Thursday, April 20, 2017

Stay

We are warned. "This will be a challenge. You will feel uncomfortable. You might want to come out of the posture but I encourage you to stay in it. It may be emotionally, physically or mentally difficult to remain in the posture, stay anyways." The instructor had it right. I was uncomfortable during each of the timed postures. The discomfort grew the longer the position was held and my mind, it asked, how much longer? Why, why is this so taxing? Next I would move on to rationalizing telling myself this won't last forever and the class is only 75 minutes. In my distraction tactics I finally landed on this, that maybe I could figure out why I am here and what is so important about staying, despite the urge to unwind the body, stretch it and perhaps, bolt for the door.

Why stay when it is uncomfortable? What is the reason to hold when mentally the challenge appears to be fruitless and an exercise in futility in the moment? Emotionally it is more difficult to stay when it hurts and when it hurts it feels like utter aloneness, doesn't it Dear Reader? Suffering is such an individual experience. I can long for you, tell you I see your pain but I cannot take it from you or bare it for you, it is all your own. No one wants to feel pain. Pain is the bodies way of saying I am in jeopardy, there is a threat, get me out of here to safety. Emotional pain is such a strange experience, wouldn't you agree? When my heart is aching from sadness, it is a surreal way of being. This is where holding the position counts the most, staying in the pain to understand it. The postures that we find ourselves in are ours by design. We are there for a reason, a time, and perhaps it feels like an eternity without end. It hurts, feels uncomfortable and pulling out of the position appeals and yet, it is in the moment of torturous waiting that we get to ask ourselves why am I here and what is so important about staying? Pain is temporary, thoughts come and go, emotions don't always make sense but holding, staying courageously, bravely when running away would be so much easier, that is essence. That is mastery of circumstance and situation. That, my Dear Reader, is Love. 

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