Ego Be Damned

Today I coached, and it was good.  How do I know this?  Well, I could see the wheels turning in my clients minds, plus, I asked them!  One thing I love about coaching is transparency, in the asking, in the telling, I know where I stand, I know where the other stands. This is learned, I was taught this by masterful coaches. Out of curiosity questions can be asked for the purpose of clarification. Today I assumed nothing in session and asked questions, with expectation or maybe more accurately, with anticipation. I had no answers, no clever advice, I had the here and now with each client and the delight of their unfolding, witnessing their epiphanies and learning ABOUT THEMSELVES.  This had nothing to do with me...I know the gift, the offering of a loving coach, because I have been on the receiving end.  Coaching, it is good, when the client is the only one in the room.  Ego be damned, coaching rules! 

Saints Among Us

Saints, I am surrounded by saints. I marvel at the behind the scenes elegance of the people who work for the Alice Saddy association.  Guileless, egoless, generous loving humans, giving of themselves endlessly, quietly, without the hint of need for acknowledgement or recognition. The Alice Saddy association supports the developmentally disabled, fostering independence, helping individuals by empowering them, advocating for them and encouraging them to live healthy and fulfilling lives.  Many of the supported live barely above the poverty line, with minimal financial support from the government.  There are families on wait lists, hoping that their loved ones can one day experience the care that the Alice Saddy association can provide. On the other hand, there are the grateful ones, the fathers, mothers, grandparents who sing the praises of Alice, knowing that their family member is counted among the lucky few who get extraordinary care from the extraordinary saint like staff.  There is a need, for funds, for awareness and appreciation, for volunteers, for loving beyond limitations.  If my child needed the Alice Saddy association and he had to wait, I would be devastated. This is the state of affairs for many families who need support. How can I pick one person to dedicate this to when so many deserve acknowledgement and would feel uncomfortable out of pure hearted modesty to receive it?  Today, I shall pick one, Diane, this is for you.  I left out your last name out of respect for your glorious modesty. 

Quest for Authenticity

The word authenticity begs a quest, as everyone is wanting to be this thing, authentic. Posers prevail in a smoke and mirrors world and it is rare that someone, anyone, asks with keen interest, what do you value?  This past weekend marked the one year mark of the start of my quest for this authenticity thing, and what I learned is that it forever and always, starts with me, by going within. The tools of the coaching trade draw heavily on what is valuable, valued, and from this starting point, the inner spot light searching begins. Was I inauthentic before, insincere, disingenuous, a big hairy liar?  I don't believe this to be true, but I did have defence mechanisms in place and I probably still do, although they are smaller and easily identifiable and thankfully, I am willing to have them knocked down with an out of order sign placed on them. This takes me back to me, and you, and valuing self as the answer to the question of being authentic.  Pleasing others is a guessing game, sometimes we get it right, sometimes we miss the mark, making us wonder what we did wrong or could have done differently.  When living according to what we value, we stop this nonsensical game and start being what we believe.  I believe in my own humanity, that it am here to love and learn, share and receive, and so much more. How can I go wrong when these are my guiding principals, when these are my valuables? What are yours, who are you, who knows the real you and if no one does, what are you protecting yourself from?

Truth And Dare

Truth and dare. Dare to tell the truth. I'm reading a book about truth telling, called Radical Honesty.  I like honesty, and it likes me.  In any seek and find mission, there is discovery and truth is no exception. This book I'm reading is a copy, it is one more voice in time calling, pleading for humanity to take account, be accountable, for feelings, thoughts, words, deeds, to be responsible and not commit the fraud of blaming another for where I am right now, who I am in any given moment, what I present to the world as a representation of being me. All books of Wisdom call out for Truth, and any and all recreation of this message is a replica, a copy.  Lies lies lies yah, their going to get you, lies lies lies yeah...it's an old song, a warning that the lies we tell, verbalized or withheld, they get us, keeping us restless and less than, captive to non truth.  Honesty starts with me and then I must dare to take it to my people and hope and pray that they too, are on a seek and find mission for the Truth. 

Tapped Out

Today I went to the mat, held down by the power of coaching...in my surrender I was held captive to the tenants of the coaching model. In a resent coaching session, I got aggressive, opinionated, out of a desire on my part to have the client make choices that would serve her well, that would resonant with her values. There is a fine line between being fiercely courageous for the client and pointing them in the direction I AS COACH, want them to go.  Coaching wrestled me to the ground since my last session, reminding me what my job description is, reminding me that everyone is naturally creative resourceful and whole and that the answers to life's big questions come from within, NOT from an outside source...not from a coach, a councillor, a consultant, an expert~God knows I don't like to be told what to do or what to think!  Today I have the opportunity to coach, I mean really coach, with ears that hear, eyes that see, a heart that feels...today I tap out, coaching wins as I surrender to its wisdom. 

Frogs and Scorpions

There once was a frog and a scorpion.  Being a naturally great swimmer, the scorpion requested of the frog a ride across the river on the frogs back. Looking the scorpion in the eye, the frog stated "I will not give you a ride to the other side, you are a scorpion and you will sting me".  Not to be put off, the scorpion replied "well I can't swim, why would I sting you, we would then both drown".  Unconvinced, the frog again refused the request, to which the scorpion appealed "look, I don't want to die, I simply want a ride to the other side of the river, I promise not to sting you if you give me a ride". This seemed to make sense to the frog and with the promise in place and abit of trepidation, he agreed to giving the scorpion the ride. The scorpion climbed onto the frogs back and off they went. Things were going swimmingly (pun intended) when about half way across the river, the frog felt the unmistakeable pain of a sting in his back.  Knowing that the scorpion had stung him, he asked in disbelief "you stung me, why would you sting me, now we are both going to die"  The scorpions reply?  "I'm a scorpion, it's in my nature".  Here is a line for you to ponder:  disposition determines direction which determines destination. Within this story we have two dispositions. The vile disposition of a self serving scorpion whose direction was on doing evil, misusing another for personal gain and ultimately destined for death. Than we have the giving sharing nature of the frog, whose direction is toward service and disposition is of trusting others when giving their word, whose destination was also death, because the frog did not trust his own instincts, his own knowing, his own nature. While the frog believed that the scorpion was reformed, that given his promise he would not sting temporarily for the sake of both of their lives, what he failed to look for was transformation, a change in nature in the scorpion gaurenteeing that the promise to not sting was a viable liveable promise and not just empty words to convince the frog to do what the scorpion wanted him to do.  The frog was at choice in the story and he did choose, several times, moving from conviction to being convinced, going against what he knew was good for him. I say swim away sweet froggie, go be with your other sweet froggie friends, those who understand you, love you for your beautiful green skin and lovely fit froggie legs.  Hop away from stinging scorpions and let them sting you no more!

Stepping Into Life

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty...the quintessential coaching movie. Beautiful things don't ask for attention, this was a line from the movie.  The main character, Walter, is a daydreamer who in his imagination, lives out the things he wants to say and do. Walter works in "negative assets" at Life magazine, developing pictures and as the story unfolds, his muse becomes a photographer, Sean, who calls him forth to live his daydreams, making them reality. As I watched, Wally transformed, from basement dweller to adventure seeker, daydreamer to reality maker, neverneverland habitant to actualization man speaking the truth daringly, with fearless conviction.  His values took him to action, and all the while he was called out, called forth, by his muse, several muses. That's the coach in us, in me, calling forth, to speak, to live the dream, to love the values so much that the client can't help but live out loud. The shear beauty along with the elegant presentation of the message is unmistakable, to dream without action is nothing, a lost opportunity, to dream and step into the dream and live it, that if LIFE.