Aliens

I jest

I never thought this day would come but it has dear reader. I am wondering how I denied it all before and now, I must confess... I believe... in aliens. These creatures are everywhere and can be observed at your own breakfast table or next to you as you drive across town to the mall. Open your eyes and take a look around you, can you see them? Glance in the mirror and oh my gosh, you see one there too! I jest, of course, but I am curious about some things and I am willing to investigate them, play my imagination out here, with you.

Talkers
I was riding my bike through the park yesterday and approached two young women walking their dogs. One woman was speaking and I observed the other, looking in her direction and nodding. I went around them and carried on, thinking, man alive, that girl sure can talk and her friend is a captive (perhaps even captivated, audience). Next, I observed a woman seated on a park bench with her phone held in front of her face, listening to a female who happened to be on speaker. I could clearly hear her advising "you need to think of yourself" as she babbled without taking a breath.

Judgemental 
My thoughts, you ask? My thought was that there was a lopsidedness to these exchanges. There was a taking advantage happening as the talkers held the floor endlessly while their companions listened intently and generously. If you think I am being judgemental, so be it... you may be very right on this front, but despite your judgement of my judgemental-ness, I will carry on and make my point, since I am the writer and you are the reader (can you see now how imbalances can occur, dear one?).

Listeners

How attuned are you as a listener?

Back to the ladies. I made it to the end of the path I was on and turned back. I had an intuitive moment where I wondered if as I passed these ladies again, the talkers would still be talking and the listeners would still be listening. What do you think? Was there a time and interest sharing happening? Did the talker open the floor to the possibility of paying full undivided attention to their companion? Are you like me, suspecting that the listeners would still be enduring politely while the talkers, carried on without noticing, as though they were in their own little world of self-absorption, with true interaction being an alien concept to them?

As I approached the lady on the bench, she had freeze framed, holding the position I had seen her in moments before. She was holding the phone in front of her face, elbow supported for the long haul: she was still listening. It took me time on the path to get to the next pair, the young women. There too, nothing had changed, except for the direction they were traveling. The talker was still talking, and the listener was still paying homage. 

Dear reader, which one are you? I am embarrassed to admit that I can be that talky person, the one that carries on... I can also be the listening one, that wishes the other person would notice that there is someone in their presence, being bombarded with words. My point, you ask?

Interacting electrically
Is there room for a good old fashioned back and forth? I speak, you notice what I mean and comment on precisely that. From your comments, I see a highlight, there is an intriguing idea, and from there, I respond to something that came precisely from your mouth and mind... playing off of one another with ears attuned to opportunities to interact electrically. 

I have experienced this and it is glorious. When I get self-absorbed, I get disconnected and miss the back and forth firing playmate fun. Can you relate? My point now, is this: paying attention to one another is elemental in relationship. It is in reciprocal exchanges, that both parties benefit and feel great satisfaction in the sharing.

My current commitment 
I am going to practice these skills today: listening, noticing, acknowledging others, speaking from understanding and not from I. Care to join me, dear one?

Let the brilliant sparks fly