Privilege

I sit and wait alone, in my room...these are the words to an old Yaz song and I like the lyrics because I can relate. My favourite in my house location is the love seat in my bedroom. In fact, I am lying here now, writing. My dog is my ever present companion and as I look around, I see why I love this room so much. It's mine~yes, I share it with my husband and yet, in so many ways, it is all mine. God meets me here, I know Him here, the world is out there somewhere and He is with me. At times, I resist Him, distract myself from being in His presence because I feel more when I am with Him and sometimes, I want to feel numb. It's easier to not feel, not think, not notice. In His presence I am reminded that He always feels, is forever mindful, notices all and that He wants me for His work. My joy is to know Him, my shame is in avoiding Him. Purify~it's a word that keeps coming to me along with an insane number of white butterflies, flirting with me, fluttering close by and dashing away on unseen air highways. Being with Him is a cleansing, a washing clean, from the inside out. Humans can be a tricky lot, me included. We dilute and delude ourselves, water down our greatness and make excuses for our yuckiness. I only want the good stuff and sometimes I resist it~the contrary condition of being a human with more choices than dare I say, common sense? Washed clean, the caked mud falls away and my eyes are cured of their blindness~He wants me to see, hear and than go do, His will. What a privilege.