Time & Ease

How is this for a sentence: "We are so quick to get to next, we miss what is here, now." This observation came from a yoga instructor during class today. Quite simply, I liked it and gave a little chuckle when I heard this truth. Oh yoga, you are teaching me so much. In class today, we held some postures for three and a half minutes. WHAT, would have been my plaintive response not that long ago. HOW, would have been another eyebrow raising inquiry. What I learned today is that in the time allotted to the session, there was...time. Again, I am simplifying and stating what may be obvious to you as you read but is it really something you accept, believe, embrace and want for yourself? Time, to hold a position, feel into the posture and welcome it, maybe even melt into the discomfort until it somehow becomes comfortable? I did some melting today, some letting go of trying. I realized I had been holding onto muscular control via tensing and contraction, a physical manifestation in my life of wanting to be in charge of me at all times. In the melting, I almost wept with relief as I sank wet blanket like into the floor in surrender. Somehow the areas in my body that had been screaming release me, let me go from this uncomfortable position said ahhhh, thank you, we are ok, stay here if you like. It was to God I cried out in the silence, I melt into You. I breathe in now, the remembering, the release of those three and a half minute poses and the gift of time and ease I discovered there. The experience calls me back, come here again and be, with Me. What is here now is a knowing that in this moment, there is something to notice, appreciate, sense. What, Dear Reader, do you know?

Tended and Mended

The innocent and sweet, the meek and the mild in spirit, this is the child in each of us. The one that smiles easily, trusts quickly, runs to open arms and laughs with delight over ticklish kisses. You have seen it, perhaps this was you and is it possible, Dear One, that this you in still somewhere inside? I am giggling at the whimsy, the joyful feeling the thoughts illicit. It is a rainy day and I know the sun is hiding somewhere, that it may burst forth in glorious light at any given surprise moment. This is what excitement and anticipation can do for the spirit in the waiting for the brightness, a return of light promised. In the dark clouds of experience, sometimes a childhood is lost, stolen, tarnished. In the brokenness, the child blames self, other, someone, anyone to explain the pain and place it or misplace it. Left there in the sweetheart is a hole needing filling. The sense of void can last a life time, an adult life time. Everywhere we look Dear One, there are children walking in adult bodies, wanting, needing, hoping for the resolution only a healed heart can provide. The years pass but sometimes the pain does not, in fact it can and does intensify in many, causing physical sickness because the emotional distress is not addressed, given the attention it needs. Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." How true is this Psalm for you Dear Reader? I believe we reach for solace in ourselves first, in humans second and in God last. It seems reasonable to me to have this natural order, since we live in our own skins, see others all around us and have a super hard time, even with squinted eyes, to see God! The order also makes sense given our natural ways. A baby delights in parental love and looks to this first source for more of the same. It is logical to look in the same place for our needs to be met. But humans, lets face it, we disappoint, don't we? We do, Dear One, until we ourselves, are tended to and mended. 

It is cloudy still and yet, I know the Son has risen every day of each of our lives. He is the tender, the mender, the one that welcomes children. You are His Sweetheart, Dear One. He sees the gentle, innocent, trusting you, the one that wants to be noticed and loved. You are safe in His presence, have no fear there. Start with Him first and He will lead you to some humans that are equipped to help heal your broken heart. The child in you needs to know love so that the adult in you can live it. 

Available

How available are you Dear Reader? There are people in your life. Do they float in and out of your consciousness? Are they real to you or just other strange beings infiltrating your space and thinking, interruptions to your day? What and who are you to them? Who are you, who are they? I have been attending yoga classes at a studio dedicated to this practice. Attendees are invited to enjoy the silent tranquility of sessions. I have to tell you, it is the only time in my day that is silent, despite the many people sharing the space. There are noises with the movement of participants and the gently delivered quiet instructions of the instructors and yet, there is the glorious experience of non talking that is allowing me to listen to my own quiet voice. And then, there is God. Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." You see Dear Reader, I have to get over myself first before I can be still and know our God. I get caught up in the fray of doing, accomplishing, being noticed, making a difference in the world and being my own biggest deal. Selfish? Yes, yes, call me this, accuse me of this character flaw. I will tell you now that the price I pay for being self absorbed is people become things that interfere with my space, my thinking. They become interruptions and road blocks to where I believe I want to go. My thinking becomes jagged, my reactions edgy and impatient. I want everyone to go away or perhaps, shut up but mostly, I want me to go away and shut up, be still. How about you Dear One? How, if at all, do you relate to what you are reading? If God commands us to be still in order to know Him, to exalt Him, are you doing this for yourself and for your relationships? This piece is entitled available. How available are you to you? How available are you to God and His quiet instructions? How available are you to others and the love that needs to be shared as you relate to one another? What if we are here to master the art of love Dear One? Master the art of love. This is my quest, won't you join me today?

The Battle of the Spirit

The battle of the spirit is this: wanting to feel love but often feeling rejected. How much of our lives are spent longing, searching, trying to grasp the evasive soul satisfying feeling of being 100% loved, Dear Reader? It starts with a babes first cry of hold me, feed me, love me. I read recently that babies fed the same amount of food gained weight at different speeds, depending on how much physical contact and exercise they were engaged in. The babies that were exercised and held gained more weight than the babies who were just fed, which seems counterintuitive since they were metabolically more active. We are more than just bodies with physical needs. We are more than just cells requiring food for consumption to keep us growing...

"Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said, "If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread." Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God." Matthew 4:1-4

Our souls crave things of the Spirit. We want to see love in the eyes of others when their gaze is turned our way. We long for eyes of compassion, of sweet sentiment, of understanding and acceptance. We long to be seen the way God Almighty sees each of us, reflected in the human eyes of those we share time, space and life with. What does love see and how does love look at each of us? The fact that Jesus is man and god is a wonder and a gift. His love is not syrupy sweet or lukewarm like reheated soup, it is truth in the moment and a vision of the future you and me all wrapped up in one glance, one brief look into our eyes. He sees past our daily bread into our beyond and it is there He takes each of us when we live from Gods words, Gods longings for us. If you feel Gods love, see Him looking your way with His tender and penetrating gaze, won't you do the same for each person you lay eyes on today? It is in the giving of love that we feel closest to becoming more like the God part of us. In each of our human frames is built some kind of transport system to the outer reaches of the universe, the spiritual realms of Saints, Angels and our God. Your look of love can be the food someone needs today. It may save their life. Love is ultimate power.

Acquiesce

To accept something reluctantly but without protest, acquiesce. It means I disagree but I give in without fight. It is a throwing up of the hands, a throwing in of the towel minus the actual effort of doing so...it is the easy way out. There are so many ways to do this, aren't there Dear One? How about each time we say yes to one more of something making it one too many? Acquiescence is a yes sans resistance. It is a quiet approval, despite the voice inside that says this isn't what I really want. Yes and no are powerful words and the fear of using no too often can have us saying yes, yes, yes to our own detriment and ultimately, to the detriment of our relationships. The overused yes can lopside us, make us feel as though we have no say and resentment can built to relationship breaking points. The over giving has bitterness overflow as a consequence and this, this acts as acid, eroding trust and intimacy. Eventually, we get what we want separately from one another giving in without resistance to the wooing of self gratification. How does this acquiescence take over? How does it happen to the best of you and me, to the relationships we hold as sacred? I see it as a subtle insidious sneaking in, one unspoken no at a time. We humans have to navigate this world, share it with one another. The give and take, come and go with each other can feel like life threatening rapids when I am paddling down stream and you are paddling up. The out of sync and time feeling can jar our raft and capsize us, tumbling us out of safety and into rough rock hewn waters. In the rapids, there are choices to be made. Getting back into the safety of the raft is paramount for survival. Using raw, pure strength and power of will gets you and I back into the floatation device and while we gasp for air and confidence that we are physically safe, it becomes clear that something must change in order for us to stay within the safe confines of the raft and make it to our predetermined destination. There cannot be a hap hazardous approach to our paddling. I cannot choose to go in the opposite direction and you cannot work against my efforts if we are to arrive together. We must, by necessity, work in unison. Meeting of the minds and hearts is cosmic glue. It is not a yes or a no, it is the gift of discernment and flow. I must, you must, keep our eyes on the island we hope to anchor ourselves to. Where do you want to go Dear Reader and with whom? What do you need to say here and now to keep acquiescence from stealing your trust in the ones you profess to love? Don't give in without a fight, love requires you to stay all in and never give up. You must never give up. 

Discipline

Where does discipline fit into your life? I am thinking along the lines of: training oneself to do something in a controlled and habitual way; activity that provides mental or physical training. Does discipline appeal to you Dear Reader? If so, how come? If not, how come? What appeals to me about discipline is the self awareness it affords when I am decisive and choosey about my time and energy. It feels clean. I have given myself over to instruction for the past several years. I want to learn from others, watch them and collect all the best practices available to me in this amazing life. In the past five days, I have attended yoga. While I am very comfortable being physical, I have not always been comfortable with being guided through yoga classes because I have a limited range of motion. A limited range of motion...my guess is that I am adding reach, extension and elegance to my life each time I give myself over to be guided, physically. I am and always have been, an experiential learner. It feels good to be student without the desire to be expert. In yoga class I do not speak, make suggestions, have a say in what is next or how long a posture will last. I am there to follow. Sometimes, I receive the blessing of the instructor who will adjust me gently, helping me move into a stronger position, one I can hold for that much longer. This always gives me a feeling of reward and accomplishment. I am becoming well adjusted, so to speak. Here is what the Bible has to say about discipline in Hebrews 12:12-13 "Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Make level paths for your feet, so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed." How delightful. Then, there is this wonderful Proverb 12:1 "Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid." Yes, the word stupid is in the Bible and it speaks to the stubborn soul that enjoys blissful self imposed ignorance. I leave you with this thought. You are not feeble or broken. You are loved by God and He wants to make you feel whole. He teaches and disciplines His children and my Dear One, He wants to train you and me up, in His ways. The proof is in His word. 

"Slaying Resistance"

Noncommittally committed 

This morning, I had a plan set in my mind and within the plan was a 9:30 yoga class. I was noncommittally committed. This has been a theme for me that I am heaven bent on breaking. I want excellence in my life and yet, the price of payment for said excellence is consistency, vigilance, a stay the course at all costs attitude.

Developing emotional muscle and self-governance 

This is the emotional muscle I am developing dear reader, the me that perhaps God wants me to become so that I have the strength, tenacity and courage to persevere when it would be much easier to sigh, quit and have a nap. In speaking with my cousin this morning, I mentioned my urge to ditch yoga along with my urge to go to yoga. Funny thing, the tension of accountability to self-I must self govern, no one will do this for me and you dear one, are in this same boat, are you not?

Last week I wanted a schedule, something to follow, created by someone else to keep me regulated, to force me to make good use of my time. This morning I wanted to follow through on my plans for my own sense of well being. I looked at my schedule and considered, if not now, than when? If I don't do what I say I am going to do, want to do, have to do now, than when? When will I fit in yoga but more importantly, when will I fit in the big life altering, game changing stuff that God wants me to complete in his perfect timing? I am envisioning being shaped and formed for a purpose, in training for the grand battle of wits that may await me, await us, dear reader.

Go ahead, write it in there and follow through

Dare to put your hopes and dreams in writing

What is God preparing you for? Are you struggling with staying the course, accomplishing what it is you are meant to accomplish? What about all those un posted hopes and dreams that haven't made it onto your calendar, that float around you? The ones you dare not put in writing because of the nerve that would get hit each time you failed to follow through?

Becoming the best version of ourselves

Are you wondering if I made it to yoga class dear reader? I did, indeed, attend and fully participate in yoga, which set me up for following through on the many other tasks, menial and grand, for the rest of my day. Here is what came to me from my cousin after the class: "You cannot become the-best-version-of-yourself unless you wake up every morning ready to slay resistance." Matthew Kelly, taken from Resisting Happiness.

The best version of you, of me, happens when we "slay resistance". What are you resisting and how happy will you be when you slay this life defying dragon?