Clean As You Go

Pots and pans, encrusted with remnants from a meal recently cooked, need soaking in soapy water, and perhaps a little scrubbing, to get clean. I am a clean as I go kinda gal, since a messy kitchen can add unwanted mental strain, to a wanna-be chef extraordinaire. 

If left, without soaking, without light scrubbing, those pots and pans can turn into an annoying hour long cleaning event, to return them to spick and span ready, for the next bout of cooking. What could have been quick and easy, can turn into an activity that is unappealing, and feels like drudgery. 

Now look with me, dear one, at relationships, that are marked with remnants of unresolved issues, left to get crusty, to harden, and to mar intimacy and trust. Are you, a clean as you go kind of person? I am: I like to discuss, to rectify, to make clear, in order to get what stands between me, and someone I care about, out of the way. 

The olive branch can be light when first extended. The olive branch of peace is an offering that when accepted, reunites two, that may feel pulled ever so slightly apart. If the branch is never extended, never offered, and therefore, never accepted, the pulling apart continues, until the separation between two, is so great, there is never a path back to unity, in sight. 

What of someone that extends the branch, but the other refuses to accept, turns their back, and walks away? Have you had this happen to you? I have, and to say it is an unpleasant experience is an understatement, especially when previously, there was a lot of soul brushing and compassionate caring. 

I think of all the conversations that have never been had. I think of all the times that I haven't listened, or the times when someone hasn't listened to me, and how damaging this was to the fraying relationship. Drudgery again comes to mind, when I consider how impossible it has been to reconcile with some people, and conversely, how exciting and inviting too, it has been, to have heart to heart connections with people I feel are my others, in the resolving of minor or major, differences of opinion, perceptions, or points of view. There can be a meeting of the minds, but I find this to be a very rare and brilliant experience to have, and mostly, this happens for me, when I relate to God fearing, Bible believing, Christ adoring, Christians. 

The Bible is a make-no-mistake go to place. God is consistently God, and he is repetitive in the Word, because we learn by repetition. Repeatedly God gives instructions and repeatedly, we either ignore them, deny them, pretend they are something they are not; we misconstrue, we adapt, we adjust, and we accommodate ourselves and others in ways that suit our current beliefs, and all this while deviating from commands. We compromise ourselves, our very souls, when we deviate from his commands!

There isn't a human being that has not compromised their own integrity to accommodate someone, or a group of someones, that they want to please. One of the biggest insults I received from a personal training client, when I was a freshly minted entrepreneur, was to be called accommodating. That stung and stuck with me. I have had to really look at what this meant as it pertained to my character. As a daughter of strong minded and imposing parents, I know I have had to work extra hard to learn where they ended, and I began - in other words, I had to figure out what I believe, separate from outside influences. The Bible, has been my single best and forever teacher, and while I appreciate (generally speaking of course) the opinions and perspectives of other human beings, it is God that I want to please, and God that I trust to steer me in the right direction; accommodating the wants, the demands, the impositions of other humans, does not factor into my choices, nearly as much as it used to, and yet still, there is that desire we all have, to accommodate, so that we can connect with someone that seems out of reach. 

I love all of the Old Testament accounts of faithful men being fallen men. Recorded for posterity, we see men of God given his commands, and speaking to him directly, and then foolishly, compromising their relationship with him, because they just couldn't get past themselves! They just couldn't get past being friends with people that did not love, honour, and obey, God Almighty, despite all he had done for them!!! Man alive, is this not exactly how we are, as modern day humans, with old as sin souls?

Think with me:

Aaron, the first priest, crafted a golden calf for pagan worship

King David, took Bathsheba to please himself, and had her husband killed

King Solomon, David's son, worshipped idol gods, to please his heathen wives

These are just a few of the major missteps noted for our admonishment. When we go against God's will, there are repercussions: read The Bible and learn for yourself, what happened to these men, that disobeyed God's commands. God forgives those of us that repent, and dear one, we must all, repent. 

We return now to the clean up imagery, and I suggest to you, that there may be in your life, some pots and pans that are encrusted and need some soapy scrubbing attention. It may be that you have left them a little too long, and your attempts to get them sparkling again will require much elbow grease, but it is worth the effort, dear one. You do not want to throw out pots and pans that are of value, and worthy of the work... it other words: start a conversation with that certain someone that you care about, that you love, that you see is slipping away for want of knowing what you think and how you feel. It may be that they are hoping to hear from you, and that it is your turn, to make an effort to put things right. 

Conversations can be difficult to start, and daunting to consider, but it is in the communicating that critical change happens, and you have within your control, the ability to be the one, to start the flow of words, that cleanse away the ugly remnants, of misunderstanding.