Wouldn't Change A Thing

Wouldn't change a thing... how many of us with a clear conscience, can make this kind of statement?

Every time we apologize, it is a way of saying we would change something we have said, something we have done. Regret, remorse and then repentance, are emotional markers if you will, of that feeling that if we could we would, change some things. 

If you have never been sorry, then perhaps you have never been wrong, but I doubt that dear reader, because that would make you divine, perfectly infallible.

As of late I have been suffering the scourge of wishing for what will never be. I want people to say they are sorry, for lying, causing disruptions in relationships, fractures in friendship and worst of all, breaches of trust, relative to relative. When I think of the Man, Jesus the Christ as God betrayed, I feel some shame in my complaining, since He is and was perfect and never once deserved the disloyalty He suffered at the hands of the fallen humans that feared for their lives rather than revering their God while He was in their midst. We humans are a dangerous lot, aren't we? We must each question our own loyalty to others, and most vitally, our loyalty to Him:

How loyal are you? He that hideth hatred with lying lips, and he that uttereth a slander, is a fool (Proverbs 10:18)

How trustworthy? Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers (Ephesians 4:29)

Are you inclined to criticize people when they are out of sight but in YOUR sites? An hypocrite with his mouth destroyeth his neighbour: but through knowledge shall the just be delivered (Proverbs 11:9)

What makes you do this? Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile (Psalm 34:13)

How do you feel after you have verbally ripped to shreds someone you associate with regularly? A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit (Proverbs 15:40)

How is it for you when you are in their company again, knowing what you have said, what you have done to malign them when they are out of earshot? A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends (Proverbs 16:2)

These days I am observing behaviour: I say these days but really, this is a way of life for me. The idea of loyalty is strange conceptually, and something that I think ought to be taught. Consider this, dear reader, that since many parents are not loyal to one another while married and certainly become decidedly disloyal in divorce, what are children to do, without this character trait modelled for them? Dare I say, they haven't a clue what loyalty looks, acts, or even smells like, but they sure can sniff it out when someone is disloyal to them. Children deeply resent being second best to parents, and their is a longing to be loved to the point of a person, a parent, being willing to die for the child... but alas, selfish ways inject themselves into how we relate, and kids get the message that they don't matter as much as they ought, while subjected to childish parents. 

As a root cause of dysfunction, disloyalty must be considered as an instigator and agitator. Betrayal is breathtakingly painful to experience, and when this is the norm for a child, the question becomes "Who can I trust?" Loyalty to self may very well be a defence mechanism utilized to ensure that needs are guaranteed to be met, since one never knows when others will turn on them or worse yet, attack them unawares. 

Lately, sibling rivalry has been my consideration. Parents can make or break budding childhood relationships between brothers and sisters: in turn, those young ones take what they have learned out into the world, and healthy or otherwise, relating can be treacherous for the naive, and sickly satisfying for the vicious and vindictive. 

How we relate is an indicator of what we experienced growing up, and what we committed to when we were betrayed, or alternatively, did the betraying of someone we purported to love. Telling or hearing secrets is often a child's first taste of delightful wickedness, and it can become a soul sickening addiction that rots relationship... the Bible calls it gossip, ever hear of it? 

When I think of the past three years and counting, all I see is adultery... people have abandoned, cheated, lied, backstabbed their friends, family, co-workers... I know, I KNOW, adultery is committed when a man or woman has intimate relations with someone other than their spouse, but this is how it feels lately: promises of love, kinship, forever to the point of death, have evaporated into thin air and all that is left is relationship carcasses. People seem to want relationship without the responsibility of committed lifetime loyalty, and that just will not do as good enough for me, and it must not be the norm, dear one, for any of us...

So I ask you... how does one know that you are trustworthy? How can you be differentiated from the pack, as someone of character, ethically and morally motivated? When you have regret followed by remorse, do you repent and say you are sorry to the injured party?

I heard a great line once, and I try my very best to live by it: Don't ruin a perfectly good apology with an excuse. 

If we love like Jesus does, we will be fearless in our relating, because loyalty will be a natural and normal element in our every day associations. I can count on two hands all the people I trust without doubt or hesitation, and that is a marvellous feeling for me. Cultivating trust requires energy and effort, and it is well worth the expenditure if you value holy relationships. 

With Jesus as our example, our perfect model of love, we can emulate what loyalty looks and feels like, by learning from the Master. Reading scripture is the single best way to be convicted of sinful ways, and course corrected if we so choose 🔥💖

All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works (2 Timothy 2:16-17)