Deference

Deference~polite submission and respect. Bow, curtesy and back away. There is something about the definition of deference that rubs me the wrong away, like I want to go back in there and do a rewind, mess up the order of things a little bit and not take myself or others too seriously. Here is what I'm thinking and what has me contemplating this idea of deferring to another. I will start with a question: have you ever been awed by someone, engaged in a little hero worship, and perhaps given them more consideration in decision making than was equitable, only to discover that your deference to their opinions and will was an error in judgement on your part? The confusion starts with a healthy respect for another who is deemed as accomplished and knowledgeable, capable of leading the way. The art of mentoring is experiencing a rivival of sorts and is an invaluable gift from the learned to the novice. In the context of mentor and mentee, their is a sense that politely sitting at the feet of teacher or might I say Rabbi, with awe and respect, is appropriate, and somehow sweetly submissive. There is an agreement, an understanding that the relationship is based on guidance with the mentee being led unto themselves. I'm not talking about a healthy agreement, I'm talking about unconscious submission, a giving way to another because it is somehow easier or perhaps even safer? When than, does it become something else, this deference? I'll tell you when, at least from my own experience. It is when insecurity is heightened in that persons company; it is when speaking to that person requires careful thought and consideration with many a polite detour in getting to a point; it is when you see them or hear their name and dread the thought of an encounter. How about this...your lip curls at the thought of their voice and their facial expressions. Above, I mentioned a rewind, a not taking myself or others to seriously and I meant this because I want equitable relationships with everyone I meet which means they don't have to change a thing, I do. I don't want to defer to another AND I definitely want for others to feel safe in my company without the urge to defer to me. Here is what the Bible suggests in its very centre Psalm 118:8 "It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man." I will sit at the feet of my Saviour in awe of His Majesty, submitting to Him only. Sweet liberty from human flaws and failings, God's love is Perfect and endures forever.