat and I had to ask, what do you mean? I was dumbfounded by HER insights, her deep gathering of brilliant observations and awareness and I was stunned into a state of gratitude and awe. If I had not provided sufficient space for her to share, if I had not accommodated her discernment, I would have failed her as a coach and only served myself and my ego, and we both would have known that an opportunity for growth was misplaced or lost somehow. I have to admit, accommodating someone else's talent is a lot of fun and I get PAID to do it! Oh, and the best part of all this is I am surrounded by talent, how cool it THAT? Happy New Year, I hope you and your talents are appreciated and accommodated greatly in 2016. 

Darkness

The situation is getting worse in this world of ours, with darkness pervading. God will only tolerate this for so long. There are lines being drawn in the sand, call them morals, values, ethics on one side and a blasphemous free for all on the other. I was raised as a Catholic and I am grateful for this upbringing. Honouring God and being reverent toward Him was taught experientially with much kneeling and standing, singing and corporate prayer. I did not realize this at the time and as a reflective adult, it dawns on me what early gifts were bestowed regarding my faith. Then there is The Cross...In the Old Testament, God established a sacrificial system of animals for celebrations, thanksgiving and atonement for sins. Animals without flaw would be slaughtered upon the altar, only the choicest animals were selected. He wanted His people to remember Him, to acknowledge Him and to praise Him for rescuing them from slavery in Eygpt. God wanted His people to be in relationship with Him and in exchange, He was present, spoke to them, was their Heavenly King and He filled the temple with His majesty, causing the people to fall face down in worship and awe. He was and is God Almighty and when people honour Him, He blesses abundantly. The sacrifices were a prelude, a foreshadowing of the final sacrifice. In church, above the altar, I see the cross, Christ crucified there, The Perfect Lamb of God, slain for the sins of the world. Above the altar, the cross is ideally placed as a visual reminder of past requirements and current reality, that we, I, you, cannot possibly do or say or be enough to pay for what we have said and done to ourselves and each other. God in His mercy sent someone to take our place and we are beholden. In a darkened world, the way I speak, the way I love God is repugnant, nonsensical and ridiculed and I ask, how is what is happening ok, acceptable and laudable? Humans, left to their own devices, are inclined to self adorning, idolizations and exactly what is currently happening all around us, Godless fearless rape, murder, and vile Satanic indulgence. There, I said it, Satanic. Now let's distill this further and personalize it. You are insulted, You say I am NOT a rapist, murderer or Satan worshiper, how dare she Include me in her rant? What is your sin than? Are you a liar, a cheat, gluttonous, alcoholic, abusive, lazy even? Come on now, you know yourself, what is your brand of poison?  Evil, darkness, they are as I said earlier, pervasive. Am I speaking a foreign language here or do you comprende? Let's go back to The Bible. We are no different from our predecessors. Evil is ancient and we are perpetually in a loop of behaviours and it is only a matter of time before the stop watch button is pressed and the count down is on. God is long on patience and slow to anger giving us a Grace period of choice. The sky is falling, yes indeed it is and I am ok with being one of many sounding the alarm, time is short. If this writing stirs you, perhaps you too sense what I do? Dark is getting darker, Bright is getting Blindingly Bright...the line in the sand is drawn. 

Convergence

Convergence~the tendency of unrelated animals and plants to evolve superficially similar characteristics under similar environmental conditions; a location where airflows or ocean currents meet. Meet and blend, meet and become similar in characteristics because of environment? Astounding, to know that unrelated animals and plants "evolve superficially similar characteristics" in such marvellous ways and why not, isn't that what nature does, adapt? Let's jump in on the action and look at airflow and ocean currents, the kind that allows for people like you, like me, to converge, to meet and evolve. We are not plants and animals, we are humans, created after a higher order of being, existing for more than mere adaptation in order to survive. One. Water is water and all water regardless of current is but One. Air is air, with directional flow changing it, not One bit. Water is not air and the two cannot be confused with One another, they are separate and distinguishably different. I am not you, you are not me and yet, we are One. Now let's ditch the existentialism and go for the big news. I cannot direct natures air flow, waters current or where you and I may meet as we converge. I could stay at home and ensure that I control my environment and the people NOT in it, but as soon as I exit my home, I am subject to the winds of change, the possibility of soaking by torrential rain and lastly, meeting YOU. How come, I mean what makes this big news? 1 Corinthians 8:6 puts it this way "Yet for us there is one God, the Father, from whom are all things and for whom we exist, and one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom are all things and through whom we exist." I picture myself on the boat, one of His disciples, and Jesus walking through the rain, wind whipping at His hair and robe and Him beckoning me, "come, walk to me on the water". Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things, through Christ who strengthens me." Convergence? Yes, I want to meet my God, the One and become soulfully similar by being in His presence. If we have met, it is His way, for His purposes and I am grateful...lets walk out to our Saviour, on water, together. 

Deference

Deference~polite submission and respect. Bow, curtesy and back away. There is something about the definition of deference that rubs me the wrong away, like I want to go back in there and do a rewind, mess up the order of things a little bit and not take myself or others too seriously. Here is what I'm thinking and what has me contemplating this idea of deferring to another. I will start with a question: have you ever been awed by someone, engaged in a little hero worship, and perhaps given them more consideration in decision making than was equitable, only to discover that your deference to their opinions and will was an error in judgement on your part? The confusion starts with a healthy respect for another who is deemed as accomplished and knowledgeable, capable of leading the way. The art of mentoring is experiencing a rivival of sorts and is an invaluable gift from the learned to the novice. In the context of mentor and mentee, their is a sense that politely sitting at the feet of teacher or might I say Rabbi, with awe and respect, is appropriate, and somehow sweetly submissive. There is an agreement, an understanding that the relationship is based on guidance with the mentee being led unto themselves. I'm not talking about a healthy agreement, I'm talking about unconscious submission, a giving way to another because it is somehow easier or perhaps even safer? When than, does it become something else, this deference? I'll tell you when, at least from my own experience. It is when insecurity is heightened in that persons company; it is when speaking to that person requires careful thought and consideration with many a polite detour in getting to a point; it is when you see them or hear their name and dread the thought of an encounter. How about this...your lip curls at the thought of their voice and their facial expressions. Above, I mentioned a rewind, a not taking myself or others to seriously and I meant this because I want equitable relationships with everyone I meet which means they don't have to change a thing, I do. I don't want to defer to another AND I definitely want for others to feel safe in my company without the urge to defer to me. Here is what the Bible suggests in its very centre Psalm 118:8 "It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man." I will sit at the feet of my Saviour in awe of His Majesty, submitting to Him only. Sweet liberty from human flaws and failings, God's love is Perfect and endures forever. 

The Chosen Ones

Christmas Eve morning, 2015. I had an early coffee date with a close friend, starting my day off just right. He is a chosen friend and I like to brag that I have excellent taste and I am inclined to taking credit for spotting the best chocolate in life's box. I am laughing at this because there is chocolate of the mundane give me a headache variety and than, there is tongue running over the lips in anticipation rich melt in the mouth mmmmmm variety of REAL savour the flavour chocolate. Which kind do YOU want? Ok ok, back to my excellent taste. My very closest friends have all been of the highest quality and variety of chocolates, they are the delectable ones. I can spot them and feel their gravitational pull within moments of being in their presence. A really astounding narrowing in on them feeling comes over me as everything else fades and disappears. In a room full of people, they end up being the only ones that I can see and hear, the chosen ones that get my full on attention and almost immediate affection. I am a good listener when it comes to hearing the internal cues that point me in the direction of go, speak with THAT one, you are meant to be friends with him/her. Big breath with happy sigh, I have some amazing friends and playmates. So my morning coffee partner, he is one of the chosen ones, lucky him! I am laughing again as I write this because to take me too seriously would be a mistake-I am not arrogant, I am confident. Confident that I am led by God, that He wants me to go see, go do, be with His matches for me. When I feel the inexplicable pull to another, it is natures push that sets me off in pursuit of something yet to be tasted, explored, savoured. If happy taste buds can be compared to soul satisfaction, it is the edifying of my soul and the expansion of another with me as witness that makes me follow Gods leading every time I dare to step out and toward another to capture some intangible delight that awaits me. You can wait to be picked and perhaps even rejected, or you can allow your homing pigeon like natural abilities to lead you to your own soul candy, your own chosen ones, the ones that God designed to be your playmates. Warning, your chosen ones will make you laugh, cry, spill your guts all over the table between you and make you want another coffee or lunch date immediately. Declarations of love may be in your future.  

Wanderlust

Bottom to top, this is how I decided to read an email from a friend. I have met people that read the ending in books before they start the book~they start at the end, final page, rather than from page 1. I don't really understand why and maybe I will by the end of this writing, but I'm sure they have their reasons. Today I scrolled to the bottom and read to the top of my pals email and this experience delighted me. My friend has a lot of joy and we have similar life approaches. We are sorters. We sort through our thoughts and feelings looking for meaning, hoping to make sense and understand what it is we are meant to learn, to know, from our experiences. Starting from the bottom of her email I got to the pot of gold, her gorgeous life affirming epiphanies and as I worked my way up, I had the delight of seeing how she had traveled through the muddied waters of her pysche, always knowing that she would find a soul refreshing waterfall to cleanse herself under after her travels. She has hope and faith and this is where her joy is generated. Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things unseen. We have within us this great capacity for wanderlust, defined as: a very strong or irresistible impulse to travel; an instinctive motive; "profound religious impulses". In wanderlust, flying becomes soaring, breathing becomes inhaling the richness of life and having becomes abundance. As I explored my friends email, bottom to top, I saw her sky high, this followed her leap from a precarious perch. A gorgeous vision to behold. Where she wants to be is set in her minds eye and the vision is stunning...she is currently at a take off point, readying herself for the flight of her life. Most best selling books have a logical and uplifting conclusion. Perhaps the reading from back to front, from bottom to top is a search for evidence of things unseen and yet already known, through hope? Understanding it all isn't essential, because wanderlust is made of dreams and it cannot be pinned down, tethered to earthly substance. My friend, the sorter, gave me these wise words to finish this piece "...so long as we arrive at the conclusions He meant for us to arrive at~the ones He gave us in the first place." God knows the whole story, back to front, bottom to top and he reveals Himself in the mystery of faith as we live our lives front to back. It is Good to know Him, The Original Author of Life, trusting in His plan.

Triggers and Donald Trump

Trigger-a small device that releases a spring or catch and so sets off a mechanism, especially in order to fire a gun. Alternatively, a trigger can be defined as-an event that is the cause of a particular action, process, or situation. My husband and I have been entertained by Donald Trump. Watching this narcissist display his "extreme selfishness, with a grandiose view of one's own talents and a craving for admiration" is both riveting and alarming. Look at the first definition of trigger above. What do you suppose the small device is in Donalds' brain that sets off his self serving spring, allowing him to shoot off his mechanistic mouth, with endless rounds of gibberish and non-sensical rhetorical bouts of stupidity? Now take a look at the second definition of trigger above. While watching this egomaniac it becomes clear that any threat to his self image demands a particular action and in his case, a verbal response in the form of attack and banishment from his Trump kingdom, putting an "end, an end to it all". The dictionary describes this type of behaviour as a personality disorder. I am not a clinician, I am an observer, dumbfounded by the complete lack of judgement of a man on rampage, running for President of The United States of America. More alarming than this, is the possibility of a popular vote for this strange little man...my natural inclination is to not watch, to not give him the time of day and yet, the world is a scary and scared place and I must watch this train wreck waiting to happen, if only in the high hopes of ultimately seeing a derailment, a full stop put on this one car driving without an engineer's license maniac. Thats my rant for the day, plus this: Proverbs 10:19 "When there are many words transgression is unavoidable but he who restrains his lips is wise." Oh and I can't resist this one while I'm at it: It is better to be silent and thought the fool than to speak and remove all doubt...yes, I wrote this while smirking.