Soul Ping Pong

St. Thomas Aquinas saved my mortal soul with his five proofs for the existence of God. The depths of despair engulfing me, Frederick Nietzsche had done a number on my psyche with his hierarchal view of men and atheistic disdain for God. You lead, I follow, to Hell and to Heaven. In university, exposed to great deep thinkers, I became a ping pong ball, swatted to and fro across the netting and periodically smashed on the table for a game point for the opposing teams, alternatively. Most philosophers are atheists and I am grateful for this because I lived on the brink, on the edge of despairing death whilst reading their works, convinced by powerful arguments of the truth they seemed to have laid hold of and exposed. The black night of my soul endured and I lay awake at night and said to God "I'm sorry God, I just can't believe in you"...than it started, the visitations. There had always been that shadowy figure, hovering in the corner of my room, waiting, hungry, ready to attack, choke me in my sleep. With my lack of belief in God established, one night I spoke boldly "if you're so tough, why don't you come and get me?"...foolish invitation to this entity to enter, I lay unprotected, without God. Fast forward ever so slightly, my sister and I sit chatting in our family room, it's January and we are alone. I feel a tap on my right shoulder and I glance, seeing the outline of a figure, I believe I have imagined this and I turn back to continue our conversation...something black flies past me, brushing my head, moving my hair...we both see it and become hysterical, filled with fear. My story isn't unique, you probable have one too, or you have heard similar stories and perhaps scoffed at them? The body is animated by the soul, this is undeniable, all you have to do is look at a very still dead insect, animal or human to know that what used to move no longer does and what is missing is the very thing that enlivened it. Spirit exists and while I am disinclined to have personal exchanges with spirited beings, I am inclined to be clear that they exist and have access, foray into our lives when invited in and this enemy, it/they can wreak havoc in lives. Despairing my very existence, it's purpose, it's why, I came to the crossroads of choice: believe in God, sight unseen and seek and find the Truths that establish Him as Sovereign, or spiral downward, enrobed in the darkest dark of despairing soul. St. Thomas Aquinas gave me hope, a ticket home and I am Heaven bound, my faith firmly in place and I know what I know because God tells me so and nothing on earth or in the skies can separate me from the God that created me. I know who I follow and have for a very long time. No human argument required to convince me, Holy Spirit leads me and joy is my companion. The invitation is open for all, He wants none to be lost, in Christ's name, LGB.