Blame Shifting - Invisible Fingerprints Remain

In all the years of studying human behaviour and making sense of it, I have never come across the perfect descriptor for what the criminally minded do, when they avoid and evade accountability, responsibility, and ownership, for what they have said and done to injure others. Happily, the other day, I heard the short and punchy phrase, blame shifting, and with this, I had a eureka moment. It is with a marvellous sense of satisfaction that I am able to label the insidiousness that motivates and moves villains, in the direction of casting doubt and aspersions, on their victims, when in fact, they are to blame for the chaos they cause. Shifting blame does not erase the marks left by the vicious and murderous: invisible fingerprints remain, and God knows what they have done, even when humans have yet to figure out the answer to the biggest question of our day: What just happened?

Perhaps, dear reader, you have a blame shifter in your midst, one of those people that perpetually claims innocence, while accusing everyone else of nasty thoughts, slights, insults, insinuations: the blame shifter goes after integrity, suggesting character flaws where none are to be found. The shifter is adept at shooting arrows from afar to affront their human targets, and with shocking accuracy, arrows find their mark, piercing people through in surprising and clearly unexpected ways, and having them wonder, What just happened? 

Perhaps there is a dawning on your part as you piece together their wicked destructive plot. Perhaps you have been observing the blame shifter and the effects of their brutal, remorseless, sneak attacks, on anyone and everyone they deem worthy of their vicious, unwarranted, verbal, and mental, pummelling. The old expression, I got your number, comes to mind. Have you got their number now dear one? Have you figured out their wiley ways, and how much fun it is for them to triangulate, to cause emotional upheaval, to engage you in a battle of the wits so that you feel distraught, exhausted, uneasy, and defenceless? Do you get the fact that they enjoy and thrive, they come alive, when they are bringing you down, and putting you out of yourself?

If a blame shifter is doing what they do best with fantastical results, you will be in high alert defence mode as a natural response to their assaults. You, will feel insecure, while being preoccupied with the second guessing of your own thoughts, words, and reactions; you will feel the urge and need to explain yourself by using factual details in conversations with others, to prove your own innocence. It is never a good feeling to have your character assassinated, and who among us does not want to be vindicated when this occurs? NOTE: the blame shifter does not use facts, they throw blanket accusations in all directions, with the suggestion they have been maimed somehow by you or someone else ... their imagination kindles fire, and burns anyone they include in their fairytales of woe. Because you may very well be a kind, gentle, accountable person, you will look to see if you are indeed, to blame, for any part of what is taking place ... until of course, the clouds clear, your mind is free of cobwebs, and you pull that dart from your heart, and see the blame shifter as the one shooting arrows and wreaking havoc in your life. 

Blame shifters do their deeds with great fervour, and a sense that they can do no wrong, because let's face their twisted facts, they are always right. Challenging a blame shifter is a fruitless endeavour, since this kind of response intensifies their hatred and resentment, and has them frothing at the mouth with thoughts of revenge. Keep in mind, they like the back and forth, they savour the flavour of blood, and lick their lips at the idea of a fresh pound of flesh to naw on, leaving you with a hole you have to contend with and tend to. 

This is where you get to decide to break the pattern and spell, while extricating yourself from the web of lies they have spun in order to capture your attention, and your unwitting compliance with their diabolical game tactics. 

1. Ask yourself: do I trust this person? If not, how come? If I do trust them, am I willing to accept some of the things they have said, along with some of the blame, regarding their accusations?
2. Check your emotions. When you think of this person, do you feel uneasy, upset, nervous, anxious, worried, unsettled, confused, attacked, insecure, unworthy? Emotions are our early warning system, and they inform us of impact. Blame shifters cause distress and turmoil: if you are feeling this way just thinking about certain people, do know that you are dealing with a difficult trouble maker that likes to shift blame onto you and others.
3. Know that you are not the only mouse the blame shifter is batting their clawed paws at. People that play with the mental and emotional well-being of others, do their thing across the board, meaning everyone in their life feels the sting of their manipulative machinations and malignancy. You aren't special, you are just one of many on their daily cat nip menu to munch on. 
4. Triangulation is the shifters favourite weapon. The more the merrier, meaning they like to spread the suffering thickly, on as many people they can include in their plots and ploys to garner attention. Triangulation only works if you are willing to listen to reports from a third party, for instance: She said you said ... She told me you said this about her, and now she is hurt, upset, mad, sad, disappointed. Making things up, taking things out of context, adding meaning where their wasn't even a topic of conversation, are conflict inducing, mind bending ways, for the narcissistic-blame-shifter, to invite defensive outrage from their victims. I have to laugh here, dear reader: I sure do hope you are seeing the patterned behaviour by now, and thinking of the times you were misused by a person like this that you thought you could help ...
5. They don't want your input, your guidance, your help, your insight, your anything. They want to hurt and destroy you, because they have blackness in their souls that has not seen the light of Christ. Anyone that can cause such chaos, does not have good intentions, or any sign of conscience, and must be left to fend for their sick selves, which by the way, they are more than capable of doing, since their manipulative skills are so finely tuned that their is always another sucker they can draw into their web to feed upon. 
6. Consider not engaging with the blame shifter. They love attention, and if they have yours, you will feel exhausted as they drain you of your energy and life force. Blame shifters feel good when they weaken those in their immediate vicinity, and it delights them to have far reaching influence, giving them satisfaction when they realize their powers of persuasion go far and wide. Dear reader, these people are satanic and as godless as the devil himself. 
7. Stop believing you can prove them wrong by proving your own innocence. Blame shifters have incredible ways of concocting extravagant lies that eventually make them look like fools ... Why, pray tell, argue with a fool? 

As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly (Proverbs 25:11)