My New Cologne: Stench

It's great being me. If only everyone knew how great being me is: they would want to be me, but too bad, it is really too bad, because being great isn't for everyone. People can be great, it is true, but not everyone is. There are some people that are and we know them. They are excellent, make a lot of good decisions and they have made a lot of money. They are successful, they are very rich, and I am friends with them because they can be great people to know. 

I made a cologne, I swear buy it. Buy it now, for only $249.00. Buy it for a friend, or a family member, your co-worker. Buy it for yourself of course. It is my signature scent, and I call it Stench. If you want to be like me, smell like me, be great like me, you can buy Stench and wear it to be successful. I stink of success, I can't help it. I reek of riches. Rich people have a certain way, a certain scent. Why try too hard, just buy Stench and you can smell like me, and it will be great for you, even if you aren't me, it will be very very great for you.

I have other products that you can buy. I highly recommend all my products because they have made me very, very, very rich. I am so rich that my name trump's other names. My name is great, and on buildings that tower high, high in the sky. Looking up to me is good for you, very very good for you. Not everyone is as successful as I am. That's okay, you know, have you heard of my daughter Ivanka?  She is very smart, very very smart, and she has some designer clothes that women can buy to feel better about themselves. My children are smart and successful. 

Buy Stench, you will smell great, and feel great. It's great, just great, to be stinking rich! 

Synthetic Hyaluronic Acid

WARNING: READER BEWARE

This blog has been taken over by an unknown alien advertiser. Upon reading this ad in its entirety, you may feel the urge to enlarge the lips attached to your face.

Russian doll lips. Pucker up kissers. Larger than life say Hello smackers. You too, can have enhanced features. We have a solution to your unpleasant hard to look at problem. Answer these questions to see if you qualify as a candidate:  

• Are your lips too small for your taste buds? 
• Are you displeased with your appearance?
• Are your eyes drawn to your lips when you look in the mirror, causing you extreme displeasure and concurrent mood altering pouting? 
• Are you willing to do what it takes to change how you look?
• What about needles? are you okay with sharp objections aimed at your face? 

There is something you can do about those lips of yours that will make you feel beautiful. Hyaluronic acid is a compound the body produces naturally to maintain moisture. something that helps you and I look filled in, in a youthful kind of way. We can filler up, to give you that adorable baby face fullness you long to achieve. Old, as you know, is ugly, and old people die, so let's not go there any time soon. Let's make sure you look good and hold on tightly to what you have, and if what you have isn't what you want, we have the answer to your aging problem. 

Hyaluronic acid can be simulated, and we have mastered the magic of synthetically manufacturing hyaluronic acid (HA), to compensate for you drying out like an old prune. We simply inject HA into your currently teeny tiny almost non-existent and sad looking lips, to plump and perfect, giving you that sexually appealing pouty puss. 

Listen, about the needles. You can close your eyes and imagine the results as you relax in luxury in our well appointed zenny spa atmosphere. In no time, you will be out in the sun - we do recommend sunscreen and have it available in our gift shop; you can buy some and apply before leaving - puckered up without any effort on your part. Those new and improved lips of yours will lead the way, get you noticed, and have you wanting more. Remember: bigger is better; new and improved is progress; you do you; perfection is possible and lastly; the fountain of youth is real, and you have just discovered it!

NOTE: We do make every effort to get to know our clients. We are concerned regarding your state of mind, your mental health as it were. We want to ensure you are sound before we do any life and face altering tweakments. This said, we will ask you some questions regarding your Why. Don't worry, we won't be too intrusive: we know how valuable your privacy is, and we wouldn't want to alienate you, or have you feel overly exposed in any way. 

By the way, we have done these tweakments on ourselves, and the entire staff have had a little something done here, and there. You can't even tell, most of the time, but if you want what we do to show, we can do that too! You get to decide, subtle, or super in your face! 

We look forward to booking your Make Yourself Young & Beautiful appointments. Remember: An empty syringe means you got your fill, and now you feel and look fabulous. 

Don't just sit there imagining how sexy and gorgeous you will look and feel. Call now!