Bored

If it's not interesting, I'm not interested. Boring sucks up time, it is an abuse of an essential life element, the brain. I recall driving my grade school aged son to class one morning and while I drove, he gave me many a detail about a video game he liked to play. At first I did the polite thing, the mindless compulsory thing of feigning interest by saying ah huh, oh yes and then it hit me, he wasn't about to stop any time soon and the details kept coming incessantly and I was drowning in a sea of endless nothingness and I couldn't take it anymore! Than I said it, the unthinkable, I told him I was bored. I shared with my son that if he wanted to be in relationship with others, he had to take into consideration how the other person felt, if they were interested and if not, what would interest them in continuing the conversation? In coaching, there is something called bottom lining, a way to say what you mean without the story telling and rambling details that threaten to put others to sleep. If you are nodding off right now, it's time for you to stop reading this, I wouldn't want you to get bored!

The Torch

"We are not trying to fix disabled people, we are trying to fix the community"...this I quote from the Executive Director of the Alice Saddy organization, Bud Carter.  I am stunned again as I contemplate his words. Alice Saddy is the name of a woman that dedicated her short lived life to being an advocate, a voice for those that had been muted, put aside, hidden away from society and ostensibly ignored if not completely forgotten. The love of humanity torch that Alice lit has been passed on and shines brightly as the staff that honour and serve developmentally disabled clients, continue to work as advocates so that physical needs are met AND hopes, dreams, strengths and capabilities are factored into the care equation. Autonomy in community, to be seen and know as a contributing valuable member of society, isn't this what we ALL want? I see us all as developmentally disabled and enabled at so many points in our lives. Each time I judge, assume, I show my own inability to see clearly, weakening my capacity as a compassionate human that deeply desires connection with others without barriers...this is the human condition, to love and be loved is our greatest need. We must of necessity do this together, this love thing, it does not exist in isolation. All you need is love, da da da da, all you need is love...thanks Alice Saddy, Ken MacLellan, Bud, the Alice staff, for the reminder. 

Oscar Barahona

While in San Fransisco recently, I had a Lyft driver named Oscar. He is a young man in his early twenties. We spoke about his newly approved citizenship, that he had been living in the states since childhood and became a citizen a short time ago.The details are fuzzy to me now~I wasn't taking notes during the ride and it was 6 a.m. While the specifics of his story may be fun facts, it is the essence of Oscar that I attempt here to capture, he impressed me greatly with his natural wisdom and peaceful presence. Oscar had a lot to lose as a kid, being an immigrant. He could see far into the furture that mistakes, wrong moves, a criminal record would detour him from the life of choice and freedom he knew was available to him in the United States. Being deported loomed in his young mind and with the long term goal of staying, belonging, holding his place in society and community, he chose repeatedly to stay at peace with those around him who sought to engage him in fight, arguments, law breaking. His philosophy is "then what?" As in if I do this, then what will happen?  I am struck as I write by the deep knowing this young man has, of the now, the future and outcomes.THIS is emotional intelligence, when a person holds their own and can't be swayed to disregard or dishonour themselves in the heat of the moment. Perhaps self respect is the huge bottom line here and that all things are added to this love of self, wanting the best for myself, you wanting the best for yourself and making choices based on this truth. It is not hedonistic, it is not selfish, this love, it is the starting place for peace within and evidence of this becomes a display for others to witness, experience, soak in and wonder about. One of my heroes is Norman Vincent Peale, he marvelled at the greatness in humanity, I follow in his footsteps, grateful for the lessons along the way. If I do this...then what?  Thank you Oscar Barahona, for reminding me that one moment in time invariably leads to the next, and the next and so on, off into infinity~each moment and the choices therein count. 

Fauk Faulk

I belong to a tribe of seagulls. I signed up for a Leadership program that spans a ten month period and this is where I met my flock. Being a seagull has increased my awareness of seagull presence and behaviours. Seagulls love food, are curious and gregarious. When other birds occupy pond space, the seagulls are the ones that dip and play in the wind and water, squawking as they rise and drop, land for a brief second only to take off again, like drunken sky sailors with an adventous quirky flight pattern that only seagulls understand.They aren't the most serious of birds and their in your face do you care to share your French fries attitude could be unnerving if you don't understand them the way that other seagulls do. These birds are no holds barred, they are the ones that are laughing and playing, getting down to serious food gathering business when need be, always with an almost cocky attitude of you are going to share with me, right?  That's my flock, my people, my tribe. Sharing for us is caring, loving, being with, no holds or withholding is allowed as we fly, swoop, gather, disperse and purposefully reconnect, fauking all the way (that's seagull speak for how we communicate with one another) in the sky over houses, dancing for a beloved seagull, grieving for another, laughing and crying as we witness and see one another in our agony and glory, knowing, always knowing that invitation is not required, it is automatic and ever present for each memeber of the flock. To my tribe, my flock, fauk, fauk...translation...I love you.

Elephant Sighting

Hi. This simple word can be the start of a beautiful relationship. Hi, hello, these are small inivitations, itty bitty gateways to secret soul gardens. I am about to state the obvious~when out in public human beings are bound to encounter other human beings and each time we do, we get to decide what that will be like, at least for us. I like people and when someone is approaching and about to pass me in the opposite direction, I like to make eye contact, smile and say a quick hello or good morning, some kind of greeting that acknowledges their presence, a way for them to know that they are noticed. When the other does not look my way, especially when we are only two, it saddens me, it feels like a lost opportunity for the exchange of pleasantry, an inexpensive way of showing another that they are valuable. I met an elephant on a pathway recently. My urge was to say hello and I did and she met me there, welcoming me into her soul garden with her eyes, heart opened wide. We started a friendship (she is a human, part of the elephant tribe) and I am so grateful because for some powerful reason that I cannot yet explain, we were meant to meet, to share and as it turns out, we have our faith in common and this alone is a gift beyond measure. We live far apart and yet, I feel her in my heart and because we were both willing to share, my short time in her company has left a lasting impression. Fearless, I am a fearless follower of Christ and He leadith me to green pastures where many a wild elephant roams. I dedicate this to you Shera Johnson, you have left huge stomp marks on my heart, much love, Linda Byers. 

Melting

Melting, I'm melting...as I type this, I hear the wicked witch of the west from The Wizard of Oz say this in my head as she becomes a clothing and nasty essence puddle of nothingness on the ground.  That's how I feel, as though all the nasty stuff is melting out of me, leaving me, just me, a ball of energy loving the world around me, gathering strength from the rustle of wind blown leaves, looking into the eyes of strangers when they dare to connect and see, just me, just them and all the possibilities that are and can be. I just returned from a retreat, the theme was/is, create from other. In order to do this, there must be wall removal work, a willingness to be intimate and a strong urge to speak truth in service of establishing trust. The trust building is gradual, experiential and very physical. How close can I get to another human being without scaring myself and them, with the soul purpose (not a misspelling here) the soul purpose of them knowing me, me knowing them, no barriers, an us feeling that is astounding and glorious all at once. Yes, I speak of other worldly things and why not?  There will always be bills to pay, money to make, illness and disaster...reality stays and keeps us anchored to the earth no matter how hard we try to fly.  The soul, it has it's own flight pattern, it cares not of earthly things, it longs to belong, be seen, felt, met, acknowledged and cuddled in close. Lonely does not have to exist when all we need to do is invite another in and and AND accept when we are the invited.