Ocean Foothold

Bubbles glisten, shining diamonds riding the crests of waves, capturing the suns rays in tiny spheres. They are everywhere. Countless globes of pure light, they rise high and drop low, formed by the constant movement of the water they were created to decorate. Bracing against the waves becomes work, a fight for solid stable ground. Remaining in the same spot is near impossible and struggling to stay still is a fools game.

I belief I can make a foot hold

Closing the eyes, with arms floating atop the water soothes the soul. Forward, back, gentle soft nudge to the right and a splash of salty water in the face, I become a wave, a part of the never ending aliveness. Pulled toward shore and next pushed farther out into the deep has feet moving, tippy toe like. My foot, it sinks into the soft sand, an unexpected hole. I belief I can make this into a foot hold, a purchase of steadfastness. Alas, the ocean does not care, it is not interested in my resistance. It is not willing to accommodate my desire to have control over my own movements. Push pull, I am again, a wave. I decide, I decide to give in, to surrender. What am I surrendering, Dear Reader? Me, to Him. Eyes closed, I breath out I surrender. This is not the first time and so I add, I hope I really mean it this time God, please help me mean it with all of my being. I surrender my life, my family, my friends, my work, my hopes, my dreams, my soul to You. I surrender all to Your will. No safety net, no foothold, no plan B, no what ifs or there fore's. No negotiating or attempts at bargaining, trading, convincing…surrender. What if I did? What would happen then?

The air is filled with black and white seagulls

I hear a sound and my eyes open. Directly above me, mere feet away, the air is filled with black and white seagulls. They are circling, swooping, diving, gracefully scooping fish from just below the ocean surface. I hear a voice and my eyes drag away from the majestic sight. People are watching and speaking about the birds, from a distance…my eyes return to the birds. There are so many of them. A bird dives beak first into the water close by, fishing. It occurs to me that I must be surrounded by fish AND birds. This is a mystery to me and perhaps you can read a moral into this story, Dear Reader? I have yet to uncover what it is God wants me to know, to learn from this experience. I do know this: As a wave on the water, I became one, with Him, with them, the fish and then the birds…I am closer to surrender, to the ebb and flow, to the allowing rather than the struggling. One day, one wave at a time.