Harmony

Harmony...I just finished reading Outwitting the devil by Napoleon Hill. The impact of his work and writing will be long lasting and will unfold over time as I assimilate the Truths revealed therein and as I see them as witness to their validity in the lives of those around me. The internal landscape, the thoughts and preoccupations of the inside of you, of me, it determines what is manifest on the outside, in other words, you are what you think, put simply. This brings me to one of the teaching points in this great bit of writing and quite bluntly it is this: only associate with people who mentally, spiritually and or economically are of benefit to you. I have one friend from university days and this week we spent some time together. It comes as no surprise to me that we have maintained our connection. Much time passes between visits and chats and yet, we have an harmonious vibe when together. I described it this way: harmony is like breathing, feels just about right with every intake and exhale. My friend, she added to this by saying "harmony is ease...not easy, but feeling of rightness...like slippers or flannel...something familiar to our souls...even in hardship...we breathe", ahhhh, yes, that about captures the feeling, doesn't it? Life can be hard or life is what you make of it or "it is what it is", these are all useless and meaningless expressions with hopeless helplessness attached, a sense that nothing can be done, an acceptance of mediocrity~platitudes, a throwing up of the hands form of excuse making for the circumstances, attitudes and behaviours that we cannot change in others...it speaks of staying in relationship while tolerating less than appealing displays of the inner workings of another. I have been back tracking my experiences when I am "triggered" by what another person might say, do, write. I check myself out frequently for my own yuckiness, my own intolerable attitudes and behaviours and I am surrounded by people who love me and are bold and brave enough to challenge me for my own self actualization, the growing up of the better parts of who I am. My wise friend, she spoke of "not easy" and sometimes, there needs be dis ease in relating in order to get to the heart connecting chocolatey truffle centre of relationship. Harmony is the beginning of a relationship, a meeting of the minds and hearts with soul brushing and a cozy warm by the fire flannel feeling as the indicator of true comfort in the presence of another. Test: If the thought of someone makes your lip curl, is that a friend? If the phone rings and its "that client", is it wise to keep taking their money? When disparaged by a relative, must you spend time with them? Better than ditching these people who cause disharmony, are you willing to be bold and brave, for the sake of their self actualization and maintenance of the relationship by speaking Truth to them and challenging their words, behaviours and the underlining belief systems that have them feel like sand paper against the soul rather than flannel? Each person is precious and deserving of love...love shows up when you are willing to take a risk and let another person know what keeps your heart at a safe distance from theirs. We are not our behaviours or words, these are simply an outpouring of what is happening on the inside. Tolerating isn't love, it is a form of disdain, Love willingly goes into dark places and brings the Light with Truth as the Source. Lastly, and this comes with intense clarity, I cannot change another, I will not take on the responsibility for the health and wellness of another. I will love from a distance if harmony is unachievable, support with prayers and a heart of encouragement, my head though? I will not bang it against the stubborn wall of another's heart...my work calls me elsewhere. This is for you my longest term forever harmonious friend Louisa Marziali, I love you and am edified and inspired by you, may abundance be yours. 

Default to Risk

Default to risk. This is an interesting concept given to me in conversation with a brilliant man of God. Last night we had company and one of our dinner guests was a toddler just past the age of one. She can feed herself and while she did, she missed her mouth a whole lot. She can walk and she does, and she often trips or bumps against something and down she goes, looking back to see what the cause of her stumble was...she drinks from a sippy cup and much water covers the front of her clothes. Self blame did not exist for an entire evening of toddledom and while she picked heavy objects up and adjusted to their weight (a two pound dumbbell) gravity pulled her down and with mighty unquestioned baby strength, she got back up again, weight in hand. Her daddy, he was and is a human jungle gym, a training ground for learning how to fly and be caught, teedering on the edge of danger with a safety net of ever ready hands as nets and watchful eyes keeping pace with the business of exploring and learning rapidly. The child laughs easily, loves readily, plays naturally. The parent watches proudly, adoringly and with a desire for the little one to be free, joy filled in the learning. I witnessed what I did not experience growing up, a reminder to me that fear and guilt, along with self consciousness, are taught and are not naturally occurring. This brings me to risk, risk IS natural, normal, factory setting as in born with it~risk takes me/you from crawling to walking to running and than climbing; from feeling to thinking (YES, IN THAT ORDER) to saying and doing...defaulting to risk makes me a difference maker, life changer, a force in the world, a change agent a________, a________YOU fill in your own blanks. Self recrimination, self depricating thoughts and words, they serve no one, they speak of the need to know that I/you are loved from the outside in, it is a way of checking in as in "is this okay mommy, did I do this right daddy, do you approve, am I ok, AM I OKKKKKKK?". The sweet toddler, with her sweet jungle gym daddy, they had a system. She took uncalculated risks with him close by and when in danger, daddy was there to catch her as she flew through the air. He is there to guide her, help her check out how far she can go, what she can touch taste and smell and steering her clear of what might harm or hurt her, always with gentle redirection, love and affection. This is how I see my Heavenly Father, wanting for me/you to explore, default to what in adulthood feels like risk, with him as the jungle gym daddy, encouraging exploration while ever present as I/you fly through the air, He is ready to catch us. This is dedicated to Scott Forbes and Ayden Townsend, two daddies modelled after my all time favourite daddy, my Abba Father, God Almighty. 

Men

Waves of appreciation, they wash over me when I think about men. Men, who park their cars in the driveway so that their wives are free to utilize warm garages, protected from the elements; men, who invite women to walk in front of them through open doorways; men, who walk on the traffic side of a sidewalk, old fashioned like to protect the woman from on coming traffic splashes or wreckless drivers; men, who build buildings and homes, parks and pave roads, install toilets and sinks, take out the garbage and plow the driveways and highways of life. Men, who work through exhaustion to feed and clothe and provide creature comforts to their families, completing behind the scenes labour that goes unnoticed, without acknowledgement. I was at a planning meeting recently, five men and little old me...while I said "yes, let's get that plan done", they began working on the how to parts, the logistics, they are the behind the scenes wizards, masterminds that put thought into the things that become realities, materially speaking. Behind the scenes wizards, they do the grunt work, the heavy lifting, the nose to the grind stone labour that is often dressed up in suit and tie, dress shoes and fancy socks. Love pours out of men as they work sometimes to the point of physical breakdown, dedicated to serving those in their lives they feel responsible for, a burden born out of the purest love, the you first, I must take care of you first deep down feeling. I am overwhelmed with gratitude as I consider my own father, his work ethic, dedication to being a tireless provider, right until the end. I look around me and I fall in love with huMANity, the men in my life who can't seem to rest, a luxury they do not afford themselves because there is important work to be done, this day, this hour, this minute. Sigh, I cannot finish this, I cannot write the words to express my sorrow for the oft misunderstood and underestimated position men find themselves in. I can only make a request: look at your man, take a good hard look, ask yourself, what have I done for HIM lately? To the men I admire and love, this one is for you. 

Cotton Stuffed Ears

What are you waiting for? Ever get the feeling things just aren't quite right, that you are biding your time, politely, or impolitely perhaps, distracting yourself for when over happens? Intolerant tolerance, this is what I am speaking of. I'm big on choice, I really am and so, I am able, more then capable really, to change and shift direction in a meeting, a conversation, a mood. This I have done and will continue to do, when I see that there is value added in doing so, in speaking when no one else will because the situation calls for it. Then, there is the banging your head against the wall feeling that comes when no words can possibly change what is, when a battle cry to arms, a call to higher ground, to leaving behind childish things is wasted, falling on deaf ears, blocked from the inside, cotton wool stuffed from the inside out. I know cotton wool, it itches to the touch, it distracts from comfort, it is an agitant. I make observations here, personal ones of course, since I am indeed, the writer. This is a matter of knowing, where and when and how and with whom do I spent my most valuable commodity, my time? Hide and seek of the soul, it is a game I like to play, with partners I know are in the game, want to be found, squeal in delight at being discovered and called out of hiding. I'm shooting for joy abundant, resiliency and having playmates, people to laugh with and get down to serious work with to change the world from mediocre to spectacular. Life is an amazing gift that I get to participate in every day, I move away from tolerating and toward Truth, each time I choose how my time is spent. 

Not Puppets

Shadow self, the dark forces, the enslaving oppressive hopeless helpless voices and naggings from within that somehow feel like an intruder disguised as me, masked as you. The great lie is that the voice(s) are my/your own and they are not, the deceiver, the liar sells fraud, masquerade with chipped and dented psuedo truths to convince and persuade the victim of what isn't Truth. Fear, bravado, pride, self aggrandizement, false humility, excessive shame, unforgiveness of self or other, addiction, the list can go on, these are the signs and symtoms of the shadow, the dark side, painting black over top of brilliance. The shadow is a wooing spirit of deception that preys on it's human hosts insecurities and natural inclinations or predispositions and capitalizes on these existing conditions for the shear pleasure of command, in other words, if the shadow were the puppeteer, I/you are it's puppet. Anything that has a hold on me/you and feels as though I am without choice is a great indicator that some investigation needs happening in that area, and perhaps many more areas. What I write of is not new, it his age old. I have been in the presence of greatness, humans of mastery. These humans fight the good fight, knowing shadow is want to turn them into stringed caricatures of themselves, bouncing them about in a jagged performance unbefitting the Glorious nature of man. In the presence of greatness, there is a sense of awe and wonder, the eyes grow large in an attempt to absorb and capture what is felt and heard as though to record and somehow assimilate, make my own/your own. You and I, we can only be fooled for so long. The human spirit is not want to be toyed with, it wants for and pants after the filling up and abundant overflowing of all that is spectacular and stunningly beautiful to behold. You are not your shadow self, you are not something's puppet, playing the fool. You are created in the image of God and shadow fades and disappears when standing in The Light. Man is made for Glory, less is counted as loss. 

Summon

Summon, "to call for the presence of, as by command, message or signal,; call". This is the word a friend used to describe the communication we had prior to our actual communication. Here is what I mean: I was sending a message to a friend and while doing so, a name popped up on my screen and I was somewhat surprised...within the very next second, the person to whom the name belongs, sent me a text message. My eyes bulged, a little stunned with the instantaneous occurrence. We have all had similar experiences where you think of someone you haven't seen in quite sometime and then you see them or they call...it is always a wonder and in conversation we say something like "this is crazy, I was JUST thinking about you!" Precognition, a knowing that is later confirmed, a sense that is undeniable and proven in the flesh at a later date. I told my friend that I had better pay attention today, for my summons may come in many shapes and forms and it is a call to service when this brilliant phenomenon happens. The veil is thin, between the physical and spiritual realms. We move through this life in a trance until we start to notice, sense, feel into what we perceive and the intangibles become more substantial and palpable than the mere what we can touch and prove with our hands things. I am torn, the physical wants to hold me fast to earthly things, my spirit wants to soar and fly freely...it is summoning me to the Heavens. 

Blazing Trail

It is easy to jump on the bandwagon when someone else has taken a good hard swallow and forged bravely ahead blazing a trail. Stepping out into no mans land is both thrilling and terrifying and contemplation makes the stepping out bittersweet and enduring. There comes a time when the body moves without permission, it is without decision, impelled to go and do and there is no stoppage, impossible does not exist as a concept and I/you find yourself transported in time and space and suddenly there is a still point, a reconciling with the now. Where am I and how did I get here? Here is only part way and it is the brave of heart that continue there voice in the wilderness trek to places unknown and yet mysteriously assured. I wander broken in the desert, the stars lighting the sky, I stumble cut by a cactus, a physical reminder that I am human, I bleed...I lie supine in the rough dry grass mixed with dirt and stone, humbled before my God, the dawning of my wrestling with what was and what shall be. The great chasm closes and I am one with His plan, His calling me forth to my divinely intended identity. I surrender, conforming to the image of Christ for my own sake, and the the sake of those He wants to claim as His own. He knows His sheep, he calls them by name and they that know Him recognize His voice, The Good Shepherd, they are impelled to draw near. Thy Will not mine Lord...

Stay

There are blessings in tenacity. Giving up is easy in the moment, it is the aftermath of having abandoned a project, a relationship, a goal that can cause life long heart burn, dissonance that is like a slow burn just beneath the surface of the pysche. Situational Discomfort comes when I am challenged beyond my so far naturally, progressively obtained abilities. In coaching, the novice coach is taught something called stay and during every training workshop, the leaders invite the trainees to "stay until the end", the designated time that class is actually over. This reminder to stay present has the effect of reeling the would be mind wanderers back to the here and now, the crucial learning ground of self, in the presence of others. Stay is an art form, it is a distinguishing characteristic of a truly engaged student of life. I recently wanted to quit, I felt the pressure and burden of a steep learning curve and my current talents for managing details big and small are diminutive when I look at what is wanting to be created, seemingly out of nothing. In my stay, I see the others, the ones I am learning in front of, the ones who are too, students of life, learning in front of me. We bare witness to one another's vulnerabilities, struggles and fall downs and, and we get to see the get back up tenacity that Delivers blessings through perseverance. Nothing does not exist, there is the yet to be discovered and when I stay, when you stay, the likelihood of discovery increases exponentially and the reward too, grows Powerfully. No thing will stand between me and what is yet to be, I stay because my work, my learning, it is not done. Stay is a choice, and it is yours to make. 

Systems Down Day

Saturday as Sabbath

I have designated this coming Saturday as my Sabbath, a sabbatical leave from technology and dedicated to God. It will be my seventh day, my day of rest. In farmland speak, land was "plowed and harrowed but left unsown for a period in order to restore its fertility as part of a crop rotation or to avoid surplus production".

Seven-year cycles

The ancient Jews, after settling in the Holy Land, began to count and observe seven-year cycles, culminating in a Sabbatical year known as Shemittah, literally "to release". The song with lyrics Please Release me, let me go, comes to mind as the build up toward my day of refreshment and restoration approaches. The intrigue around the number seven abounds and while some consider it to be lucky, it is deeply rooted in creation, a master plan that started before man had the ability to notice patterns and capitalize on them.

God wants to be worshipped 

Choosing to worship

The God of The Bible wants to be observed, appreciated, worshipped on the seventh day of each week. There is a humbling in this, when I/you acknowledge that much has been given to us, not the least of which is our very life's breath. In the Thank-You God day, there is a release from worldly pressures, the field of the soul is left unsown by human hands and God is invited to plant heavenly seeds of otherworldly delights.

I sit still, longing for this and the return to his original plan: he is the Master Craftsman and I am his to shape, from seed to sapling to branch on his tree of life.

Saturday approaches, I choose him. 

Dance, a Language of Love

I teach a dance class, dancing brings me much joy and comes easily to me, it is a body celebration, a way for feelings to be expressed, conveyed. Today, I had two woman in my class, a blessing to me. These women are elderly, new to the country and can speak very little English. Only necessity would have someone at their stage of life take them away from all that they have ever known and loved, including the vastly comforting environment of people speaking their mother tongue, food and clothing they are accustomed to, a faith shared by their brethren...being able to ask for what they want, need, and understanding simple instruction without having to hear the instructions repeated over and over again. I am humbled by the patience of these women who have their stories and history, untold in a foreign land. What did they leave behind and what hope do they hold in their hearts for the life they have here? I am overwhelmed at what I take for granted, a life of freedom and liberty, unrestricted. I can dance and love and laugh speak or not, I can be silent and move slowly and see into the eyes of another and speak wordlessly so that they hear my heart and I hear theirs. Sometimes I feel beyond words and that's when I know that there is always more than meets the eye. Dance is a language of love. 

Talking

Let your words be anything but empty...let your yes be your yes and your no be your no. The Truth is out, excessive talking causes bleeding ears in the would be, wanna be listener. So here it is, the HUGE opportunity that we all get to share in and be a part of, wait for it, waittttt for it, relationships! I know you are thrilled with this revelatory breaking bit of news, so stay with me as I chase down my own connect the dots thinking and capture something big here. If I am in front of you and I am listening, then my assumption (forgive me this assumption in this instance) is that what you have to say is important and I am all ears, especially if I have paid to hear you speak. There is an expression, give them what they came for, and baby, if I'm your audience, I want you to bring it. I'm not talking about performance here, I'm not in need of entertainment, there is something much bigger at stake...it is relationship through connection. I have sat through too many one sided captive audience experiences and I love myself far too much to suffer them anymore, in fact, they make me sick, literally. When a speaker has listeners and asks perfunctory questions in an attempt to include the people in the room, it is painful to watch the lost opportunities to hear hearts, listen to wisdom, feel the love of others and their "why" for what they do. In a world gone mad with getting things done, the talking has turned into talking about connection, with real relationships being lost in the fray. I escaped such a meeting, not nearly soon enough, just this morning. My fight or flight urges where neatly held in check until break was called and then, like a bird in an UNLOCKED cage, I flew freely out of there. I could have left earlier, I could have yelled stop babbling about what should be and start modelling it but it wasn't my place, my opinion was not asked for and I was, I am, at choice to say something, nothing at all or simply, move on if the effort appears to far outweigh potential return. Time is precious, I choose how I "spend" mine...I hope in reading this, you haven't wasted yours!