Topsy Turvy

I keep trying to right myself, keep myself from falling face down in our topsy turvy world. I would call the tilt unpredictable, except for its constancy. Are you getting used to it too, the feeling of instability as people lose their minds and solid ground dissolves just inches away from their feet? 

Cognitive dissonance has resolved itself turning into permanent cognitive detachment from reality. Peril is no longer perceived ... People, you are in peril, I want to shout this with a plea in my voice but the words are silenced in my throat, held captive there. I may as well be a mime with plaintive eyes ... I hate mimes. Am I becoming one?

I am often torn between thankfulness and concern, the two playing tug of war with my thoughts and feelings. I cannot help but thank God for all he has rescued me and my family from, and I cannot help but be concerned for those that do not know him, call on his name, trust him to deliver them from their pain drenched soul sickness. If I could give people faith in God, I would hand it out like Christmas candy ... not Halloween tricks and treats. 

Grief includes the sadness that comes from seeing sorrow in another. I see my mom, looking down, pondering, her life altered forever with the loss of her eldest. I have heard my younger sister weep loudly with unchecked agony: she asks, When will the pain go away? I see the lostness in my brother-in-law, his playmate and constant companion, missing and leaving him without the desire to take action. I hear the break in my sister's friends voice, when she promises, I will not cry ... 

Death is a vulgarity. It is an ugly misshapen thief. It does not care, does not feel, and with disregard, snatches life and removes a character ... my sister was a character! 

We aren't done dear reader. More sickness, more dis ease, more dying awaits. Sorrow has moved in demanding attention, insisting on its own room in every household. It isn't visiting either: it plans to stay for the long haul. 

My plan is very simple and its execution even more so, now that I have committed. I will enjoy each person I have in my life, ensuring I see them often, make memories by going and doing, and letting them know that I will clear a path to them, so that nothing stands between us. I don't want to live the would have could have should have emptiness of regret. I want to know I did all I could to celebrate relationship with the ones I profess to love. This is righting my world, stabilizing it, and the tilt isn't nearly as threatening for me as it may be for most. 

But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you (1 Peter 5:10)

Peter, the apostle that denied Christ three times before the rooster crowed, knew suffering and thankfulness too. I hope this is your destiny dear reader. I hope God makes you perfect, establishes, strengthens, and settles your soul, in the peace that comes from a clear path to Christ, where all regret is washed away with tears of repentance.