Loving Death

But he that sinneth against me wrongeth his own soul: and all they that hate me love death (Proverbs 8:36)

Today I saw a man with a mask plastered across his nose with his mouth as a breathing hole. I saw a woman in long sleeves, long pants, a hat, sunglasses, and a sheet hanging over her nose down below her chin, riding her bike on one of the heaviest traffic filled streets in London. Seeing a person solo in their car, driving with a mask; a person letting me into the fitting room after counting my items in a mask; or someone waiting for a bus in the heat in a mask, has me thinking people have lost their minds while somehow still functioning, doing what is most mediocre, while strangely, dare I say, living? THAT IS NOT LIVING!

I admit, my patience is wearing thin. I have alternated between disgust, compassion, irritation, sadness, and downright outrage, over the ridiculousness of having to communicate, navigate, and tolerate idiocy, minus screaming WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? Today, when I saw the woman with the black mask waiting for the bus, it shocked me... it looked like a torture device, but dear God in heaven, the woman placed it on herself, without anyone forcing her or making her decide she had to do it... she is torturing herself for badness sakes! 

The sadness kicks in when I realize that the mask represents what I know these people have chosen. The likelihood of them having been willfully (against God's will) injected, believing that by doing so they are preserving life, theirs and the lives of others, is high. The mask represents what they believe... what do they believe, dear reader? What do you, pray tell, believe?

I believe in God the Father

I believe in God the Son

I believe in the Holy Spirit

Our God is three in One

It pains me greatly that people do not know God and that He is the author of life. It pains me that people think they have the power of life and death when that belongs to God alone. It pains me when people choose to self enslave, and by doing so, they enslave us all...

Think with me dear reader, think until it hurts and maybe your soul sheds a drop or two of oxygen rich blood. We are intricately connected. What hurts you hurts me too. 

I am not a slave

I do not bow down

I do not mask my face, my feelings

I speak truth

I protect the innocent and fight for the vulnerable

But God help me, I cannot save anyone who willingly takes their own breath away, kneels to the one that wants to kill them, covers their own mouth making them speechless, lies to them self and others, or falls prone to the ground to be stomped by the enemy of their soul.

I am useless, helpless, speechless, and can do nothing while I witness the travesty of self-sacrifice. These are the most wicked days I have ever witnessed and I have never felt so hopeless for humanity. I know God is in charge, but dear one, humans deny Him and in so doing, they devastate their own existence: this is what I see, and it grieves my soul. 

I feel like I am living in an ugly bizarre with the wares being used and second hand. Everything is rusting and old when I am in and amongst the fray, the people that occupy every day, living as though this is their good enough, this is their dream come true, this is the existence for me, and for you. It is ugly, and I cannot call this my home.

Today I grieve humanity. Today I see them as sad, as sick, and I am forlorn and repelled. Today I admit, sin has a face and hides itself behind a mask... but I see it, and it is hideous. Today I wish for the end, for Jesus to come quickly, and for the pain of watching people giving themselves over to the dark side to stop: I wish to see it no more. 

Today I wish for earth to be rolled up like a scroll and for heaven to be my new and permanent home... today I long, knowing the worst and the best, is yet to be.