Drained & Flooded

In August I attended part two of a four part Leadership program. On the last day of the retreat, I was assigned to the Water Pod. Upon my return home, I learned that our pool had drained itself of water. I didn't know it at the time, that this draining was a metaphor, a foreshadowing of what was to come. On retreat, I got filled up and my re entry into family, friends and the familiar of life appeared smooth at first and than I saw it, the pain everywhere, in the bodies, minds, eyes of those around me. A sense of overwhelm hit and I scrambled in my heart with what I could do to allievate the pain, be a resource for the suffering, make myself available for their refilling, healing, heart wholeness. This is when it happened, the slow and steady draining of me, emptied out as a drink offering. In church, I heard about the importance of being filled up in order to be poured out, there must be this balance between the two. In coaching, everyone is naturally creative resourceful and whole~taking care of self is essential to be an effective coach, taking care of others is discouraged in favour of knowing that each of us has the internal strength to tap into (yes, water metaphors abound) for our own well being, the coach guides the client to the well, for the fullness of their being. This week, the flood gates opened and many homes on my street and in the city got their fill, sewer systems overloaded and basements taking on the excess water...oddly enough, as our basement filled with water our pool refilled and the water has remained. Remaining buoyant is the exciting challenge and my natural response. It does not require huge effort on my part to stay uplifted in times of difficulty in fact I thanked God for the blessing of the flood, His plan is always perfect. The crack in my foundation showed up yesterday and I flooded myself with a short lived pity party, a little too much alcohol and quite the headache this morning. Lesson? While I know everything happens for a reason, I must give myself permission to acknowledge that some things are a real pain in the butt, that emptied pools cost money and flooded basements interrupt business and life and I'm not completely ok with it. Even Jesus cried over the death of his good friend Lazarus, knowing that it caused loved ones pain and also knowing that He would raise Lazarus from the dead. It would be a lie to pretend that the disruption isn't disruptive, because it is and yet, I'm still okay, alive and well and awaiting what is next in the way of metaphors and their playful sometimes painful way of teaching me, teaching me many a lesson. Drained, filled up, blessed always, I float on the Lilly Pad of life and grin with anticipation of next. I dedicate this to my fellow Water Lillies, Resilient Gina, Effervescent Jane, Huge Hearted E'Stephie, and Smiley go get em and win em over Marcy! Ribbit