Monsters University and Co-Active Coaching

I watched the movie Monsters University last night, by myself. I couldn't help but think and feel that the whole movie was a replay of what I experienced from beginning to end in CTI's core curriculum coaching courses. I was delighted throughout because each of the characters reminded me of my fellow students and at times, myself, and as the story unfolded and the characters worked together for the common good, Co-Activity loomed large and beautifully on the screen. It's like Co-Active coaches wrote the whole thing!  The main character, a single eyed green ball with arms and legs, held a vision for himself and in the end, was okay with who he actually was, and stopped trying to be something other than.  This was poignant and sweet. I sat throughout the movie, mesmerized by the co-activity and then, in one of the last lines, Mike, the main character, gets called coach...maybe I am seeing co-activity everywhere, or maybe it just needs to be everywhere, either way, I was delighted that Disney captured the essence of co-activity in such a playful and rich way.  I wanna be a scary life coach, boo!

The Sacred Circle

On the last day of the Synergy course, student coaches were asked to close our eyes, and envision the many sacred circles of community that came before us, and the ones to come. We sat in splendid silence and as we did, I felt the presence of many, a surrounding behind and beside us, a holy uninion of all those who long for Heaven here on earth, past and present and future. When we were asked to open our eyes, I had trouble looking up, because the brilliance in the room made my eye lids feel protective of my eyes, I had to squint to see.  The powerful glow of intention, the intention to love fully, to see wholly, to believe deeply and without hesitation; the Light filled us up and flowed freely out in a tangible way.  The sacred circle brought me Home.

Best day ever

I often say "this is the best day of my life" and this makes friends laugh because they have heard it many times. Now when I say it, it is with the acknowledgement that it is THE ONLY day of my life. I like that, a lot. I decided that savoring my shower, the food I eat, the work I do, and the conversations I have, is a luxury I have denied myself in my busy bee mind. Somehow I had a longer, fuller day, without feeling mentally harassed by my own thoughts. I like this. We are pleased...that's said in my most elegant Queen tones.

Brain working, just barely

Synergy.  I am brain dead from the last of five CTI core curiculum courses. The weekend was a rich learning experience and I want to capture it in my memory, my heart, my DNA, but darn it, I am in lala land. This weekend we learned fierce courage for the sake of our fellow man...I am overwhelmed with the experience because there is no going back. I was blind but now I see.

Synergy

Yesterday I started Synergy. I love coaching more now than ever before because I am getting a glimpse, a taste, a touch of the transformational power available to coaches and clients alike within the coaching relationship. I used my full range of emotional expression yesterday as a coach and had eye locking moments of riveting honesty with one client in particular. I am altered and i glad for it. 

My Coach

My coach is a mighty powerful guy~he has the ability to ask just the right questions and with my answers, he uses laser point precision to get to the heart. I want to be an exceptional coach, to feeeeel what my clients have a hard time expressing; to know what my clients are afraid to know but so desperately want to  I wanna coach fearlessly for my clients well being...Thank-You Szossy St Germain, for the gift of namaste. 

Still a student

Today I go off to Toronto to complete the 5th and final core curriculum course with CTI. It's called Synergy, and I am anticipating lessons on melding the techniques and skills taught in previous courses, making me one super crazy awesome coach...the experiential learning is a must for me and CTI ensures that the learning environment is conducive to absorbing coaching, always forwarding the student to action.  It's easy, inopportunely natural to feel as though being an expert is for others, a pipe dream to the novice.  Today I choose a gratitude attitude and I am excited to go, absorb, be a sponge and soak up the wisdom offered while I experience coaching at its best and at times, at its worst.

The humanity in coaching

Today I coached a coach. I fumbled around, trying to think of creative and powerful questions to ask my client, to help her, but mostly ME, get in touch with what she wanted to work on today. I TRIED, that's the fall down in coaching, the trying. She is a great client/coach, because she is willing to coach me on what she needs in the moment.  About half way through the session, we began to hit a groove, and there was a firing between us, with understanding and forward movement. I was getting it and she was expressing it, whatever it was!  At the end of the session, I candidly told her that I felt like I was fumbling around, and she generously told me that is common in new coaching relationships...somehow, someway, the forgiveness factor in coaching always astounds me. In a world where mistakes aren't tolerable, especially in business (you can always be replaced), coaching is humane, kind, and honest. Perfection isn't the goal, relationship and understanding are.

Crossroads

Ever feel like you are doing a full on balancing act?  Walking the line between being polite and saying what you really think?  Staying when you feel like walking away.  Sitting still and paying attention when you feel like you just might jump out of your chair and run around in crazy circles because you can't stand being trapped, held captive because for whatever reason, you have agreed to be subjected to the role of student (read CPR/First Aid).  When my husband and I used to argue, I had a tendency to leave when things got heated. If I got uncomfortable and we reached an impass, I would remove myself from the conversation.  The last time he pointed this out to me, I stopped myself and returned physically and mentally, not to do battle, but to walk toward reconciliation Should I stay or should I go now?  Fight or flight is figuring prominently in my life, I feel I am at a crossroads. In coaching, it is recommended that when a client is going through a rough patch experiencing strong feelings and reactions, that the coach stays with the client. I am learning that it is the calm after the storm that yields the greatest insights. If I leave instead of stay, speak instead of listen, jump up and down rather than sit still, it may mean abondonment and death (if I ditch CPR/First Aid), to the other, the relationship, the opportunity to learn.  At this crossroads, I am looking down the one quick bunny trail, and the long winding road to I'm not sure where...

Dog Bites

I have been thinking about my dogs behavior lately and it has given me some cool insights into human behavior...WE ARE NOT ANIMALS, I STATE THIS EMPHATICALLY, but I I have to say that when a person, say, me, is threatened, I raise my voice, bare my teeth and snarl a little bit, or a whole lot,  depending on the circumstances.  Given the right, or should I say, wrong circumstances, I may even bite!  Yes, I know, I know, it is the age old fight or flight response, the response that diminishes brilliant human beings to wild, impulse driven animals, or so the theory goes. The fact that we are imbued with this unfathomable wiring as a built in defense mechanism is incredible to me and speaks to the brilliance of creation, but that is a whole other topic for another day.  Back to my dog now. My dog is a happy kinda guy, and every once in a while, I want him to do something he doesn't want to do, and he warns me, with a slight grrrrr and a scary show of teeth, that he is not interested. If I persist, he growls and tries to stay nice by slightly nipping at me.  When I push the limits, his limits, he bites, I have a puncture wound on my middle finger to prove it!  His intention wasn't to hurt me, but to protect himself...which leads me to me, and you, what and whom are you protecting yourself from?  If you find yourself snarling, teeth bared, ask yourself, what am I threatened by and do I really wanna bite?  Yeah, dogs are cool, people are cooler!

Patience and Stormy Weather

Patience, patience. Oh yeah, that means w a i t i n g.  I have a friend who has "the patience of Job", and I admire this quality greatly. He will sit, and wait, and listen, and listen some more, and then he waits until he is confident I am done talking, and throughout this listening, he will nod and maintain eye contact in an almost haunting way. It is disconcerting to have the singular attention of a friend. When it is Brian's turn to speak, he is engaging in a quietly powerful way, and I always know that he isn't  just waiting for me to "shut up" so he can talk, I ALWAYS know that he has HEARD me and acknowledges me and what I am thinking and feeling and expressing. The soul brushing that can happen during this type of exchange is extraordinary. Lately, I have heard impatience in my friends voice, there is an eagerness for change~even Job had his limits. I think of the storm we had recently, the middle of the night earth moving booms of thunder awakened many, and just as quickly, the gentle rain soothed many back to restful sleep.  Coaching is lightning flashes, gentle rain, and sometimes booming soul awakening thunder.  The combination leaves a lasting impression and sometimes you don't know that you were in a storm until you have survived one.

Fearlessly Forge Forward

What's different?  Fearlessness,  that's what is different.  The breaking free from the I shoulds, I have to's, I wish I had's...the words that represent regret and guilt and a wish that different choices had been made.  Regret is a teacher, and it speaks loudly to the soul.  There is an education in the regret, but if I choose to stay there, I remain in a holding pattern, a non-existence that serves no one and does me repeated harm.  Not good enough, that is the mantra that I see people living...the infinite possibilities that are available inspire me to fearlessly forge forward, FFF, and I want to take everyone with me. FFF is yours to claim..meet you over the finish line.

A Co-Active Coaching Portrait

The unearthing of meaning is delicate and intricate.  It requires a gentleness, with the softest of baby hair brush strokes. In my pre coaching days, I painted the world with broad brush strokes, selecting my colors from a limited pallet of my own choosing. Hahahaha, I am picturing people as paint by numbers characters and I am filling in the spaces with the 12 or so colors available that come in the kit-no room for creativity there!  Coaching is teaching me to listen for nuance, I am learning the art of subaudition;  I hear in shades and hues and subtle color changes.  Mixing my metaphors, yup!  Today I listened to my clients and they painted their own story, giving me a glimpse into their lives, just a snapshot of who they are, what matters most to them, what gives their life meaning.  I'm not the artist in someone else's life~as coach, I have the honor of baring witness to the artist in them, and this gives me much joy. Hire your coach soon...one is waiting for you to get in touch, with them and with YOU.

Breathing after full immersion

I am a new coach, green behind the ears. This means I am eager; I want to coach everyone; I want people I care about to dream big, live on purpose, tap into the amazing possibilities and joy that awaits them. Coaching has and is doing this for me.  During my last coaching weekend, my head was "held under the water" by an amazing man who knew what I needed when I needed it. He asked just the right question and it hit the mark, holding me in place so that I could look inside and see what was silently but persistently leading me by the nose, persistent thoughts that caused low level but also persistent free floating anxiety. Persistent is key, because we all have persistent thoughts, and without our permission, or knowledge most of the time, we are held captive by repetitive thoughts that seem to drag us this way and that, off course, like the tail wagging the dog, we unconsciously go and react and behave and say...you get the idea. Recently I was baptized. Before going under the water, before being fully emmersed, I had no idea the impact this symbolic act would have on my life. I died in Christ and rose again, my faith stronger than ever before. When I was powerfully coached,  my head was "held under the water". My coach knew that I would survive, that I would breath again, that I would be somehow new, stronger, and that I would also be free from the pervasive thoughts that had previously held me captive.  The Coach is brave for the client, He believes in the client, and He will take risks for the client when the client isn't strong enough to on their own. Coaching changes lives, let a coach help change yours for the better, today.

Socrates~all I know is that I know nothing

Socrates was quoted as saying "all I know is that I know nothing", this I learned in a philosophy course while in university. Holy cow, this expression has been like a ghost thought, breezing through my consciousness each time I make an assumption, only to discover how very off track I am...all I know is that I know nothing, until, that is, I ask the right questions.  The right questions don't come from me, my agenda, my slant, my perspective, they come unbidden, they are a tentative whisper, woeing me away from ego and toward resonance with the human being(s) I have in front of me.  The whisper is a sweet urging, other focused, intimately caring for the wellness of the client, friend, relative, co-worker...person.  Coaching is a walking along side the other, not a dragging them along to where you want them to go.  Coaching changes me everyday, and I am oh so grateful for it.  Hire YOUR coach today, or become a coach, the world will feel brighter and more hopeful for you when you do!

Injury unchecked

During a personal training session this morning, I noticed my young, rather fit client, had some muscle imbalances. A former athlete, the client had sustained some sports injuries and as a result, he had babied injured body parts and consequently, faulty movement patterns and overcompensation took over and have persisted unchecked ever since, despite physiotherapy and massage. Through postural ananylis, I was able to physically point to imbalances that he was unaware of, allowing for some mindful correction on his part. My point?  Many eyes are on us, and sometimes we get the help we need from professionals, but there is nothing like knowing, being made aware of, what is faulty and needs realignment, whether body parts, a mind set, a perception, a mode of interacting with others and the world.  Sometimes our bodies will alert us to a previous injury, and more often than not, we ignore the warning, carry on in our imbalanced and lopsided ways, only to find that the pain becomes more persistant, sometimes excruiating before we decide to do something about it.  Fixing the "problem" isn't the goal, knowing the root cause is helpful but not always necessary, knowing what you want, what you need, what you are willing to do to get there, that is most important, and a coach can help you "get there"

Conscious incompetence

It just so happens that whenever I try something new, I almost always believe that I will NEVER get to a level of proficiency.  In fitness, there is a learning curve, movement patterns have to be repeated in order to be incorporated into the body as a memory. My clients always say "you make that look so easy" when I demonstrate a move and the knowing trainer in me grins, because I have seen it a thousand times before, what is new becomes old and habit, and happens without conscious thought. In coaching, this is called unconscious competence. The novice is conscious of their incompetence. Somewhere in between there is the sweet spot, the trying, the learning, the growing that can be almost painfull. I wanna stay here, in the sweet spot for a while...savor the newness as I anticipate the glorious unfolding of what will soon become a welcome habit, coaching with unconscious competence.

Big gratitude

Today I woke up feeling insecure, that my skill set didn't match my responsibilities. The loud voice in my head, the mean one that discourages me, tried to wrestle me to the ground and pin me there.  I know the voice, it catches me unawares and reeks havoc, until I catch it and pin it down, then it tries to squirm and convince me in other ways how incompetent I really am. In coaching, the voice is labelled the saboteur...I called it the damn bastard!  I had two amazing Personal Training clients this morning and a quick messaging chat with my fab new coach Szossy St Germaine, and with the company and energy of these three people, the damn bastard saboteur was slain.  Szossy asked me to tap into one of my "crew members", my appreciator, and right now, I am, I appreciate all the amazing people I get to be myself with. The saboteur will rise again, but I am armed and dangerous, ready to cut him off at the tongue!  Forge on, find friends or family that will speak truth to your soul, hire a coach today!

Coaching without ego

Tonight I coached a coach...um, yikes. I asked her why she hired me and she said "because I wanted a coach". There is no ego in coaching, which means that no matter how long someone has been working in this profession, they never acquire the condescending-look-down-the-tip-of-their-nose-I have-arrived look that sometimes goes with status and position. In fact, humility is the mark of every great coach, and my new client coach is humbily great. In coaching, client and coach design an alliance, a working agreement, terms of engagement if you will. There is an equality that is established and a partnership that develops. Each one, trains the other on how to "be" in the partnership.  Today, she gave me the gift of hiring me, and I am grateful. The teacher trusting the student is thought provoking, and is creating some kind of deeper faith in the unknown unfolding, without me needing to figure it all out before hand. That's coaching, I listen, I am led and I follow.

Finding meaning in life

In coaching, finding meaning in life is an underpinning.  The coach listens, watches, feels what "it is" that the client values. As the coach mines for these values, the client feels heard, is free to express, and they too, begin to feel that what they value, has meaning. Sounds warm and fuzzy, and it certainly is and can be, but the sharing is purposeful. As it dawns on the client what "it is" they are longing for, there is a gripping, a hold on them, a moment where words turn into "I know what I have to do now". With this grand moment comes the overwhelming urge to act.  This is where "say what you mean, and mean what you say" is activated.  Ahhhhhhhh, sigh of splendid relief, one more lovely person in the world going out, fulfilling their destiny, with clarity, vision and on purpose.

Yes AND No

In coaching, I have to say yes to me, what enlivens me and makes my heart sing. Saying yes means somewhere lurks a no, no to what isn't working anymore, what breaks me or makes my heart sink...I am learning to let go, but at times, it feels like loss, and I must acknowledge the pain, experience it fully, before the letting go can happen. This is part of the process of growing and expanding, and in coaching, there is a name for this work, and it is aptly called, you guessed it, Process.  What do you need to say yes to, to make you heart sing...no is a scary word, until you practice saying it, then it can become a part of your vocabulary, and a part of your toolkit to a more lively, full of excitement and joyful you.  Playing is fun, but not always safe.  Hire a coach today and find out what lies just below the surface that speaks truth and light into your heart.

Topic~Coaching and YOU

Coaching is the topic.  What is it and what can it do for YOU?  If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands, if you're happy and you know it...you singing along with me as you read this?  When was the last time you sang and happily clapped?  If you can't remember cuz it was THAT long ago, perhaps you need to hire a Co-Active CTI Coach. Whatever is missing you're life, a coach can help you find it.