Running with Scissors

HELP. I was running with scissors slipped and fell and cut my soul to shreds. Can you piece me back together? I laughed childishly as this image and metaphor popped into my caustic naughty mind while I once again listened to a rescue story from a close friend. There is a human relations diabolical triangle that is lived out in the hearts minds and lives of the unconscious. A play with roles performed by an uncast crew of victim, rescuer and persecutor. (Google this for yourself and see if you recognize any patterns in your own life. Look for Transcending The Victim-Rescuer-Persecutor Triangle, orginally published in the Holman House Healing Centre Journal & a Greek Magazine). As a recovering rescuer, I must be ever vigilant in my awareness and efforts to not become entangled in tempting triangular role playing. I like harmony and human suffering causes me to suffer too. I remember learning that when one baby starts crying, it is likely that other babies within ear shot will also begin to cry. Empathy, sympathy, mirror neurons, it doesn't really matter the initiation process, it would appear that we are conditioned as human beings to feel pain vicariously and some of us have a hard time separating ourselves from the pain of others. The discomfort drives the rescuer to fix, make better or somehow alleviate the pain they see and or hear.The victim has an innate ability to cultivate relationships with rescuers and as the unhealthy pattern develops and grows, it becomes toxic with interdependence. Victim is understood finally and might I add repeatedly, since this is, after all, a pattern, and their woes are met with compassion; Rescuer is heroic and justified as valiant problem solver and wound healer; the common enemy is the source of pain, the trouble making Persecutor that everyone loves to hate. Overly simplified? Well yes of course, this ain't no scientific report you are reading! Here is the driving point: This unhealthy triangular game needs three willing participants to make all the ugly and messy happen. The roles are interchangeable and each player gets to try their hand at hurt, angry and let me make it all better roles. Once the pattern is established, it repeats itself in strange and wonderful ways, establishing footholds at home, work, place of worship and in friendships. Seeing the pattern, understanding the roles and deciding no, this is not for me, is the only way out. Help is indeed required because underneath the roles played out, there is a need to be heard, seen and healed. Breaking the pattern requires awareness and conscious effort for those who really want to be free. What about you? Are you running with sharpened scissors, Dear Reader? Is it time to put them down? You are at the bottom of this story, this page, what conclusions have you?

One Life, One Love, safety first is always the best rule.