I had my first official coaching session with my coach this morning. I was a little anxious prior to the call because I knew I needed the coaching and I wasn't sure what would come up. The trepidation was real, tangible, and had nothing to do with my relationship with my coach, Szos St Germain.
I had a rest on furniture from www.gocasual.ca

My New Friend, Technology

I am creative resourceful and whole...geez, I have had to say these words to myself repeatedly tonight as I tried some Balance coaching on MYSELF!  Technology scares me and my default is to ask for help almost immediately after I start fumbling around with my laptop (stupid thing), my iPad (idiot) or my email (blankety blank blank).  Yeah, and now, here I am, able to say YIPPY for me, because I have persevered and with very little assistance, I figured out all the darned stuff myself!  Growing up really is fun. Here's the thing:  I didn't believe I could make technology work for me, I thought of it as some kind of magic performed by the exceptional ones and I kept myself outside of the learned circle, much to my own determent.  I have screamed and hollered and threatened my devices repeatedly over the past few days when really, I was pretty mad at me.  I don't want to constantly ask for help and yet, as my coach pointed out, that's exactly what I needed to do. It was suggested to me that when I ask for help, to tell the husband or the boy (my exceptional ones) that there is some shame attached to my inadequacies with technology.  When I did this with my son, he showed compassion, and instead of doing it for me to get it out of the way, he patiently taught me how...what I learned is that he probably would have done this is the first place if I had expressed my real need, the need to know and feel able, in the first place. Today, when I asked him to DO something for me, he said no, I'll show you how...that boy is smart.I m tired on what furniture from www.gocasual.ca

I am NOT SORRY

Oh humanity, how beautiful thou art...or can be, when all persona and posturing is stripped away and essence is laid magnificently bare~I try my hand at poetry but really what I want to say quite plainly is that people really are NATURALLY CREATIVE, RESOURCEFUL AND WHOLE!  Each and every time I start a coaching relationship, I am delighted when the client starts to believe that this is exactly how their coach, me, sees them. It is the craziest gift ever to give to someone by telling them they are naturally creative rsourceful and whole, and then to see them believe you believe this and then they start believing it too!  One of the repeated themes in sessions is apology, the quick "I'm sorry" that comes automatically from clients. Behind, attached to, clinging on the back of the I'm sorry is shame, regret, guilt, embarrassment~everything ugly and inhumane and cruel, holding the client prisoner to some measure of excellence they are sorry they can't meet. The coach sees the monkey on the back and loosen the grip, by acknowledging that the client isn't their words or actions, and IS naturally creative resourceful and whole.  As monkeys are flung off backs, clients live into their best selfs for all the world to see and enjoy. Oh coaching, how beautiful thou art...

Szossy The Great

In the matter of one short half hour, my coach Szos St Germain reached into my life, based on the thoughts I shared through words, and touched my past, my relationship with my long gone father, and the current impact that this relationship has on me.  Szos sensed and felt things that I didn't need to explain or verbalized. Is he a mind reader?  I don't believe he is;  he is a visionary, a puzzle solver, a humanitarian and a life coach. He is a trained and talented coach but his skills go beyond technique, they are curative and first aid for the soul.  Coaching happens after the close of a session;  I journaled after my session and went in and out of sleep, eyes popping open, pen and paper ready to record the sorting of all things head and heart, as each piece slipped, dropped, crashed into place in my own life puzzle. When our coaching session was done, we moved into friendship but just before saying goodbye, he couldn't help himself, he held me in high regard, and reminded me that taking care of myself must remain an essential part of my life, this is a much needed reminder....how about for YOU!  XO Szossy Pants

Gentle now, easy does it

Ever work wayyyyy harder than you needed to?  On an orientation coaching call, the trainer had one of those red Staples buttons and throughout the call she hit the button periodically and a "that was easy" would come out loudly and clearly over the phone lines, making me laugh every time.  Today I used my salad spinner to get rid of excess water from my romaine, and I realized that typically, I spin that sucker as fast as I can. Today, I gently turned the crank and I noticed the spinner does all the work, even with a gentle turn...upon reflection, I realize I have used excessive force to generate action, reaction, end goal results.  Regret could flood in and cause a sense of loss or remorse, but I would much rather take the learning and gently tread,  ninja like, in the minds, hearts and souls of the ones I love, those who share my life and world.

More spaghetti

Oh we just DON'T KNOW what an impact we have on one another. Yesterday I was in and out of a bowl of spaghetti, one strand in the jumbled mess. Today, one of the noodles I felt entangled by and with, shocked and delighted me. Yesterday, facial expressions told me that pain was present, a sense of sadness and loss. I challenged a fear perspective that had predominated and had steered this "noodle" this way and that, resulting in alienation, disappointment and more proof that fear was necessary in life when interacting with others.  The lovely noodle dug deep, acknowledged the ever present fear that people can not be trusted or counted on and she took a leap, right out of that fear bowl into um...oh darn it, my metaphor is getting weak!  The lovely will-remain-nameless woman took a leap of faith in her fellow man and began believing, trusting, that her best interests were and are the concern of many.  Cryptic I know, but this is a celebration!  Hope springs eternal and I am excited for all noodles that jump out of the jumbles of their own making!  In coaching, everyone is creative, resourceful and whole, how cool is that?

Spaghetti and Humanity

Sometimes I feel like I'm one cooked spaghetti strand in a bowl of strands, all jumbled and mixed together in a heaping mess.  Certain situations, people, circumstances, and perspectives make for this messy concoction of humanity, with themes hardly discernible and endlessly tiresome to un-mess.  As a coach, and as a personal trainer, I like clean lines, I like puzzle pieces falling into place and I like the whole person and all of their moving parts to work symmetrically and in sync with ease and fluidity. Yeah, hahaha, that makes me grin and say ahhhhhhhhh. I jumped out of a spaghetti bowl today, one strand extracted from the jumble and as I separated myself from the other cooked noodles, I began to gain clarity and straighten up. With the clarity I realized that I am very subject to the energy of others, particularly when they have sealed their own fate with depressed fatalism.  Without hope, there is a giving away of the self and dreams die while a restless longing remains, an empty unfulfilled ache.  My hope remains, for all the jumbled messy noodles out there, jump out of that bowl and claim the life that awaits you.