Severe Soul Spanking

The nightmare I had early Wednesday morning scared the hell out of me, and I mean this in the most literal sense. When I consider the people I have loved while they walked the earth, and the possibility of in their death, hell became their eternal reality, I cannot help but weep. There is nothing more horrifying than these thoughts. My recent glimpse into the dark side has drastically changed me, and is exactly what I needed.

Days before my horrifying awakening to the terrors of damnation, I had asked God with some reluctance, some hesitancy, to see what he sees. He gave me a glimpse that felt like a severe soul spanking, and I am ever so grateful to him for loving me in my chastisement. I knew I needed a change in my thinking. My well worn patterned thought track was faulty; derailment was required to recalibrate to Christ as righteous Ruler, Redeemer, and Judge. My old thinking wasn't serving me, or anyone else for that matter. The saints in my life have prayed, and from their hearts to God's ears, I am newly broken, and filling up with compassion for those that know not God, work against themselves, and worse yet, against him. I admit, I am shy to admit, how much the saints sweetly prayed, never rubbing in my face how very wrong I have been. In hindsight, mercy is the prettiest blessing to the newly rebuked. 

What, you ask, was my thought error and grand sin? First let me ask you, have you figured out yours, dear reader? If we are going to share in a soulful and vulnerable come to Jesus way, you must address yourself, stand before your maker, and ask him to teach you a thing or two that may feel like a whooping! Go on now, do some salvation recognizance with fear and trembling, before the God that made you. 

Confession time

Okay, confession time for this writer. I wanted justice, NOW. This isn't my first foray into being demanding in my thoughts and feelings. This isn't my first time on the bench, impatiently waiting while suggesting that now, now is a good time for the tomfoolery to be stopped and for the tom fools to be held to account. Vengeance is the Lord's, I knew this, but Hurry up God I can't wait all day, was my mentality. For shame, how dare I?

Thankfully, God is kinder to his wayward saints then we deserve, and on the heels of Wednesday morning's nightmare, I had some instructional insights that are salve to my soul. Matthew Henry's Commentary On The Whole Bible is my resource, page 699:

... look upon the pride of oppressors with a holy indignation and the tears of the oppressed with a holy compassion. Look upwards to the righteous judge with an entire satisfaction, and look forward to the end of all these things, with a pleasing hope 

My checklist for what I had right:

holy indignation regarding the pride of oppressors

holy compassion for the tears of the oppressed

My checklist for what I wasn't doing:

Look upwards to the righteous judge with an entire satisfaction

Look forward to the end of all these things with a

Pleasing hope

Once we leave these tents, these shells that house our spirits, there are two possible outcomes and only two, for each human being, namely, eternity in heaven or eternity in hell. To actuate eternity in one place or the other, there are two possible ways and only two, namely, repentance or rebelling, which in turn lead to redemption or ruin, respectively. My sin was wanting the ruin of those that have hurt the oppressed and vulnerable to the point of severe injury and death. My sin was believing that the oppressors are unforgivable and damned, knowing full well that where there is life, there is hope. Who am I, to want the damnation of others based on what they have done? My nightmarish realization taught me that only God is truly just, and but for God, go I ... meaning, I too could be damned, if I start acting as Judge in his place. Vengeance is the Lord's and while I take breath and walk the earth, I want my conscience and hands clean. I want to be blameless before him and this is only possible when I turn away from my own sin and walk in his ways. 

Justice

Justice, yes. I want those that have committed heinous crimes against their fellow man, that have acted as though they are un-human, and work on behalf of Satan, to be judged in a court of law, given death sentences, making them pay with their own lives for what they have done to the innocent and vulnerable. This attitude is godly and displays my holy indignation against the enemies of God and his people; it also displays my holy compassion for the tears of the oppressed. The change in my thinking and heart is the looking up, the looking forward to the end of these things with a pleasing hope, that God will bring many to repentance, redeeming them and securing their place with him in heaven, and that he will damn those that bring themselves to their own rebellious ruin, for believing they are not accountable to anyone, including him. 

The bottom line, is God knows what we think, how it tenderizes or hardens our hearts, and ultimately, where we will end up ... and no one else does, not one amongst us, and praise God, while their is life, there too, is hope.

Now I pray for the wicked without resistance or reluctancy. I truly desire, none to be lost, in Jesus name.