Advantages of Suffering

When my father died the world turned ugly shades of dirty grainy grey. He wasn't the perfect dad, but I liked and loved him, and wasn't done with him yet. That was my first hellish experience with unrelenting anguish. The sorrow squeezed my heart, and I finally understood the meaning of the word wretched. We are wretched when we cannot bare the loss of a future without someone we never anticipated losing. We are wretched when we suffer and can not stop weeping and wailing. In the suffering, the loss, the incapacitation and acknowledgment of helplessness, we are brought to our knees, or at least, I am. 

Some wounds never heal

I read in a book recently, that some wounds are never healed. Have you been injured to the point of painful spirit scarring, dear one? I know many that have been, and it makes sense that some cuts are so deep that it is hard to escape the memories and sorrow of how they got there. While discussing this topic with my son yesterday, he said, If an arm is amputated, you have to live with one arm: wise words from a young one. Dear reader, when a soul has been slashed, hammered, battered, bruised, is it any wonder that perhaps, a part of the person will always ache over the loss of innocence or a sense of well-being?

Compassion is priceless

I love that Jesus wept. Just the thought of God grieving makes me weak in the knees with gratitude. When someone cries for themselves, for us, with us, isn't that the most tender time of sharing sorrow? Compassion is priceless and invaluable. Suffering is inescapable: you and I both know this. What we do, who we turn to, what we believe about the suffering, who we are during and after, is up to each person. Careful thought is required, not to make sense of the why part of suffering, but of what is redeemable while in the throes of sometimes devastating circumstances. 

Yancey & Hellwig

While reading Philip Yancey's book: Where Is God When It Hurts?, I savoured a list, adapted by Yancey, from the writings of a now deceased Catholic nun, Monica Hellwig, that highlights what can be oddly (odd by secular standards, since so many are fiercely independent and believe they are in charge of their own destiny financially and physically) called "advantages" to being poor. Yancey directs us to the "advantages" of suffering, and I do believe we are witnessing broad swatches of suffering across the earth. Here is the list ... what do you think?

NOTE: I added my thoughts in brackets

1. Suffering, the great equalizer, brings us to a point where we may realize our urgent need for redemption. (Everyone suffers and feels urgency about their existence at one point or another)

2. Those who suffer know not only their dependence on God and on healthy people but also their dependence on one another. (We are all dependent)

3. Those who suffer rest their security not on things, which often cannot be enjoyed and may soon be taken away, but rather on people. (People matter, not things)

4. Those who suffer have no exaggerated sense of their own importance, and no exaggerated need of privacy. Suffering humbles the proud. (Suffering humbles)

5. Those who suffer expect little from competition and much from cooperation. (Winning no longer matters, working together does)

6. Suffering helps us distinguish between necessities and luxuries. (Desiring bigger/better disappears replaced with appreciating simplicity)

7. Suffering teaches patience, often a kind of dogged patience born of acknowledged dependence. (Patience and endurance develop)

8. Suffering teaches the difference between valid fears and exaggerated fears. (Life or death becomes real)

9. To suffering people, the gospel sounds like good news and not like a threat or a scolding. It offers hope and comfort. (Knowing we die has us thinking about eternity)

10. Those who suffer can respond to the call of the gospel with a certain abandonment and uncomplicated totality because they have so little to lose and are ready for anything. (Nothing to lose, everything to gain)

Help me

If I attribute any one great mover that had me change more rapidly than any other, it would be suffering. It has been in my suffering that I have called out to God to make the pain go away, help me become more like Him during it, help me become more compassionate for others because of it ... talk about dependency! 

Badge of bravery

When my father died I was strong, an emotionally independent island, still in charge of my self, despite the feeling of broken helplessness. I called out to God but before men, before others, I was a rock of confidence. My suffering was solo, and no one else's business. I took pride in not showing my sorrow, wearing it as a badge of bravery, not trusting anyone with my broken heart. When someone we love dies, we don't always hear the words that can soothe the soul, sometimes we are told things that heighten our need to hide from prying eyes ...

In my middle years when life took a turn and I didn't have control of the steering, I learned vulnerability and humility in ways I didn't appreciate at the time, but would not give up for anything now. In my sorrow and suffering, I am not brave, I am honest. In my hurt and anguish, I weep without withholding ...

People need people

As sister Hellwig and brother Yancey have pointed out, poverty and suffering bring us to the knowledge that all that matters is people ... people, people who need people, are the luckiest people ... in the world ... Do you know this song, dear reader?

I leave you now to consider your own suffering, with this little hint of a direction you might want to take ...

From what I am learning, the people that perpetually ask, Why God, Why Me, don't get the piece/peace that transforms ... they endlessly chase their tails with regret, and wishing that does not change a thing. It is the "to what end" question that helps us become the kind of people God wants us to be, the kind of people others call on for support, comfort, encouragement, a shoulder to cry on, and a person to celebrate with too! 

To what end?

To what end? How can this suffering be redeemed Lord ... dodging pain doesn't work, but acknowledging the hurt and heartache that drives us to humbly admit that we cannot control our circumstances sometimes, enables a holy dependence on the loving and merciful God that created us to serve Him, and one another. 

I leave you to your pain, and pray for your healing in the hands of the Comforter and Great Physician

But the God of all grace, who hath called us into his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you (1 Peter 5:10)