Faith Enlivened

Today I coached co-actively with another fabulously talented coach, my Grace sister (our middle name is coincidentally the same).  The coaching was powerful and without details, I will say that the impact on the coachees was and will be, profound.  It was my first 2 coach, 2 client combo and when a friend and fellow coach asked "what was it like to really serve in this way" it came to me that it felt like a peace mission.  This made me want to weep with appreciation for the Co-Active model, the faith in fellow man and Ubuntu "a quality that includes the essential human virtues; compassion and humanity".  Me winning means someone else has to lose, sacrifice, not get what they want or deserve for fear of asking or out of a sense that what is important to them has no value or worth, or in other words, the I am not worthy sentiment that many live with.  Coaching is about wholeness, for self and for the other.  Coaches are advocates for clients and their wholeness and the ultimate goal is the client to be advocate for themselves with self compassion and humanity (compassion and love for others) as guiding principals.  The coaching model is faith enlivened~I see its power and go forth and spread The Good News.

Love Under Seagull Wings

Falling in love again.  Do you remember a time when you looked into the eyes of another and reflected there was the soft doey eyed look of heart melting love?  Seeing the look and than having the heart translate it's meaning has a profound impact on the receiver.  Before the look, there may be angst, confusion, self deprecation and insecurity, on both sides. As safety increases in the relationship, as each person recognizes the dawning of mutual appreciation just as they are, the love starts to bud, grow, bloom.  Then there is the look~the eyes see it first, the mind says is that what I think it is and then bam, there it is, the realization that someone loves you so much that it is shining adoringly from their eyes in such a brilliant way as to blind you, make you blink in disbelieve with the accompanying unnerving feeling that this is powerful stuff, this love thing.  As coach, I have had the awe inspiring experience of speaking with my eyes and hearing with my heart during exercises where no words are spoken, eye gazing is the one and only action plan and pure love is expressed and felt.  This deep and gorgeous soul brushing leaves a lasting impression and an indelible mark on the spirit.  The love teaches love and reverberates until the receiver finally and fully gets "it" OHHHHHH, you love me, you love me and...now somehow, I love me too...to my tribe, near and far, I learned to love myself in the safety under a thousand happy flapping and cuddle in close wings~I love you Seagulls, thanks for loving me unto myself.

Time is Short

Life is short, this is the expression that comes to me as I contemplate my topic which is, what are you doing with your time?  I read a great question in the manual for the most recent course I took on Lifestyle and Wellness Coaching. The question:  Is what I am doing moving me toward or away from my wellness?  Insert different items in there like:  Is the person across from me moving me toward or away from my own wellness?  Is the situation I find myself in moving me...you get the picture here.  Stress, anxiety, knots in the stomach, an aching heart, these are symptoms, warnings of danger and potential injury.  That's not indigestion you have, it's your gut telling you hey, if you don't take care of me right now, I'm quitting, and I dare you to find someone else to take this job!  The amazing thing about the human body is it's resiliency. Thank goodness for sleep, even when it is short, because sometimes this is the only respite from YOU that your body gets.  What if your soul is screaming WHAT ABOUT ME, REMEMBER ME?  Consider your soul, the hungry unwanted forgotten relative in the corner~everyone else got to eat, play, express themselves except the sad and neglected starving soul.  Here is the flip side to the body~it can only take so much and when slow down or pay attention warnings go unheeded, stress turns into heart attack, stroke, stomach aches and you name it. In this short life, what are you choosing to do with your time?

Pride & Walls

I have been on a seek and find mission.  I have a keen awareness that I have lived my life with many a defence mechanism firmly in place, keeping me safe from potential threat to my autonomy, my God given right to choice, my me...I am also keenly aware that all those self protective pieces of armour have kept me apart, separate from others, an emotional island in many ways.  The other side of this coin is my deep desire to have others need me, lean on me for emotional support, comfort and truly inspired solutions to their lets say, issues in life. Haha, pride is so arrogant!  I know, I know that I am stating the obvious here and at the same time, the simplicity of this truth is pure delight. One of my tightly constructed red brick walls of protection has been NOT asking for help.  Stubborn pride (there's that darn word again) had me desperately searching for answers to whatever puzzling life question came my way, including in the form of in the lives of others, as though I was/I am the beacon of truth, the solution provider, the uniquely gifted answer finder. What I discovered is that in my most prideful moments, I have clung to what I believed was the answer and I have held kind souls there, with me...despite my being so off the mark as to be off the map.  This speaks to the proverbial "remove the plank in your own eye before you attempt to remove the sliver in another's".  I am grateful for gorgeous breathtaking humility, the kind that has cleared my clouded self important vision.  Help, a new word for me.  I now recognize when and how to use the word in giving, receiving and accepting when offered.  The walls, come tumbling down, yeah the walls...

Sunglasses.  Not long ago, I had three pair, ranging in purchase price from $1 to $100. Slowly but surely, each pair of sunglasses disappeared.  I looked for them, I asked family members if they had seen them and except for the dollar store pair, none could be found. They would have to do was my thought, as I packed and readied myself for a trip to California. My trip was a leadership retreat and it was sunny and cloudy in California and yet, sunglasses weren't what I needed. I needed to close my eyes, not to keep the light out but I to feel and see it from within.  Blindfolded to my own weakness, my sight has kept me in the dark. I used to look for answers, solutions, finding my own way in the maze of life, independently faltering and perhaps, out of pride and stubbornness, holding others to my solutions, rightly or wrongly, leading them to a dead end, not an exit point from whatever trap or holding pattern they were in.  Pride does come before the fall as the saying goes and I once was blind but now I see go hand in hand in this life lesson of mine. I returned from my trip yesterday and magically, my sunglasses reappeared~they were in obvious and not so obvious places.  I didn't need to look for them, my son found them without looking or trying.  What's my point?  Sometimes you can't find what you are looking for, eyes wide open...sometimes others can see clearly and following them to the answer is the solution you were looking for but were too blind to see...learning, always learning.

Band Aids

One of my fabulously bright coaching friends gave me the gift of an amazing metaphor today. We are all broken in one way or another and the beauty of self awareness, the hard work of uncovering what ails us, is the discovery of the healing available to those who seek wholeness. I find this in my relationship with God, my knowing the alive and ever present Jesus Christ as Saviour, the quiet calm gentle and compelling whisper and sometimes loud voice of The Holy Spirit, they are my medicine.  I have memories of a poisonous work environment and to cope, I kept my Bible close at hand~it was my emergency manual, my how do I survive and what do I say, do, go to place.  That job threatened my well being and by the time I left, I felt broken battered and bruised. I tell this story as a point of comparison, the than me and the now me.  What was at one time a threat, no longer holds any power over me.  My need for emergency room God care has become a lighter, more like first aid for minor scratches and cuts (yes, paper cuts are included in this metaphor) need and as I take off protective bandaids from these cuts, healing and wholeness is revealed underneath, no sign of injury remains.  God is love, He is Healer, Wonderful Counsellor, and He has made me whole...Much love to my divinely inspired, metaphor gifted coach friend Jane Reid.

Peace Transcends Understanding

Eminent threat, warning, attack may occur so get those hackles up~you are now entering a danger zone of unsure origins and secret pathways with scary monsters standing at the ready to grab at you, claw away what isn't theirs, it is something that belongs to you and you must hold on for dear life because if they get their grabby grubby hands on it, they will treat it roughly, with disregard, destroy it...and you won't be able to get it back again.  What is the it that must be protected from others?  I'm not sure what your "it" is but I know mine is autonomy, I don't like being told what to do.  Lately I have been noticing my own immediate reactions and those of others in my life and what I have observed is that it would appear humans are a threat, to other humans.  With my attachment to autonomy, my fight or flight radar goes into red alert at the strangest times and while I believe intuition is a powerful tool, I don't appreciate the somatic reactions that go with this natural protective mechanism. That had me wondering, how long have these automatic responses been in place?  I must have needed them at one point in time, and do I still?  Is there an eminent threat, or is this a twisted perception, a defensive mechanism gone rogue?  Here was the biggest question for me: Do I WANT to view the words, actions, reactions of others as an eminent threat to my well being?  Is fight or flight the boss of me and what can I do, what new way of seeing the world and it's super cool humans can I take with me everywhere I go?  I have read more than once recently, be hard on issues, soft on people~I like this, it sounds and feels right and it means that when intimate relationship goes sideways, when strangers misunderstand and miscommunicated, when intentions are checked and clarity is sought after rather than each person going to their corner to come out fighting to protect themselves, the door opens to a peaceful harmony, first in me AND than it shows up in how I interact with the world.  I am not a threat, I come in Peace~May the Peace that transcends all understanding, also be with you.