YOU

That's good, but it would be better if...I like it, why don't you try this next time...what do these statements mean to you? Have you ever heard them directed toward you? Have you ever heard them, coming out of YOUR mouth and directed towards another? Perfectionists everywhere, beware, these are the words that strike at the heart of the receiver and I'm wondering, how often are these words turned inward? Don't mistake my message. Excellence is valuable and attainable~aspiring to excellence is well, excellent. The point I am making is that the above statements are insults robed in subtlety and supposed helpful tips and hints and the message is that whatever has been delivered is not quite good enough and with a few touches from an expert, vast improvements can be made. Where does that leave the corrected one, the person who's efforts and product or service lacks a certain something? I don't know, you tell me? I'm not a perfectionist and I am thankful for this because I have much delight over kind gestures, imperfect compliments and the sincerity wrapped up in strange and wonderful gifts. I am forgiving of mistakes because I make them all the time and ask for forgiveness all the time, how sweet for me! No room for perfection around here and I'm happy about that because of the head and heart space it affords me to think and be this way. It's fun being me...it took some time to not take myself too seriously and now that I'm here, I'm a good time. How about you, is it fun being YOU?

A Touch of the Eternal

What gives you "a touch of the eternal"? I'm reading John C. Maxwell's book, The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth and I picked up this theme from his book. His question is "why do you do what you do?" In his book he speaks of gaps, the idea that where you are and where you want to be may be far apart. How come? I mean if this is the case for you, what answer(s) do you have for this great divide, this gap of you here and your dream being wayyyyyyy over there? Give yourself a five minute meditative gift and ask: does my day feel like an endless eternity, a trap of never ending sameness, a repeat OR is my day like a reaching forward, a swishing past the thin veil that separates the real from the surreal, a brushing shoulders with the heavenlies, the ones that see past the here and now into the great eternity of the beyond? I took myself to the other side in the later part of that picture question and I hope you did too. Here are the facts...money, it comes and goes and there is lots of it out there to be had. Time, well that's a whole different animal, it goes and never seems to come back. What you do, what I do with time, energy, interests is of supreme importance because it can and does shape the world we live in and the lives we touch or more poignantly, the lives we DON'T touch when the gap between where you are and where you want to be remains an abysmal chasm. Every person has a purpose, a job to do. Ultimately, we are all in a service industry and what I do for a living should be, could be, is, just that, I do it to live and to be advocate for others to live fully too. I get paid AFTER I speak life, share life and hope with another, this sharing of life is my "touch of the eternal", it stays with me long after the money I earned is spent. Loop time, why do you do what you do? What would a touch of the eternal look like in your life? Be bold now, how do you close the gap, build a bridge to the other side? Time is not on your side, tick tock, tick tock...what will you do? 

Time in a Bottle

Death, dying, the edge of them both. How to live knowing that death is eminent? Do you face it head on, say hello death, I see you lurking there in the shadows, waiting for me, a thief ready to steal what is not yours. How about this, I see you not death, you do not exist in fact, I will cheat YOU, you have no say, no hold on me, I AM and I CHOOSE. Sigh, both weaken me and feel like a fight, bravado, a human approach to a supernatural extravaganza. Dying truly is a solo act in many ways because our souls are attached to our bodies and we each travel independently of one another in these vehicles of pain and pleasure. Heavy on my heart is death too soon for the many who suffer the persecution of a body that has turned against them, like an army of enemy soldiers who have breached the wall of protection and freely ravage and destroy~this is an unbelievably cruel living hell, one perhaps that only death can free a person from. Then, does death become welcome friend? I have not yet visited that threshold and can only wonder, even marvel at it from here. I am not afraid of death AND I am well aware that life is my greatest God given gift. I read recently that time is everyone's most precious commodity~the song Time in a Bottle comes to mind and makes me long for more of it, with those that have gone before me, across to the other side. You have someone you love that you miss and haven't seen for a while, spoken to? Tell them now, you miss them, love them, pray for them, that you care. It may be the gift that heals you both.

Feel It To Heal It

You touch a hot pan and instantly, you feel the burn and using good sense, you reach for ice or some other remedy to stave off blistering. You touch a hot pan, you feel the burn and make a mental note that there will be a blister later, you continue cooking, company is coming and you put off dealing with what will be an evident injury soon enough. In your preparation frenzy, you can feel that spot on your arm, demanding attention. The arm is not impeding your progress, you carry on and as planned, dinner is served. While sharing your wonderful food with good friends, you lift a glass, toasting your company and there it is, for everyone to see. You had forgotten about the burn and now the person across the table from you says "ouch, that's quite the blister, that must have hurt!". Suddenly, it does hurt, or maybe it hurt all along...you dismiss the injury, it's nothing, it will heal, "anyone for dessert?" you cheerfully ask? Company leaves, you are alone and somehow, the blister hurts more than it did beforehand, and you wonder how that is possible? Distraction served a purpose and now here you are, you and your pain causing burn. What will you do to heal the hurt you feel? How will you take care of yourself? You know what I am driving at. You may bury your pain, the hurts and injuries that life and people have caused and yet, they are still there, wanting you to turn your attention to them for the healing they deserve. You may believe that no one can see your pain and I am here to tell you that like a blister, pain eventually leaks out and discerning care filled eyes and ears look for see and hear your masked pain. You are the one, the brave and bold soul that must acknowledge your injury, pay attention to the healing remedy you require and take hold of your own wellness~you've got to feel it to heal it, know it's there to show you care, about YOURSELF. Once you acknowledge your hurt, there are people who want the very best for you, waiting to be by your side as you take steps to fortified strength. You are wondrously made and healing is available, help yourself today. 

Half That

Half That. I read an article years ago that stated we consume 50% more calories than we think we do in a day. For those of us who have tried to lose or maintain a certain weight, the suggestion of count your calories is familiar as a dietary tool. The purpose of this becomes evident when food is considered for consumption and then the decision is made, worth it or not worth it? The ultimate goal is awareness, being on task with an established goal requires attention to the details, in this case, every little calorie and all the little friends it hangs out with that want to make your butt or belly their new home. So, here's my logic, if we consume 50% more than we think we do and we want to lose some weight (we are in this together now), than one easy way to do this is to half that, that's right, fill your bowl with pasta & your moms meat sauce (mine is cooking right now), and than be bold and brave, put half of that back in the pan from whenst it came! How much do you need? Half that is the answer. Maybe half THAT is the next answer in the que. Half that may mean a whole new you, where else can YOU use Half That? To be more direct here, what you need and what you want may be two different things and unawareness can lead you down the path of never never get there land. What do YOU want, figure it out and let someone know, accountability is a beautiful thing. 

Protective Custody

Protective Custody started long ago, it was a mandate from God, an instruction to Moses for those who accidentally killed another, a person that may be pursued by a relative of the deceased, seeking to avenge the loss of loved one. It worked like this: I throw a stone and unbeknownst to me, the trajectory of said stone is in direct line with the body of another, that person dies. I have killed, I am not innocent of killing and yet, I am innocent of murder, my stone throwing was never to have resulted in hurting or killing another. Witnesses can attest to these facts and yet, there may be an angry, hurt relative that cannot accept this truth and in their emotional state of shock, pain, grief, they seek to retaliate. The stone thrower, in this case, me, is told to go to an established safe place, a town dedicated as a haven of protection where a priest, a man of God, becomes my shield, until he dies. I am not to leave the town until the priest dies and than I am free to return home...think of the pain of loss for all. The family of the dead loved one must live with memories, no longer able to have and to hold the person they loved. The stone thrower must live with knowing that they caused death and that despite their lack of malice in killing, someone out there may want to make them pay for having taken what is precious from them. God knows hearts, the hurt and pain that lives there, the inability to right wrongs that we wish desperately to make amends for. It is not humanly possible to fix, glue back together, turn back clocks or undo a stone that has been thrown. Our only protection and shield from what has become, is God~He alone provides a safe haven, a refuge from...what do you need refuge from? What is it that can't be undone? To whom do you turn for safety? Notice, the stone thrower is not innocent of killing, only innocent of the intention to kill. We are not innocent, because for every stone we throw, there are countless ones that have malice enrobing them. Gods mandates, the ones that He gave as law to His people, the Isrealites, are the very same laws that govern us today. His instructions were protective and instructive, covering us with how to'es for living. Most importantly, He wanted us to know that it is He that judges, protects, saves, that man alone is just that, alone and wide open to attack. Knowing human frailty and inclination to reaction, God governs for the greatest good of mankind and His only request is that we abide, honour Him and have reverence for His governance. The Priest in the Old Testament is an archetype, a foreshadowing of Christ. Curious? Read it for yourself, The Bible as all time best seller makes sense, it is the precursor of ALL books worthy of reading. 

Splinter & Thorn

A splinter in your eye, a thorn in your side...a vexation to your spirit. What vexes your spirit? I am in a state of admiration for the clients I have the privilege of working with, the brave souls that almost willingly bear and bare all for the sake of the people in their lives, the relationships that are valuable to them. I say almost willingly because when a coaching relationship starts, clients aren't too sure of what is in store for them. Coaching is uniquely wonderful and when client and coach are magnetically drawn to work together, everything is possible. It is in relationship that trust and truth are mutually shared and in this environment, vulnerability and soul exposure become glorious expressions with sunrises and settings...there is newness in the learning and a putting to bed of the old ways. Seeing wonder and hope in the eyes of another is one of the greatest gifts available to mankind, it speaks to renewal and the shedding of old dust coated clothes. Getting help is a character statement~clients want for themselves and are willing to do the hard and sometimes painful work of looking firstly at themselves and then out into the world. Who am I is the question? What do I want, believe? What is most important to me? How will I show the world who I am? Ask yourself these questions, they are the ones that are rarely asked and when they are asked, the deep soul searching begins. Staying the course to being who you say you are is the work after the work...digging into the ground, uprooting rocks and trees and roots, these are the splinter in the eye, the thorn in the side. Pouring the concrete for your foundation, that is the who I am part of your structure. Building the frame and walls, these are your protection from the elements, the outside influences that threaten to change the you you have discovered. The inside of the house, the haven, where many or few are invited in to see who you are, this is where what is most important to you shows up. What kind of house have you built? How have you decorated it? Who is welcome there? What does your house say about who you are? Can it (you) be blown over with one hardy puff? Is your structure, your character sound? 

What needs be plucked from your eye, your side, in order to free you? What vexation of the spirit holds you captive? I dedicate this to my clients, the brave, the bold, the courageous builders that heal themselves for the sake of others~I am beholden. 

Fine Lines

I have been thinking about fine lines and when and how they get crossed. One of mine is when I travel sideways and over the thin line from being discerning to being judgemental. Discernment is a gift of the spirit and means the ability to judge well. Judgemental is defined as having or displaying an overly critical point of view. I can feel when I am crossing over to the dark side because I have a strong need to be right, to justify my opinion or take on a given situation. Being judgemental is a red danger zone for me because in relationship, it leaves very little room for autonomy and freedom of expression for other. Discernment, on the other hand, presents as a gift for both parties, information that can be shared, observed that is clean and pure without the taint of human muddying. With discernment, truth can be shared in safety, even if the truth is painful. The gift part of the discerning are the options that become available to choose what is next, to judge what is prudent, wise, beneficial. Discernment is knowing a truth, being judgemental is having an opinion and it may very well be far far from the truth. What are your lines? When do you cross over to the dark side? What excuses do you make for "going there"? What brings you back into The Light or is darkness your perpetual keeper? What lines are you willing to draw in the sand...oh wait, that's a whole other topic. 

To Be

To Be or not to Be, that is the question...Shakespeare. Here in lies the huge question of our being, our existence. Sometimes being in this world is painful, a challenge, a struggle. Being can also be a joy, a delight, a glorious expression of aliveness. Perhaps you identify with all of the above with a penchant, a leaning in one direction or the other? The way I am writing this, it's an either or and I ask that you consider which perspective you are most inclined toward~struggling in this life or experiencing joy. Simplistic, yes, and the question is how do you "be" whilst you still "are"? My aim is not to limit human expression, I am targeting YOU, asking that you self assess and ask what is my view, from inside this shell, this soul that is housed in the vehicle of my body? I recall hearing these phrases growing up: born to suffer; born alone, die alone. I laugh at writing these phrases, a sardonic reaction to the messages in the phrases. Being cynical is a harsh reality, one born from pain and suffering~it is a tainted view that can colour a personality, relationships, a life. It is also a chosen perspective, to see life and relationship this way, a self defence mechanism gone haywire. To die alone means that you also lived, alone, separated from other, isolated unto yourself. If you were to die today, what word would people use to describe your departing? Who would people say you were, what life meant to you, what your gift to the world was? When remembered, would it be fondly or with unresolved troubled mixed emotions? Were you a struggler or joyful? Pain is a transformative gift and we all must experience it, I'm grateful for every pain filled aware moment in my life, it helps me appreciate pain freeness and resultant joy extravagantly. It's like going to the osteopath with a stiff neck and not realizing how painful it was until I'm in my car backing out of my space and realizing I can turn my head, pain free, woohoo! Now, here we get to the point, the tough spot, the choice part of all this nonsense. How much of miserable and or joy are YOU responsible for? How much struggling in life can be attributed to your own inner messaging system? Were you born to suffer, is that your modus operandi? Do you complain far more than celebrate? Come on, you know the answer, what is your inclination? Grin, I hope you choose joy, celebration, LIFE, celebrating all the special little offerings, small yet to be unwrapped gifts that surround you. Do your own soul a favour, get an adjustment if misery and difficulty with resultant struggling are the only tunes played in your head and heart, invest in a new tune and listen as life begins to play a melody, right before your very ears. 

I Might As Wells

I might as well...have you ever said these words, like a nonchalant word shrug attached to some form of self indulgence? You want an example you say? The might as wells go something like this as it pertains to food or drink, of the alcoholic variety: I'm on vacation, I might as well; its a holiday, I might as well; we have company, I might as well; I'm bored, sad, mad, I might as well; lastly, I'm already too far gone, fat, miserable and beyond hope, I might as well. Wait, yes, wait...who teaches just wait? I remember reading about fitness results and bench marks. Three months of consistency with workouts and healthful eating shows up at this point and results are visible, measurable, appreciable. At six months, changes are undeniable. One workout added to many workouts is transformative. The incremental changes are significant and the payoff for persistence can change health status and ultimately, longevity. The same is true with every indulgent shoulder shrug of I might as well...over time, the changes are visible, measurable, undeniably evident. Evidence is representative of habit and cannot be hidden, at least, not for too long. So, at this point there is a directional challenge. Hitting the mark is impossible without an established target, the challenge is finding the target and determining what a bullseye looks like. Once this is established, the how to parts of aiming can begin. I used fitness as an example and you get to choose your own target. You can't get there without knowing where there is...I learned this question technique today from two great friends who learned it from a pro~what's up, so what, what now? Don't let the might as wells determine your direction, you get to choose what, when where with whom and how, it's your life.