My Hope is in Heaven

The days pass and sadness mixes with madness, not the crazy kind, the angry kind. I waste or kill time, wander in my mind from one passing thought to another. I would rather not be disjointed, distracted, and discombobulated in my thinking, but my soul is searching and today, I realize more than ever before, that my hope is in heaven. 

My hope is that my sister is there ... as I walk this plane, the thought of heaven becomes more and more agreeable. These past few days, I have felt deep sorrow soaked in great disconcerting dissatisfaction. I have all a body could need and want, and yet ... there is so much missing that I can not relocate, and place in the void. My spirit cries out, is this it? All she wrote? More of the same coming my/our way? 

Yesterday I got removed from LinkedIn for not living into their community standards. I spoke against lethal injections and those that acted like dressed up pushers. People in suits and ties, expensive dresses and decorative jewelry, told the masses to, Get those shots, Get them now, while they are hot, Don't wait until it is too late ... too late, too late, that is what reverberates over and over again in my mind. I think of Jesus and the plotting to kill him for speaking the truth. Some people on LinkedIn wanted to shed my blood for my attacking the idols they worship and bow down to. I am confident more than one member lodged a complaint or two against me; and wouldn't you know it, dear reader, that I am very intentional in my actions, and I knew I was on the cusp of being expelled ... and I don't mind one bit. 

There are things we cannot un-think, un-say, un-do. We have invisible scars marking us as previously injured from what we have chosen in the past. Some injuries are evident to the naked eye, as indicators of more recent decisions many have made, that have marred their lives. I know people spending all of their time at doctor appointments, getting treatments for this ailment, or that newly discovered and "very rare" disease or condition. It all just plain old makes me weep. I have moved on from sounding the alarm, to simply being a sounding board, while periodically raging against the machine when I feel the build-up of frustration reach a boiling point. 

I lied just there: I am still sounding an alarm. I want people to admit they made a mistake before it is too late for them to reconcile with God. I want people to acknowledge that what they are suffering is unnatural, instigated by mad ~ meaning criminally crazy ~ men. I want them to say, Oh no, I chose badly, wrongly, and I am so sorry God, so very very sorry. Please forgive me and heal me. 

My hope is in heaven and that is where my King resides. I see what is happening here on planet earth and it curls my upper lip, when I consider the damage that has been done to the populace. I suspect many an hour was, and is, spent circling caldrons, as witches and warlocks cast spells, worshiping the god of this world, and willingly doing his deadly bidding. Big Pharma, that wicked old slithering snake, has charmed the wanton, the weary, the unaware. Has he charmed you? I pray not. 

Grief is a strange never never land state of being. I am neither here, nor there. I am neither in heaven, nor on earth ... I float somewhere in-between. Passing clouds appeal to me as vehicles for travel, but alas, they are beyond my reach. 

I miss you terribly Antonella. A close friend of mine gave me a gift and a card the other day. In the card Keli called you my diamond in the sky, and you are.