Intrusion, Introspection & Transference

Ever have those pop into your head thoughts, the ones unbidden and unwelcome that present themselves with a "Hey, look at me, LOOK AT ME!" bounce-up-and-down-in-your-face display of immaturity? How intrusive they are, isn't that right dear reader?

When I try to shoo these thought monsters away, they skulk out of sight, until bam, when I least expect them, there they are again. That is when I know I have to pay attention, and deal with whatever my just-below-the-surface feelings are trying to tell me. 

It is at this juncture that I make a choice: introspection or transference? 

While these sound like psychology laden words, they are simply ways we all choose, or don't choose, to handle pesky memories that relentlessly steal our focus when we would rather look away. With introspection, you look at you, other, circumstances and situations, and honestly assess what was said and done, without bias or guarding yourself from what really happened. With transference, you ignore what occurred that generates all the touchy, sensitive, make your skin crawl memories, and somehow they show up elsewhere in how you relate to self and others. I call this leakage: items from the past that resemble open files that have not been signed off as completed, or perhaps more poignantly, a family photo album stuck on one page from your childhood that doesn't allow you to grow up and past what took place way back when. 

Thoughts that intrude have a way of making us aware that we have yet to resolve some issues that we did not have the strength, capacity, or presence of mind to handle to our satisfaction, when we were "in it", that situation that haunts and torments, or simply annoys. 

So, dear one... it is time for some introspection!

1 Do you have prevalent thoughts that pop into your head and meander around in there, wreaking havoc?

2 What does it feel like to have this intrusive visitor taking up your time and perhaps, stealing your peace?

3 What is unresolved in your life that if you paid some attention and worked at fixing, could alleviate the heavy burden that accompanies these repetitive thoughts?

4 How do unresolved issues, memories, persistent painful thoughts, impact your current relationships?

Thoughts become things: Have you heard this before? They do, they really do, because what we think we become. 

☠️ Bitter thoughts turn into grimaces and ungraciousness toward others. 

Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: (Ephesians 4:31)

💖 Joyful thoughts bring smiles and gestures of kindness. 

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you (Ephesians 4:32)

👻 Haunting thoughts cause frowning, and perhaps a distractedness that has one ignore the needs of others due to self-absorption. 

Who is a God like unto thee, that pardoneth iniquity, and passeth by the transgression of the remnant of his heritage? he retaineth not his anger for ever, because he delighteth in mercy (Micah 7:18)

We can unwittingly take on a disposition that predisposes us to impoverished relating, and that is perhaps the worst form of transference, when what we feel on the inside, shows up in how we treat the people we have out in front of us; our ick can stick to other. What a yucky mess we can make, dear reader, especially when we choose to ignore what only goes away, when we finally say, "I see you" and decide to do something about what mentally ails us. 

I read a lot and with a grin, I tell you the main thing that I have learned and continue to remind myself, is that we are designed for relationship. It is that simple. You, me, them, we are made to love one another, and it is always the absence of love that causes breakage, followed by transference, and then intrusion... and hopefully, when our souls are exhausted from trying to perpetually self-preserve... introspection? 

God does not make mistakes and so I point us, you and me, to what we have been commanded to do in Matthew 22:36-40:

Master, which is the great commandment in the law? 

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

This is the first and great commandment.

And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets 

God commands us to love! Can you even believe this? It is outstanding, and you know, just like I do, when we are not, I repeat, when we are NOT being loving. Not being loving is at the root of all evil, the cause of all dysfunctional relating, and dare I say, is the reason we can point at selfishness as the culprit when everything goes to hell in a hand basket. It is always self-absorption at the expense of other that has us making decisions that generate collateral damage. 

If thoughts become things, and indeed they do, then it follows that our love, the kind God commands, with all our heart, soul and mind, can transform us, the people we interact with, and to circle back to the beginning of our time together, to the way our brain and what it conjures, interacts with our spirit. 

Imagine that, God commanding LOVE... love is an action word, a verb, dear reader. And LOVE looked at us from a cross, without bitterness, malice, or grimacing, seeing past what we have said, what we have done, to the joy of reuniting us to our heavenly Father and the family that awaits our arrival in eternity. 

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God (Hebrews 12:2)