Collateral...

Collateral.....finish the phrase. I'm looking at the word from one perspective with two possible outcomes and it is this: there is a central piece, a something in the middle that by its expression, extends itself out, moving laterally, or to the side(s). The term collateral damage can be used metaphorically to describe the choices of one person who impacts many around them, like a bomb going off and the shrapnel cutting through and piercing the hearts and souls of those around them...the spiritual ramifications reverberate and the wounds can present, or manifest physically, in other words, a wound unattended can fester and cause disease, treatment for healing is required. Let's just look at the soul. An organism, say me, you, the human brand of aliveness, cannot live alone, we are dependent on many elements for our maintenance. Emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, collateral relationships thrive and conversely stifle, depending on the central piece, the middle of each human. The collateral damage of unattended pain, pain supplanted, masked, somatized is that while the living being is suffering, in attempts to allievate pain, choices lend to creating more pain, not only for self but also for others, collaterally. Escape, justification, rationalizations are the temporary fix misplacing that thing that hurts, that aching and longing that never seems to go away no matter what attempts are made to allievate IT. Ahh, we all have our brand of poison, our feel good ways of subverting, don't we? Let's not kid ourselves, shall we? Let's be really clear, your pain, my pain, is not our own, neither is our joy, it is always and forever shared whether or not we choose to believe that we have impact in the world, that ripple effect thing, it's really real. Look at your centre, the middle of you, what is there? If you don't like what you see and you fear that you are collaterally causing damage, chances are, it's true. If at the centre of you is love and the collateral impact is loving relationships all around you, chances are, it's true. Choices abound and it is never to late, you have never gone too far, to start the healing process, no matter how arduous it may be. I belong to you, you belong to me, your my sweetheart~we are nothing without one another. Namaste, I see you and I feel you, this is the pleasure and pain of being connected as members of the human race. 

Expansive

Unspoken sought after holy grail

Lonely, alone, I have seen this and heard its baleful cry in my fellow man. Feeling safe in relationship is the unspoken sought after holy grail, it is the longing in every heart to be seen, heard, loved as I am, as you are. To be valued and acknowledged seem such miserable requests coming from a human who deserves more than this in the form of praise and true appreciation. What is it that we say to one another, job well done, I admire you, you are wonderful to me? What do we lose when we tell another that life is grander, richer, an adventure for knowing them?

Love the lonely away

Love is rocket fuel

How do I hold back, why would I ever want to hold back, the love that bubbles up in my heart and spills out of my mouth? It is stingy to do otherwise, it is a withholding, a cruel thievery to keep back the love portion that belongs to another. Look into the eyes of your fellow man, if you can capture their gaze. See the being that inhabits the body and seek to touch their very soul and if you dare, love them. Love the lonely away, love them until they feel it, believe it and start loving themselves. Hearts are expansive, there is always room for one more. 

Heart vs Mind

Blinded by the light. Today I encountered such human brilliance that I have been stunned by it in the afterglow. Like a deer in the headlights, I am transfixed. The only explanation for me still being on earth is the pull of gravity. Thankfully, I am not a helium filled balloon being carried up up and away into the stratosphere. What I know is this: great minds are logical, pragmatic, deductive in reasoning; huge hearts are sensitive, generous, fiercely passionate. These are NOT mutually exclusive representations of brilliance and yet, I witnessed this split today, this separation and severing, as though mind and heart cannot live in accord, cannot abide one another in the same living being. Boom boom, boom boom, the heart wants what the heart wants and no matter what the mind suggests, in time, the heart gets louder and louder until it screams LISTEN TO ME or I swear, I will BREAK. I close my eyes and I see the longing, the desire of the heart in eyes that glisten with unshed tears, pain surfacing and yet to be felt deeply enough to allow the dam to break. The heart, it has a language all its own, it is a built in truth detector and it cannot be tricked. Reconciliation, mediatation, ombudsmanship...this is what needs happen inside the being of each human when mind and heart have seemingly irreconcilable differences. A house divided against itself cannot stand...listen, your heart has a message for you, the message could save your life.

Warrior Princess

Creator of The Universe, I stand, hands on hips, feet wider then shoulder width apart, surveying the land, appreciating that before me lies opportunity and I am concurer of THE WORLD...HaHAhaaa, wicked laugh inserted. Who can stand against me, who is mighty enough to challenge this Warrior Princess? Come, offer me a battle of wits, a wrestling match of Spirits, you stand defeated before me, long before we engage. I create my world and I am the Super Hero in it...oops, wait, just one minute please? I need to adjust my bra strap, k almost there, one second, ok we are ON...where was I again, oh yeah, I am a mighty FORCE and, oh forget it, I lost my mojo. The battle rages on between strength, reliance on self, desire to be of value, in charge of my own destiny and mighty importance oh and one more hideously ugly self indulgent thing lurks, this belief that somehow I created anything at all. I happily write nope, nada, not one iota, NOTHING is mine nor has it ever been. What a relief! Check out Ecclesiastes 1 verses 9-11: What has been will be again, what has been done  will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun. Is there anything of which one can say, "Look! This is something new"? It was here long ago, it was here before our time. No one remembers the former generations, and even those yet to come will not be remembered by those who follow them. Is the Bible talking technology? Well if you want to go in that direction, you go right ahead and I hope to see you at the fork in the road, the one that has us both looking at choices. My point? There is one Creator, we are His divinely imbued miniatures and I'm all for eating from the unseen Hand that feeds me. The manna, my daily bread, is Heaven prepared and showers down upon me, leaving me wanting for nothing more than more from Him. In my human frailty, He provides my strength and  if He be for me, who can stand against me? 

G.I Joe

G.I Joe. There is a man that goes to the gym that I nod to in acknowledgment when we catch each others eye. We have said hello and over the span of years, never had a conversation. He is mountainous is size, a tower of gum chewing muscle. My training partner and I shake our heads frequently when Joe is near, because despite his massive muscles and clear ability to move heavy weights, it would appear he is incapable of lowering said weights quietly, once he is done with them. Clanking and crashing affects our sensibilities and he, head set secured in ears with music blaring, gives the impression he is unaware of his impact. I know differently, in fact, what I know is that there is a little boy inside the man that so much wants to be noticed that he draws attention to himself with loud noises and boisterous laughter and then fanes nonchalanance. Yesterday, I was at the gym and in my mind I decided I was done with a barbell and I was going to put it back where it belongs and I made the tiniest of tiny moves in the direction Joe was travelling, the move was more of a mental one with the barest of physical manifestations and yet, I was stunned when I witnessed Joes brief interruption in step, his inclination to make room for me to pass before him. This makes me grin, the big strong noisy man, sensitive to a petite female for whom he was gentle man enough to give way if I so desired to cross his path.This tells me that there is so much more than meets the eye and I needed a new perspective on Joe. I decided to send him love, through his solar plexus, to fill him up with the love that is all around us, like the oxygen we breathe. No longer willing to see him as insensitive, my eyes saw Joe, the gentle giant...and as I watched him walking away, I saw the shape of a cross on his t-shirt, a perfectly sweat shaped cross taking up the full width of his shoulders and the length of his massive back. My mind threatened to call my eyes LIARS and so I stared, confirming the clear impression of cross defined in sweat on Joes back...Who am I to judge, who am I to know the heart of another man, woman, child? Judgement prevented my senses from seeing and God gave me the gift of vision, of things present and yet unseen. God I pray that I see with the eyes of Your Heart, not mine. I once was blind but now I see, Grace amazes me. I want more of the Good God stuff, how about you?

Kitten Weak

One of my all time favourite writers is Charles Spurgeon and here follows a quote from this powerful preacher: Prayer girds human weakness with divine strength, turns human folly into heavenly wisdom, and gives to troubled mortals the peace of God. I am in the position of weakened leader, a mere human who periodically fills up with pride and ego and forgets that I am nothing, no one on my own. I am a newly born kitten, eyes still closed tightly, meowing and crawling, unseeing in a world filled with pitfalls, calamities and conversely wonderous trees and mountains to climb. In infancy, the kitten relies on its parents for transport, a firm and gentle mouth grasping the babe by the scruff of the neck, the babe trusting without shadow of doubt, not knowing where or why they are being carried and somehow simply enjoying the free ride, carried in the jaws of another, gripped by teeth that leave not a mark. Astounding, it is astounding to witness this parental care and the natural trust between provider and cared for young. I do not know where I am going and I do not know what I shall find when I get there, wherever there might be. I know that when I trust Spirit, my Leader carries me and when I open my eyes and I keep them trained on Him, I have the strength to follow, no longer kitten weak, but Panther strong. Follow Spirit into Heavenly Wisdom and the peace of Christ is available, strengthening, fortifying, endowing. Lord, I am humbly yours, Linda Grace. 

Emotion Mountains

Emotion Mountains, how many have you climbed? I have seen the deepest valleys and taken unsteady steps with loose rock underfoot, threatening balance, threatening proprioception and well being while climbing onward and upward. I am an emotional risk taker. I want to feel everything and this means that I fearlessly go wherever my soul beacons and sometimes, I go numb. Numb as a feeling is strange, it is a none feeling, a lull like something that is vapour in its numbness. I have enough experience with numb to know that it is like my calm before the storm. My dad, I miss my father. Around this time of year I remember that I wasn't done with him yet, that I want him back, that I long for him. Dark dreary grey enshrouds my soul and it is of little comfort to think I will see him again when what I want is to see him now. It rained the day his body went into the ground and I was glad that while I wept, the sky let loose its own heavy tears of sorrow. The capacity to love, feel, remember, long, celebrate, grieve, these are the gifts we are bestowed in our humanness. I would not give up a one. In my longing, I recall I had a dad, a man that loved me, protected me, worked hard for me to provide creature comforts, a university education and so much more. My numb is replaced with the feeling of fondness, a warm sentimental recalling of the man I knew as my father. Emotions are gifts to be experienced and sometimes they can feel life threatening...this feeling, of eminent death by emotion, it too shall pass. Nothing lasts forever, including pain.