Individuation

Individuation. It's a word that has stayed with me since university days. It is the process of separating oneself out from others, a normal natural self discovery time of who am I? It goes something like this: babyhood to eighteen the child is led, taught, guided, advised by parents, adults with influence in their lives; eighteen to twenty one, young adult begins to question what they have been taught and starts to throw away what does not make sense, what seems illogical and biased on the part of the misguided adults they have been unduly subjected to. Resentment for being tricked, lied to may show up and this causes tension between the young adult and the parents or adults of influence in the child/young adults life. Attitude is tell me the truth, I can not tolerate less than the truth, life MUST make sense. At about twenty to twenty one, there is a dawning, a knowing that the world is complicated, it is never black and white, right and wrong, it is a confused jumble of what ifs and wherefores and the young adult tail spins and realizes, to quote Socrates "All I know is that I know nothing". Twenty one to twenty five, young adult has taken from youth and from new adulthood learnings and decides what to keep, what to throw away~pruning their belief systems. These are the hallmarks, the rights of passage for many a thoughtful life traveller. Change inevitably leaves marks, little nicks and their resultant scars on the relationships that started out with babe in arms and at some point turned into something new, yet to be investigated, new terrain to travel with some construction, yield, bumpy roads ahead signs warning the travellers to proceed with caution. Parenting, the only job in the world that can fulfill & frighten all at the same time with the knowledge that doing it right is virtually impossible. Young adulthood, the exciting and unsure place of what is next and does it matter? Love is the only forever glue that heals all, knows all and can see around all the corners and turns in life. Flowers can be seen bursting forth through concrete, walls and sidewalks constructed to keep nature at bay and under control...each human is a wild flower with the seed of greatness within waiting to burst forth in glorious brilliance, unencumbered by man, undaunted...the flower can't help itself, it does not know any better, it simply must BE, do what comes naturally. I dedicate this to my son, Matthew Ryan Byers. My gift from God, my little King, you are a changling. I see the man you are becoming and I await further instruction from our Heavenly Father on this next, new part of our relationship. Faithfully devoted, your mum, LGB