Wound Collector

Recently I heard a descriptor for people that are offended often and easily; the man I was listening to, called them wound collectors. 

I have two questions for you: 

1. Do you have one of these people in your life?

2. Are you one of these people, a wound collector?

I take a liberty here by taking the concept of wound collecting, and describing three different types of people and their inner workings, as we navigate this topic together. 

Quick recovery 

When this person has been insulted, they feel the sting, but it does not penetrate the skin, and while they may feel slightly injured, there aren't long lasting feelings of anger, resentment, or a desire to replay and repeat the scenario in their heads, or out loud as a form of venting. They do not want to seek revenge, nor are they inclined toward vengeful mental meandering. Think duck, with insults rolling like droplets of water, right off the back. 

Indignant & Incensed Processor

When this person has been insulted, they react strongly and instantly, and may lash out, or feel like retaliating, to return the favour of having been wounded. Given time, and wise council, or even someone trustworthy to hear them express their irritation, upset, hurt, and any other emotion that goes along with feeling attacked, they will more than likely be defused, by sorting out what got them red hot mad. This person will attempt to make sense of the situation that agitated, but they do not re-feel the experience when replaying what occurred. Over the next couple of weeks, or even days, depending on the event that ignited their fury, they will continue to process until they feel satisfied with a sense of resolution, and after a cooling down period, they can recall what upset them, but the feverish feelings have faded, and they are disinclined to retell or relive the story. Think sponge, that absorbs, but can be wrung out to dry. 

Wound Collector

When this person perceives a slight, which can be a frequent occurrence for such a one, they have a tendency to memorize whole conversations, often displaying the talent of verbatim reiteration. The wound collector can he said she said until all the cows come home to roost (sometimes I mix me metaphors, just to see if you are paying attention), and it disturbs them to no end, when they share how offended they were by what so and so did to them. They believe in malice and that people are out to get them, and that bad intentions are hidden in the hearts of family, friends, neighbours, colleagues. Everyone is a potential enemy, and it is with passionate fervour, that they retell their injury stories, over and over again, even if their listening audience has heard these tales before, and perhaps, have heard them repeated for decades! This kind of person is forever collecting wounds that cut them to the quick, and they reopen the soul gashes, via actively reliving the scenarios in which they were affronted. Rumination and perseveration, have them obsessing over perceived insults that may, or may not, have been intentionally inflicted. It is a rather difficult feat, to maintain intimate relationship with the wound collector, because one might at any given moment, say, or do, precisely the right thing, to set them off, and turn you into a monster in their mind. Think walking wounded, with festering lacerations, salted with words so that the opening never heals. You may be featured in the wound collectors stories, so beware of their tendency to backbite. 

Now after reading what you have just read or perhaps during, did you see yourself in any of the descriptions? or perhaps, did you recognize some people in your life that you think fit into one, or two, of the categories?

I am inclined to being an indignant and incensed processor that picks up a quick recovery kind of feeling as time passes; as unpleasant incidents take their place in the past. I do not hold grudges or wish anyone ill, and details fade, so that I sometimes do not at all recall, exchanges with others that caused me angst, heartache, sorrow, sadness, anger, irritation, and the like. More often then not, I get agitated with my own attitudes and behaviours that need some correcting, but I do not think too long or hard, on the missteps of others, and wouldn't it be grand, if they too, held lightly, any affronts they experienced while relating to me? 

And perhaps, dear one, that is my driving point in sharing with you. It is a sweet gift from me to you, or you to me, if we have crossed over a pain threshold, and offer each other forgiveness when wounded. We have all suffered slights, insults, and soulful injuries, and we have all inflicted pain too: no one is innocent, in fact, look at children interacting with one another - sometimes they bite, swat, punch, trip, trick one another, just for the thrill of getting a reaction, or retaliating when they deem it necessary to settle a score. When children mature after being taught empathy, they know to be conscientious about their impact, and to hopefully, forgive, because they have been forgiven. 

I will end our time together with the heart of God instructions, found in Ephesians: 

Ephesians 4:31-31

Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.