Looking down, I see a sturdy steel link. Following with my eyes, I observe yet another, interlocking with the first; there are many links, forming a chain, each with their own shape, and differing weightiness; they disappear into the distance, untraceable with my limited vision. I try, one at a time, to lift my feet - it is impossible; the links, forming the chain, are invisibly attached to my ankle's, preventing movement.
Taking a steadying breath, I decide to wait. In the waiting, I start to wondering. How the heck did this thing attach itself to me? When did this happen, and how is it, that I did not notice the weightiness, until a moment ago?
I soon learn, that each link in the cumbersome chain has an instruction for me, or a story to tell, and in my held prisoner captivity, I am meant to stand and listen. Closing my eyes, I place one hand over the other and fit them both, over my left collar bone. In silence, I anticipate and then I startle, at the sound of a voice, coming directly from a link in the chain.
In a deeply resonant voice, Link One informs me, You are free to leave.
What? Are you kidding me? I am free to leave? Do you see how you hold me here, captive, a prisoner, held in place, you and your heaviness friends preventing me from even lifting one foot? You must be kidding me?
Link One continues: You heard me correctly. I tell you again, You are free to leave.
In irritation, I want to berate Link One. I curl my lip in derision but I don't know how to address the link. Free to leave, free to leave: this echos in my mind, disturbing and disrupting my thoughts. I scratch my head and start to consider this concept of freedom and leaving combined.
I hear a crackle, followed by a subtle shattering sound: this glass like fragmenting, has me tilting my head, trying to discern its whereabouts. Turning back to Link One, with a fresh desire to enable untethered movement, I ask, How am I free to leave? Placing my hands criss-cross over my throat, I await Link One's response.
I am surprised to hear Link Two's answer to my question; its suggestively sweet voice draws my eyes to its considerable incommodiousness. How could something as weighty as Link Two, have such a lilting and encouraging voice?
Take a step backward. Lift your left foot, and place it behind you, then your right foot. You need to retrace: there are many remembrances behind you, that you must not leave there. Go find them, and bring them here, Link Two orders.
Dumbfounded, I feel my nose tingling with the start of tears. Go back, you say? Retrace and retrieve, you insist? Isn't the past the past? Am I to relive what was? How is this at all helpful? How will bringing my memories here, to now, give me freedom to leave?
There it is again, the shattering sound, only this time, it is louder, and reverberates for countless minutes, filling the air with tremendous tumult. Alarmed, I unwittingly move backward and away from the noise, and find myself in a memory, frozen in time, touchable with my thoughts and tangible for brief moments only. Lost in what was that is no longer, I look up. A barely perceptible voice is whispering to me and it takes effort to turn my gaze toward the whisper. Try as I might, I cannot make out the words, understand their meaning, or comprehend the message. What, I ask, What is that you are saying? I can't hear you, please speak up.
What holds you in the past?
Pardon? Please speak louder.
What holds you captive?
I still cannot hear you, or maybe I am misunderstanding? Please repeat.
Look at what hurts. Notice how you feel. What pulls you back in time and then, holds you in place?
Link Three is speaking, and I have had to strain to hear. I do not want to hear what Link Three is saying, nor do I have the desire to do as I am instructed, and yet, I have moved backward, and it is a relief to be able to move at all. Smashing, I hear a smashing sound, and it is so close, I am afraid to be impaled by the glassy shards. I notice a sharp object flying fast in my direction, and I dodge the weapon thrown by an unseen hand. I see that my feet have moved in unison, and I am now standing to the right of where I first stood immobilized.
Astounding. This is astounding. I can lift my feet, I can move, in fact, I am going to run! I tell myself this, but as soon as the words are out, and I try to raise my left to leave, I feel the ground beneath me, holding me fast. I am stuck, both feet glued to the ground, and it strikes me, that as much as I want to get out of this holding place, I am not done with the chain links, because they still cling and keep me captive.
Eyes closed, I throw my head back in consternation. What now? Progress is so elusive. Will I ever be free, and what about those shards of glass coming my way, wanting to kill me? Am I fast enough to dodge them all? In my ruminating, I neglect to notice how thin and fragile the links attached to Links One, Two, and Three, have become; if they were people, they would positively be considered skeletal and anemic!
In a weak and accusatory voice, I hear Link Four telling me, You can't walk, let alone run. You will stay where you are.
I am immediately suspicious of Link Four. Link Four is not nice, is not helpful, and certainly does not make me feel as though it is on my side. Link Four, is rude, and I decide to shout at Link Four, You don't know me!
The bust into tiny pieces explosion is deafening, and I cover my ears in an attempt to protect my hearing. I duck low to the ground, crouching, to keep from being smattered with sharp bits of steel and glass. This was a close call, so close in fact, that at my feet lay remnants of what looks like a former link... in a chain?
I slowly unfurl and return to standing. It is quiet, and I do not want to disturb the peace. Looking down, I see Links One, Two, and Three. They lay silently gleaming, still attached, but not to me. I bend down and pick them up, their lightness feeling pleasant in the palms of my hands, then I remember. I peel my eyes away from the fit in my hands chain links, and look toward where the rest of the chain lay. Grinning, I realize, I am truly free to leave, to go where I please, untethered, unhindered, not a captive, but a conqueror, set free.
Those heavy links are gone, smashed to smithereens, and their cumbersomeness is no longer my heaviness.
You too, are free to leave, dear one. You are more than a conqueror in Christ, the One that sets captives free. This world is cumbersome and chain link heavy, but the freedom that awaits you, will have you walking, then running, unhindered, right into the arms of the One that made you.
Now, hear the words of the Lord, Jesus Christ
No comments:
Post a Comment